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Eli lives by structure, routine, and emotional restraint. As a university student, he finds comfort in libraries, late-night study sessions, and the certainty of logic. Feelings, especially complicated ones, are easier to ignore. That is, until Noah quietly becomes part of his world. What begins as shared academic spaces and casual conversations slowly turns into something heavier. Lingering glances, accidental touches, and silences charged with meaning begin to unravel Eli’s sense of control. He doesn’t understand the pull toward Noah or why his body reacts before his mind can catch up. Confused and afraid, Eli retreats, creating distance through denial and miscommunication, even as his feelings deepen. Noah remains patient and steady, offering closeness without pressure. As the tension between them builds, Eli is forced to confront the truth he has spent so long avoiding. Set against the quiet intensity of academia, this slow-burn romance explores longing, identity, and the fear of wanting something that feels both forbidden and inevitable.
View MoreChapter 1
Group Assignments and Other Mistakes
Eli Carter hated group projects.
Not because he didn’t work well with others. He did. Too well, actually. He liked control. Schedules. Knowing exactly what was expected of him and meeting it without room for error. Group projects meant variables. People who didn’t pull their weight. People who talked too much or cared too little.
People he couldn’t predict.
So when the professor cleared his throat and said, “This semester-long project will be completed in pairs,” Eli already felt his jaw tighten.
He sat in the second row, notebook open, pen aligned perfectly along the margin. Around him, chairs scraped the floor as students leaned toward friends, whispering names, forming alliances.
Then the list went up on the screen.
Eli scanned for his name.
Carter, Elijah — Reyes, Noah
He blinked once. Then again.
Noah Reyes.
Of course.
Noah sat three rows behind him, slightly to the left. Eli didn’t need to turn around to know what he looked like. He never did. Somehow, he always knew when Noah was nearby, like a shift in the room’s gravity.
They weren’t friends. Not really.
They’d exchanged polite conversation before. Shared notes once. Worked near each other in the library. Noah had an easy way of existing, like he wasn’t trying to impress anyone but still managed to stand out.
Eli told himself he didn’t think about him.
He felt it now, though. That awareness. That uncomfortable tightening in his chest as the professor continued talking, explaining deadlines and expectations Eli already understood.
When class ended, Eli packed his bag quickly. If he left fast enough, maybe—
“Hey. Eli, right?”
The voice was calm. Warm. Too close.
Eli turned.
Noah stood there with his backpack slung over one shoulder, curls slightly messy like he hadn’t bothered fixing them. He smiled. Not wide. Not forced. Just enough.
“Looks like we’re stuck together,” Noah said.
Stuck.
The word landed heavier than it should have.“Yeah,” Eli replied, too quickly. “I mean, yeah. We should probably exchange numbers.”
Noah nodded, pulling out his phone. Their fingers brushed briefly as Eli typed his contact in.
It shouldn’t have mattered.
It did.
Eli stepped back immediately, heart doing something stupid and fast. He hated that reaction. Hated how his body responded before his brain could catch up.
They talked logistics. Meeting times. Preferred study spots. Noah suggested the library café. Eli agreed because saying no felt like effort.
As they walked out together, Eli noticed something else he didn’t like.
The way walking beside Noah felt easy.
Too easy.
The first study session happened two days later.
Eli arrived early, as always. He laid out his materials, color-coded tabs marking different sections of the project. He told himself he was just being efficient.
Noah showed up ten minutes late, slightly out of breath.
“Sorry,” he said. “Lost track of time.”
Eli nodded, even though something sharp twisted in his chest. He didn’t know why it bothered him.
They worked quietly at first. Noah was focused, sharp in a way Eli hadn’t expected. He asked thoughtful questions. Listened. Didn’t interrupt.
Hours passed without Eli noticing.
At some point, Noah laughed softly at something Eli said, and Eli froze.
It wasn’t the laugh itself.
It was the fact that Eli wanted to hear it again.
He shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. This was nothing. Just appreciation. People liked being liked. That was normal.
Right?
When they packed up to leave, Noah hesitated. “Same time tomorrow?”
Eli opened his mouth to say no. To put space between whatever this was becoming.
“Yeah,” he said instead.
That night, Eli lay awake staring at his ceiling.
His thoughts kept circling back to Noah. The way he leaned in when he listened. The way he said Eli’s name like it mattered.
Eli turned onto his side, frustrated.
This was ridiculous.
He’d had crushes before. Girls. He knew what that felt like. This wasn’t that.
This was just admiration. Comfort. Something harmless.
Still, when he imagined Noah choosing a different partner, sitting close to someone else, laughing like that,
Eli’s chest ached.
He pressed his palm against it, breathing slowly.
“Get it together,” he whispered to the dark.
Because whatever this feeling was,
it wasn’t in the syllabus.And Eli had no idea how to study for it.
Latest chapter
DEADLINES AND HEARTBEATS Too Close to Ignore
Eli had been walking on autopilot all day, pretending everything was normal. Pretending that the tight knot in his chest didn’t exist. Pretending that the flutter in his stomach when Noah leaned slightly closer, or laughed softly, or brushed against him by accident, wasn’t slowly consuming him.But today, pretending wasn’t enough.It started in the library, as usual. Eli arrived early, choosing the farthest corner from Noah. He stacked his notebooks neatly, opened his laptop, and put on headphones. Safe. Controlled. Distant. Perfect.Noah arrived fifteen minutes later, sliding into the seat across from him. He didn’t smile. He didn’t comment. He just opened his laptop, calm and patient.Eli kept his gaze glued to his notes. He could feel Noah’s presence, calm and steady, but his proximity made Eli’s chest ache with every breath he took. Every subtle movement of Noah’s—the way he stretched his shoulders, the soft hum he sometimes made when concentrating—twisted something inside Eli he
Last Updated : 2026-01-07DEADLINES AND HEARTBEATS Distance Feels Safer
Eli had always liked control. That was what made him organized, precise, and reliable. He liked knowing where he stood, what he felt, and what to expect.Noah had upended that.Since the café incident, Eli had been avoiding him. Not ignoring him completely—he was too aware for that—but keeping a careful distance, speaking in clipped sentences, avoiding eye contact whenever he could.And it hurt.It hurt more than he wanted to admit.That afternoon, Eli arrived early at the library. He took the corner spot by the window, far from Noah, even though it meant less natural light and a worse view. His bag was neatly arranged, his notebooks stacked, everything in order. Perfect control. Safe distance.Noah arrived ten minutes later, sliding into the seat across from him. He didn’t smile. He didn’t comment. He just opened his laptop, giving Eli space.Eli kept his head down, pretending he was completely absorbed in his work. But he felt Noah’s presence. Every breath, every slight movement mad
Last Updated : 2026-01-07DEADLINES AND HEARTBEATS Close Enough to Break
Eli hated group projects. But he hated the library more.Not because it was crowded, or because of the constant hum of typing and whispering. He hated it because it had become the place where his chest ached and his mind refused to stop spinning.Noah was already there, perched on the edge of the long wooden table, headphones around his neck, laptop open. He looked up briefly as Eli approached, a small smile tugging at his lips.Eli’s stomach twisted. He wanted to return the smile, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. Not today.“Morning,” Noah said softly.“Morning,” Eli replied, stiffly.Noah shifted his chair slightly to make room. Their knees brushed as Eli slid into his spot. Eli froze, heat rising into his face. He wanted to pull away, but it was too late. The contact was brief, a fluke, and yet it sent something sharp, restless, through his chest.He focused on his notebook, jotting down notes and formulas, trying to drown out the thought of Noah beside him. But every glance, every subt
Last Updated : 2026-01-07DEADLINES AND HEARTBEATS The Wrong Kind of Jealousy
Eli didn’t want to admit it, but the week had changed something inside him.He noticed Noah everywhere. In the library. On campus paths. Even in the way sunlight fell across a hallway, reminding him of the way Noah had been standing there, laughing with someone else. It wasn’t just noticing—it was a pull he didn’t understand, one he refused to name.And it terrified him.He told himself it wasn’t jealousy. Jealousy was for people who wanted to be with someone already. He didn’t want to be with Noah. He was just… appreciating him. That’s all.Right?Eli walked into the campus café later that afternoon, backpack slung over one shoulder. The aroma of coffee hit him, but he barely noticed it. He scanned the room instinctively.Noah was already there, sitting at a table with Mark, one of their classmates. They were laughing softly, heads bent together over a laptop screen.Eli froze. His chest tightened.He hadn’t expected to see them, yet he had.Something twisted sharply inside him. It w
Last Updated : 2026-01-07
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