Chapter 4 : The Alpha’s Hidden Hunger

Moana’s POV

Sela steps closer. She sneers down at me. “So you really thought you would become Luna? Pathetic.”

Elara kicks my side lightly, just enough to make me stumble. Ava laughs loudly.

I try to wipe the dirty water off my face, but my wet hair sticks to my cheeks and my dress feels cold and heavy against my skin. I feel all of them looking at me like I am nothing but trash.

“Look at her,” Sela says. “A Drudge who cleans floors.”

“She really thought she could become Eldrick’s mate,” Elara laughs.

I stay on my knees and hold the scrub brush tight, as if it could protect me. Sela pushes me again. The three of them laugh loudly. Then finally, Sela glares at me one last time.

“You can never become Eldrick’s Luna,” she says. Then she walks away. Elara and Ava follow, still laughing. I sink lower in the wet puddle. My body shakes with cold and shame.

The hall grows quiet again. I finish scrubbing the floor as fast as I can, hoping nobody else comes to humiliate me.

Later that evening, my bones ache and my heart feels like a heavy stone as I walk to the library.

It is a cold room filled with thousands of old books and maps, the only place in the pack house where I feel safe.

No one ever comes here.

I sat on the floor and unrolled the maps covered in dust. As I clean them, I see my father’s neat handwriting along the edges. He used to be a map-maker for the old Alpha. I touched the ink gently, and hot tears gathered in my eyes.

“I am sorry, Father,” I whisper. “I am sorry they hate us so much.”

As the sun began to set, the library door opened.

I look up with a small smile, thinking it is Kaelen with the tea he promised.

But it is not Kaelen. It is Eldrick.

He stands in the doorway wearing only a thin black shirt. He looks tired, like he is fighting a war inside his own head. He does not speak. He just stands there, breathing heavily.

The air in the library grows thick as the broken bond stirs between us again. The magic refuses to let go, still trying to pull us back together.

“Why are you here, Alpha?” My heart thumps hard in my chest.

Eldrick does not answer right away. He takes one step closer, then another. He glances at the maps on the floor, then looks at me.

“I can’t sleep,” he whispers, his voice broken. “I can’t breathe. My wolf keeps reaching for you, and every time he does, I want to tear him out of my skin.”

He stops right in front of me. I look up at him. For the first time, anger mixes with my fear. “Then kill him,” I say, my voice shaking. “You already killed my heart. So why stop there?”

Eldrick reaches out to me. But this time he does not grab my chin. His fingers touched my hair. They slipped off his fingers like soft silk.

“Moana,” he whispers.

The way he says my name sends a shiver down my spine. It did not sound like a curse. It sounded like a prayer.

But then he pulls his hand away like I burned him. He growls and punches the wooden bookshelf beside me. The wood cracks under his fist.

“I hate this!” he roars at the ceiling. “I hate that the Goddess chose you! I hate that I can smell your scent from across the castle! I hate that I want to hold you!”

His golden eyes glow as he looks down at me. “You are a poisoned well, Moana Ashclaw. And I am dying of thirst,” he says, the words raw and ragged, torn from somewhere deep and desperate.

Before I could even process what’s happening, he turns and storms out of the library, leaving the door swinging behind him.

I sat in the dark, clutching the dusty map to my chest like a fragile lifeline. Tears carved hot trails down my cheeks.

“He hates me,” I whispered into the silence, “but he wants me. He rejected me, yet he cannot stay away.”

Later that night, I tried to finish the last of my tasks but could not. I slipped back down into the cellar. The stone walls pressed close, cold and familiar. As I curled beneath my thin blanket, my mind replayed every sharp word and stolen glance from the library earlier today: Eldrick’s cruel mouth, the storm in his eyes, and the way his voice had cracked despite his efforts to remain detached. Sleep came in fragments, haunted by the ghost of his touch and the ache he left behind.

The next morning arrived even worse.

The pain in my chest had deepened overnight into something heavier, a bone-deep flu that made every breath feel like a hot coal. When I tried to sit up, the room spun violently. My limbs trembled as I forced myself to stand, gripping the rough wall for support. Thirst clawed at my throat—sharp, desperate, and endless. I was dying for a relief I could not name, and I knew, with a sick certainty, that Eldrick was suffering just the same.

A small, traitorous part of my wolf stirred with reluctant pity. Even after everything, after his rejection and his venom, he was trapped in the very same torment. The thought only made the dizziness worse.

I returned to the library early because I could not finish the work yesterday.

I like the quiet there.

I sat on the cold stone floor of the library, surrounded by towering shelves that swallowed the lantern light. I organized the maps of the North Border. One slipped from the pile and unfolded across my lap. At first I frowned, my aching head barely registering it. But then the mountains in it looked… wrong.

I reached for one of the official border maps beside me, my fingers trembling slightly from the weariness in my bones, and spread it open. My eyes darted back and forth between the two.

On the official map, the mountain range formed a solid, impenetrable wall stretching across the border. But on this one, faint dotted lines threaded behind the mountain rocks.

I leaned closer, the lantern’s flickering glow casting long shadows. My fingertip traced one of the markings as it vanished behind a cluster of peaks and reappeared on the other side. A strange, uneasy twist settled in my stomach.

“What are these lines supposed to mean?” I whispered.

I checked the official map again. Nothing. No dotted lines. No markings at all.

My eyes returned to the strange map. The lines were so faint I almost missed the tiny writing beside them. I shifted nearer to the lantern again, brushing away a layer of dust carefully with my fingers. My breath caught.

“I know this handwriting,” I whispered. “It’s my father’s.”

I swallowed hard against the persistent thirst clawing at my throat and bent even closer to read: Secret routes confirmed. Investigating unauthorized rogue wolves crossing near the North Border. —Kyrian Ashclaw, Spring 1273.

I read the words once. Then again. My fingers tightened around the edge of the map until the paper creaked.

“Unauthorized crossings?” Hmm.

My eyes moved back to the dotted lines threading through the mountains. From what I could see, the note was dated only a few months before my father’s death.

A chill crawled down my spine. “Why would he be investigating this?” I murmured. “And why has nobody ever mentioned it?”

The official records showed nothing. Nothing at all.

Then the sharp realization dropped on me like a block of ice: What if this is connected to my father’s death?

The library door creaks open. I jump, my heart racing. I thought it was Eldrick coming back, but it is Kaelen the beta. He carries a small tray with bread and warm tea.

“I am sorry I didn’t send you the tea like I promised yesterday.”

I stood up with a huge smile. “It’s fine, Beta. You do not have to apologize.”

“You look like you have not moved in hours,” Kaelen says. He sits on a chair near me and sets the tray down on the floor. “Eat, Moana. You are getting too thin.”

“Thank you, Beta,” I say. I take a quick sip of the tea. It feels good on my sore throat. “Kaelen? Do you know why my father drew these lines on the maps?”

Kaelen leans over, confused. His eyes widen as he stares at the two maps. “I have never seen those. These maps are very old. Your father was the best scout we ever had in our pack before… before the fallout.”

“He was not a traitor, Kaelen,” I say, looking him in the eye. “I know everyone says he was. But he loved this pack with his own life.”

Kaelen sighs. He looks at me with a small smile. “I want to believe you, Moana. But the Alpha saw the evidence with his own eyes. You were not there.” His voice cracks, almost dismissive. “So please eat and get some strength. You will need it.”

We sit in silence for a moment. Then a loud noise comes from the hallway, like something breaking, followed by a roar of anger.

“He is having a bad day,” Kaelen whispers.

“Eldrick?”

“Yes… his wolf has been losing control. Since the night of the blood moon, his temper is getting worse. He broke a table in the meeting room this morning because a warrior was breathing too loud. He is losing his mind trying to fight the bond, Moana.”

Before Kaelen’s words could even settle, a loud cracking sound came from the library’s main entrance doors. The heavy wood slammed open hard enough to rattle the shelves.

Eldrick stood there. He looked like he had been in a fight. His shirt was torn at the shoulder and his breathing came fast and ragged. He looked at me first, then his eyes snapped to Kaelen.

“Out,” Eldrick growled at Kaelen.

“Eldrick, she is just working and I—”

“I said OUT!” Eldrick screamed. The power in his voice made the books on the shelves shake.

Kaelen gave me a worried look, but he could not stay. He stood up and walked out, closing the door softly behind him.

I stood up slowly, holding my father’s map against my chest like a shield. Eldrick walked toward me. He did not stop until he was only an inch away. I could feel the heat coming off his body.