chapter 39

Drasa’s POV

I barely made it to the dorm, the weight of every stare and whispered conversation pressing down on me with every step.

Fingers pointed as I passed, people exchanged looks, but I didn’t care. Let them talk, let them judge, nothing new.

I walked faster, not wanting to deal with their judgment for another second. As soon as I reached the door of my room, I pushed it open, barely taking a breath before stepping inside.

Maya was sitting at her desk, buried in her books, headphones on, completely lost in whatever she was studying. I closed the door quietly behind me, leaning against it for a moment, just taking in the comfort of being in a space where I didn’t have to pretend to be anyone else but myself.

I slipped off my hoodie and tossed it on the bed, the weight of the day pulling at me. I just needed a few minutes to breathe in fresh air.

Maya didn’t even look up at first. I could hear the soft click of her pen as she scribbled notes.

It was always the same focused and determined writing. She was one of those people who could block everything out and dive into work just like Amelia.

I sat down on my bed and kicked off my shoes, deciding to close my eyes for just a minute. The pounding in my head, the way my chest felt like it was being squeezed, it all came rushing back to me. I just wanted a break.

But of course, I didn’t get it.

My phone rang, cutting through the silence like a sword. I grabbed it off the bed, seeing Amelia’s name flash across the screen.

“Drasa,” she said without preamble. “The bar’s reopening tonight, and I need to be there early. We’ve got some cleaning up to do before the crowd rolls in.”

“Right,” I muttered, rubbing my temples. “I’ll be there.”

“Come in early tonight, I can't work for two.”

“Alright, alright I will–”

I tried to shake off the weakness I was feeling, but it didn’t work. Amelia didn’t give me a chance to protest further.

She hung up after confirming the details, and I dropped the phone onto the bed with a sigh.

I’d barely settled back against my pillows when Maya turned around, her eyes squinted as she studied me. I could feel her gaze burning into me like wildfire.

“Drasa,” she said slowly, the concern in her voice unmistakable. “What’s going on? You look… off. You haven’t been yourself lately. Is everything okay?” as she pulled down her headphone.

I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to explain the mess I was in, not to her, not to anyone. Not after everything that happened this morning….so I gave her the answer I always gave when I didn’t want to deal with reality.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Just… tired from school.”

Maya didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t press the issue. Instead, she sighed, clearly not buying it, but letting it go for now, emphasis on the now.

“Well, I’m making food in a little while. You wanna join me? You haven’t eaten much today, right?”

I nodded. “Thanks, but I’ll pass for now. I need to freshen up before work.”

She didn’t push, thankfully. She turned back to her textbooks with a quiet sigh, and I left her to it as I walked to the bathroom.

The mirror reflected someone I barely recognized, a girl too tired to even look herself in the eye and her messed up silver hair packed in buns.

I splashed cold water on my face, trying to numb the ache in my head. After drying off, I stared at myself for a while, struggling to gather the strength to face the night ahead. I have to make it through this night, just like I have every other nights.

When I stepped back into the room, I could smell something cooking…. definitely Maya’s doing, of course.

Despite myself, the warmth and aroma of the meal comforted me a little.

I got dressed quickly and did a half-hearted job of freshening up. There was no use in trying to look perfect, I wasn’t fooling anyone especially not the customers at the bar.

By the time I finished, Maya was setting a plate of pasta in front of me. She looked at me for a moment, her eyes soft, but she said nothing.

I just sat down and picked at my food, forcing myself to swallow each bite. My mind was elsewhere, replaying every moment from earlier and the chaos that video has caused.

Just then a knock was heard on the door.

The knock on the door startled me. I looked at Maya, who paused mid-bite, both of us sharing the same thought….who could it be now?

I stood slowly, wiping my hands on a napkin. Maya gave me a cautious glance.

I nodded as if to say I’ve got it and walked over to open the door.

And there she was…..Tanya.

All glossy lips, designer perfume, and that fake smile she wore like a hobby. She didn’t even wait for me to say anything, just brushed past me like she belonged there.

“Cute room,” she said, glancing around the room, nose wrinkling slightly. “Smaller than I imagined, but I guess it suits your whole… vibe.”

I stared at her. “What are you doing here?”

She turned around slowly, flipping her hair over one shoulder. “Just came to check on you. You know, with everything that’s been going around in school and in the dormitory… I thought maybe you could use a little company, so you're welcome.”

Maya stood up now, instantly on alert. “Not to be rude but if you were taught proper etiquette, you'd know it's inappropriate to visit a person when they're having a meal.”

She gave her a brief look, dismissive and continued with what she was saying. “Right. And I’m sure she’s been eating up all the attention too.” Her eyes returned to mine, glittering with so much envy. “You really know how to stir things up, huh, Drasa? First the Cassian thing, then that video. Impressive.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” I said flatly.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m not giving you an opinion,” she said, walking closer. “I’m giving you perspective. See, Cassian? He doesn’t like mess. And right now, you’re the walking definition of it, he’s been quiet lately, withdrawn. People talk, you know.”

I crossed my arms. “Let them talk, since when do you care?.”

“See, that’s your problem,” Tanya said, stepping in just a little too close. “You think acting unbothered is strength, but you’re breaking, everyone sees it. Even he does. You can’t keep up the cool-girl act forever.”

I didn’t respond. I just looked at her, let the silence go on. Let her feel how unwelcome she was.

But Tanya? She wasn’t one to be discouraged easily.

“Oh, and one more thing,” she added, turning like she was about to leave, then pivoting back with a sly smile. “If you’re planning to crawl back to him, don’t waste your time. He’s already done, I saw him earlier today, he didn’t even correct anyone when they assumed you were a pushover. And let’s just say, he looked… open and unbothered.”

That stung, but I didn’t let her see it. Not even a flicker.

Before I could respond, Maya stepped in like a savior she is.

“Alright, time’s up, Little demon. You came, you poked, now go float back to wherever you get your delusions from.”

Her face twitched slightly, but she smiled like it was all still beneath her. “Sure. Just thought I’d be neighborly and say hi.”

She gave a little wave and strutted out the door like she’d just dropped some truth bomb.

When the door shut behind her, I leaned against it, my heart hammering.

Maya walked up to me, her tone softer now. “Why’d you let her say all that?”

I shook my head. “Because I needed to hear what people are thinking. Doesn’t mean I believe it, but it helps to know.”

Maya stared at me for a moment. “You're tougher than you let on, you know that?”

I shrugged. “Tough doesn’t always feel like strength. Sometimes it just feels like surviving.”

We sat back down for a while, silence brewing between us, the kind that doesn’t beg to be filled.

Eventually, Maya broke it.

“Okay, listen,” she said, nudging her plate toward me, “I know you said you're fine, but you're not. You barely touched your food, and you keep zoning out. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s cool, but just know I’m here.”

I looked at her, not surprised cause she always seems to calm me down every time things go south.

“I mean it,” she said, softer now. “You don’t have to carry all this alone. If it’s about Cassian, or school, or work, or that mess with the video….whatever it is, I’m not here to judge. I’m here to be your roommate and your friend.”

That word friend made me shrug, a lot of people had claimed to be my friend and I eventually ended up getting stabbed but not like Maya, she has proven herself to me.

I looked down at my food and finally picked up my fork. “Thanks, Maya. I mean it but I don't feel like talking right now.”

She smiled. “No biggie. I’ll even let you wash the dishes next time as repayment.”

I laughed as we both looked at ourselves.