Ch. 23

SERGIUS

I looked at my beta like he was already going crazy. “What did you just say? I should make her love me? It cannot be possible. You know that. It's not like we're even staying in the same premises that I can even make a move. I can't do any of that. How do you expect me to make her love me?” I asked him, suddenly feeling even more frustrated. He was already making me seem like a fool.

At this point, he slowly walked towards me and whispered, “You don't have to be in the same premises with her. Make a few advances, a few moves, and she will notice it immediately. No, you can always make any type of advances towards her. Besides, you can send secret messages to her. From the looks of it, you are still Fiona's mate, and you know what that means? It means that her inner wolf will still continue to feel your presence no matter what. And whenever you make a move, she feels more in love with you than she has ever been. Why don't you keep trying your luck, and I assure you it will definitely work.”

I smiled, feeling satisfied. “I think that is what I would do. At this point, that is the only best choice,” I assured him. 

And then the game began. He brought out a sheet of paper just when the priest had left and brought a pen. “How do you want to express yourself to her?” he said as I laughed.

“Express myself to Fiona? Does it even make sense to you? Do you really think I'm doing this because I love her?” I said, as my beta's cheerful smile dropped.

“You never liked her. You never actually loved her. Alpha Sergius, tell me you never loved her. Tell me to my face that you don't care. When you saw her, you felt nothing.”

His words stunned me for a minute as I looked away. “I don't know how to express that to you or explain myself to you, but I want you to understand that I don't think I love her. I don't even care for her. I don't think I can love any woman in this life,” I said as he scoffed, feeling like he was even more pissed.

“Then we don't know how we're going to solve this issue because I can't help you when you don't even know what you're going to tell her. And then what if I get her to talk to you? How do you want to confront her? Make her give you that child at least, even if you can't be with her, even if you can't marry her. You already have three wives, but you need that egg, and she won't give it to you. I know you might start a meeting and try to talk to your brother, but he also would not have the right to Fiona's child if Fiona does not want it, which clearly means it is all up to you. You understand what I mean?” I said to him.

“Then what do I do? Pretend like I love her?” he asked.

“Yes, pretend,” he attacked me instantly, not even letting me finish my speech. “Whatever you want to do, just do it. If you have to lie, lie. And then maybe when you do, you realize that you are lying to yourself, deceiving yourself all this while, and it wasn't the way you always thought it would be. It seems as if you are still joking around. I guess when things get difficult, you become more serious,” he said.

He left the pen for me, walking towards the door as he held to the handle, slowly turning to me. “Write whatever you want,” he added before leaving me alone in the room.

I looked at the blank sheet and the pen in my hand, not knowing what to say next, not knowing how to express myself to Fiona. How could I? I picked up the pen after dropping it multiple times, wondering what I could possibly say to her. How can I convince her? I don't even know what is wrong with me in the first place. I'm playing a stupid game, and I am losing. 

I tapped on the desk continuously. If I have to pick up this with Fiona, I would have to continue it for a long while. Am I really capable of that? I wrote her name at first. Another moment I recalled that night, the night I thought she was just a girl I would sleep with and throw away. I could remember how intense it felt hugging her, holding her, and kissing her. It was so mesmerizing, but my ego did not let me. I couldn't even understand what I was doing at that point because I was too busy throwing away everything, thinking I was too good. But I wasn't. I was just a useless fool who did not know what he was losing.

I began to scramble down everything I had in my head, and in the next few minutes, I was done writing a full sheet of letter to her. I breathed a sigh of relief, scanning through my words to be sure again before folding it and then calling in my beta.

He walked in and still looked angry. “Stop looking pissed. I already wrote something, and for some weird reason, I don't know why I felt like I needed to say these things. And the more I wrote down, the more I found more expression to say,” I said to him.

He brought out the envelope in his pocket and picked up the letter. “I will find a way for it to get to her,” he muttered. “Very soon you realize your mistake, and if you don't realize it sooner, Cyprus might just end up taking everything from you,” he warned and then left me.

I stood up from my desk and went to my bed. As I laid there, staring up at the ceiling, what was he trying to say exactly? Cyprus taking everything from me when he isn't stupid. He wouldn't even dare to make such a stupid move on something that already belongs to me. I shut my eyes to sleep, hoping I would, but the images that flashed in my head were all Fiona.