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DEIMOS POV: The Burning Ground
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2021-09-29 03:11:42She wanted to hasten everything and we stood on thin ice once more, snapping our teeth at each other with a wave of outrage. She was always expecting me to understand her but she never once returned that from her side. What about what I wanted? I was not ready to be a father for I was only learning how to be a moral mate to her.
But the way she looked at me it was as though it had been what she had yearned for all her life. To have a family of her own, who was I to deny that? Was it not my duty to her, to give her that life?
I did not think I would be a good father, I did not want to raise my pup as my father bred me. I was worried I would end being the same as him. I wanted time before I could speak with her on the topic of having pups but she thought I was unconditionally against the idea.
It was not true, I too wanted to see my female's belly swollen with my pup snoring within. I too did not have a family growing up and I despairingly needed laughter and joy
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It was not an effortless decision for it would come with a price. And that price delayed my path of action. I knew the pack would go against me and I knew I would have to execute numerous of my warriors and that fact chained me once more.It felt as though I was spitting on father's grave, I was destroying everything he trained me growing up. I wondered if he saw me as shameful, I wondered if he deemed me as his male no more for if he were alive my father would have reprimanded my choices.That permanent state of hell I was in, that confusion I abhorred it. I was stuck I could not move, annihilating your wolves as an Alpha meant the moon would sentence me for it, she would have to take something from me and I sweated it would be Lumina or Kal.But observing my female living in discomfort each day because of my discretions, I could not follow it anymore. I could not withstand it so I stood on that stage and I declared the end of the tradition hoping it would pave
DEIMOS: The Alpha's Unchosen Mate DEIMOS POV: Birth & Death
Whilst the females moved an unconscious Lumina to the other room, Elriam was generous to place the pup in my trembling awaiting hands. It was a male, yet there was no happiness from my side mere neutralness for I had lost someone dear to me. It was a day of birth and death, birth of my male the death of me.The reason I had feared to love her had come to stand haughtily in my reality, Lumina wanted to leave me. She spewed heartless words to my face of how I disgusted her, of how she rebuked our bond that we were no more as one.She said she could live without me with such ease as I tensed my jaw and took her strikes for I earned it. I deserved each blow of her whip as it peeled the skin off my bones.Then she changed. She became a female I could not recognize, our relationship had blazed to ashes there was nothing left between us. She left a trail behind with torn pieces of herself that I often secretly bent to pick up and lay in my treasure box.
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But that was no choice to me, it seemed as though I was once more standing on that bridge. Life or death. I wanted to choose death, I would have rather fallen than betray either of them.The tradition of the chosen did not seem to hinder me even after I met Lumina for I had thought I would never fall in love with her. Yet I did I was in love with her unconditionally, she stood first in line among my every other duty. She was my priority in many ways.How could I touch another female other than Lumina? The image of it had me gag as it left a foul taste on my tongue. I was not that kind of a male, I promised to be loyal to her until the moon called for me.I was lost for I did not know much of the laws of the tradition so I requested Ragon to aid me to attain loopholes or ways I can tiptoe around it without harming any wolf. It was a tradition that had run smoothly in our pack for generations with no Alpha ever going against it and I did not want to be th
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I could not think, I could not feel. A sudden sense of coldness lured me into its cave. I knew if I stayed I would hurt her with the vengeance of my words so I chose to abandon her in that aloof house until the turmoil of my heart and mind rested.Yet when I had returned I was greeted with something I did not wait for, she leapt into my arms caressing flesh pecking me all over my face showing her profound affection for me as she begged for me to forgive her. And I could not fight her, how could I have when she glanced at me that way?So I asked her to do something for me that I found arduous to do. To bare her soul to me and she had accepted with no reluctance. She taught me that I must soar above my walls and unveil myself to her eyes as well and I guaranteed her that I would with time.After a while, Lumina got sick fatally sick and I fretted the pill had done something to her. I often conversed with Giovanni's healer every night after I put my female to sleep
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The goddess took her time with me as she kept me caged up for a while and on her chosen day she surprisingly tossed me back to my physical being as though she found no use to bother with me anymore.I do not remember distinctly the events that unfolded after I had awoken, it was all a haze of sounds, scents and movements. But what I do recall was the way the eyes of my female lightened as she examined me. She looked as though I had breathed life back into her and I was perplexed. I was the one who had been in a coma yet why did my moon blessed resemble a corpse as well?Was she not eating, was she not sleeping? Judgment took its time to settle within me. Lumina was not living, she was merely existing and that too not for her sake but mine hoping that I would wake up and embrace her one day. With everything Ragon had revealed to me of her lifeless days, my heart burned with tribulation.My fault, I was once more to blame for giving her that experience. Testifying
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She wanted to hasten everything and we stood on thin ice once more, snapping our teeth at each other with a wave of outrage. She was always expecting me to understand her but she never once returned that from her side. What about what I wanted? I was not ready to be a father for I was only learning how to be a moral mate to her.But the way she looked at me it was as though it had been what she had yearned for all her life. To have a family of her own, who was I to deny that? Was it not my duty to her, to give her that life?I did not think I would be a good father, I did not want to raise my pup as my father bred me. I was worried I would end being the same as him. I wanted time before I could speak with her on the topic of having pups but she thought I was unconditionally against the idea.It was not true, I too wanted to see my female's belly swollen with my pup snoring within. I too did not have a family growing up and I despairingly needed laughter and joy
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