Mag-log inIt's just another snowy day, and I've got a full plan ahead of me, finally cutting Cort's pictures, decorating the photo book from start to finish.After breakfast, Mave asks if I want to stick around and help decorate the house with everyone with lights going up, trees getting decorated with ornaments, the whole family thing. Dad already left for work early, missing breakfast entirely."No, actually — I'd love to, but I've got something important to take care of.""Okay. Go handle your important matters." Mave does the air quotes. "We'll just be here, doing all this. You know."I nod slowly and head for the stairs without another word. Once I'm back in my room, I grab the photo book off my desk and lay out all my supplies. The glue, scissors, Cort’s photos.I sink down onto the floor, connect my phone to the mini speaker, and let "Sue Me" play while I start cutting the pictures into rectangular strips. The first one I glue down is from pottery class, the day Cortney and I actually be
I call Cleo to ask for help figuring out what to get Cortney.I've spent the entire evening knitting, and I'm nearly finished with the scarf when it suddenly hits me. Cleo is exactly the kind of person who'd have a good idea for this.She picked up on the first ring, buzzing with excitement already."What about a picture book?""A picture book?" I pull the phone away from my ear for a second, completely thrown. "What?""Yeah, think about it. It's thoughtful. You print out pictures, write the date or memories under each one. It’s basically building a little timeline of memories instead of just buying something off a shelf. You can throw in the funny ones, the cringey ones, whatever. It's really about showing her how much you appreciate her, telling her what kind of friend she's actually been to you. Mix in photos of the two of you together. Since you said she can afford anything literally, this feels like the move.""Yeah, she can.""Then go with this one. I'd bet nobody's ever given h
I've spent hours researching the best gifts for Cortney's birthday. But everything I find is either outrageously expensive or just doesn't make sense for her.Cortney dropped me off three hours ago, and I've been holed up in my room ever since, hiding from my niece and nephew so they don't come barreling in and derail my focus. And three hours later, I still haven't caught up on anything for my best friend. I glance toward the window, watching snow drift down. It’s not heavy, just soft against the glass.It's starting to get dark out. My eyes drift to the closet, catching on the cream cotton-and-cashmere-blend coat hanging there.When I got home and Mom saw it on me, I told her Cort bought it. That’s true enough, but I conveniently left out the actual price tag. I know exactly how that conversation would've gone: "You need to take that back and get something more reasonable. Keep the change." But I want this coat. Sometimes you need one luxurious thing in your closet. I have a lot of
I told River about the whole flower incident, how close it came to blowing everything up. I asked him to dial it back, and to his credit, he agreed without much pushback.Things between us have actually been going well since then. He cut way back on the PDA-adjacent recklessness, sticking mostly to calls and texts instead. Though lately I've noticed something else creeping in. His replies have started coming slower. A few hours sometimes, whereas before it was minutes.Probably just practice eating up his time. Mr. Dawson apparently had words with the coach about benching his son. Cortney filled me in on that part, rolling her eyes the whole time she told it. River's back on the ice now, fully reinstated, though with strict conditions attached: one more solo stunt and he's off the team for good, no appeals, no second chances. It went all the way up to the board, apparently, and he's agreed to play by the rules this time.Weeks slide by after that. First-term exams roll in, and the who
***~~~CHANCÉ~~~***I've been floating on cloud nine since Saturday. River's been impossibly dreamy about it all — though I do wish he'd tone it down a little, at least until we've actually told Cortney, before we end up caught by accident instead of choice.Cortney and I spend the entire day curled up in her bed, drifting in and out of sleep, still wiped from the night before. I even get a string of calls from teachers asking if I'm okay, since I've never skipped school before in my life. I lie, telling them I caught something over the weekend, promising I'll be back tomorrow, phone pressed to my ear while Cortney mouths liar at me from across the bed, grinning.We spend most of the day like that, dozing off, scrolling our phones, tangled in her blankets, barely moving except to reach for snacks Melody keeps bringing up. By evening, I finally pull myself up, gather my things, and head home."Hey, Mom." I step inside, kicking my shoes off by the door. I'd taken the bus over on purpos
***~~~ RIVER~~~***I’m happy Chan and I are back together. Picking up that diamond necklace was a fucking smart move.I made tonight romantic for her on purpose, and I’m glad I did. She talked more than she has in weeks—more than she has since we started dating. It felt good hearing that side of her, the one my sister always gets to see.I’m just walking into the house when my phone starts ringing. I pull it out, see the name, and almost ignore it. I’ve been trying hard not to talk to Sophia. The guilt of me cheating on my girl is already heavy enough. But of course I answer anyway. I always do.I put the phone to my ear as I head upstairs and shut my bedroom door behind me, already searching for an excuse to keep the call short.I drop onto the bed. Her voice comes through, soft and tired.“A student confided in me about a boy. I’m really not the best person to be giving that kind of advice. Look at my life—I’m a mess. Single. Rough past. And I’m sure she’ll bring it up again the n
( Two Months Later)The rink is loud with cheering—fans screaming and clapping as the players race across the ice. But the noise fades in the back of my mind the moment his eyes meet mine for a glimpse. Now all I hear is his voice from the night before. Low. Close to my ear.“How do you want to be
***~~~ RIVER~~~***I notice her. I’ve always noticed her, and Chan has always been… naive. Quiet. Too soft for someone like me.I’ve been watching her for four years. Even before all these forbidden escapades. Before the lake. Before she saved my life.My jaw tightens slightly at the memory. If s
I feel used. Completely used. That’s been the way I’ve felt since the first time River came into my room. He didn’t even acknowledge it before he just took what he wanted.There was one thing I thought would change. I thought if I let him have my body, my virginity, he would like me back, but I gue
I toss and turn until I finally stop. With my hand on my stomach, I stare at the ceiling, letting out a long breath. Cortney dropped me home thirty minutes ago, and River hasn’t shown up yet.Maybe it is for the best.I sigh, running my hand through my hair.What exactly am I doing? I know he will







