Let's Pretend

We pull up into our driveway. Our house looks normal, look as if no one is home. I take my belt off and open the car door. I stand and stare at our house; I close the door behind me and wait for my Mum. 

“There you go sweetheart, home sweet home.” She says happily. 

I look over to her and back at the house. I can’t help but feel something is a bit off. My Mum walks in front towards the door, I follow not far behind her. She puts her key in the door, unlocks it and opens it. 

“Go on Kil, you go first,” she says. 

I look at her and look at the dark hallway. Something isn’t adding up. I take a few steps inside and turn the hallway light on. Looks pretty much normal. I continue down the hallway with my Mum close behind. I open the living room door. 

“SURPRISE!” everyone shouts. 

The room was full of people, family. Banners saying ‘Get well soon’ and ‘welcome back home’ My Mum plan a surprise home party. My Gran, Grandpa, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends galore. 

“Well, I wasn’t expecting this.” I say. 

“Do you like it?” she asks. 

“Yeah, I’m just... speechless.” I say. 

I look over at my Gran, who signals to come over to her. I look at my Mum and she nods. I walk over to her. I feel like I don’t want to. I don’t want anyone here. 

“Hello darling! Take your hood down.” My Gran says. She takes my hood down and put her hand on my face. 

“Oh my poor darling, you look so poorly” she continues. I look poorly? How can I look poorly? 

“Do I?” I ask. 

“Yes. You look awfully pale and around your eyes look red as if they’re irritated” she says worryingly. 

“I’m fine, Gran, don’t worry.” I reply. 

Next thing I know, my friends run over and take a selfie with me. I get a bit irritated, it’s not something to celebrate that I’m messed up. 

“I’m just going to the bathroom...” I say to my Gran and friends. 

I turn to the door and Lockie jumps in front of me. 

“Where are you going, Kil?” he asks. 

“To the bathroom, you don’t need to know where I’m going.” I say. I nuzzle him to the side and go through the door. I slowly shut it behind me. 

This is overwhelming. Why would she do this! I feel the anger building. I rush upstairs to the bathroom. I open the door and quickly shut it behind me. I click the lock and sit on the floor; I put my face in my hands. 

“Why have they done this?” I retort. 

“Because they’re pushing you,” a voice says. 

I look up and see the other me stood there. He is acting like a cool person with his foot behind him on the bath. 

“Seems like they’re pushing me to show my true side.” I laugh.

“You’re already there, Kill” he says. I smile.

I feel that this is as crazy as I can get with this condition but, it’s not actually that bad. I love the feeling. 

“Imagine, I could make this entire party a bloodbath,” I say with a grin. 

“Yes Kill! Yes, you can!” he says in an insane tone. 

I put my hand in my pocket; I forgot I have emergency medication in there. Suddenly I felt I needed to take it for my family. As much as I love the feeling of being a bit crazy I need to be getting better to be home permanently. 

“I’m sorry.” I say to the other me. I opened my meds and shook out 2 pills and threw them into my mouth. I stood up and ran the tap, I put my mouth under and get a mouthful of water to swallow my pills. 

Knock, knock 

“Kil, are you ok?” my Mum asks through the door.

A weird feeling happens; I can’t remember why I’m in here but I just laughed in relief. I had my pill tub in my hand, so it gives me an idea. 

“Yes, Mum, I’m fine,” I say happily. 

“I’ve just took my second dose of meds, I feel a lot better,” I continue. 

“Open the door, sweetheart.” She says.

I slowly unlock the door and open it. My Mum was stood there with tears in her eyes and an enormous smile on her face. 

“Come here, darling, give me a hug.” She says.

I rush towards her and swing my arms around her. She wraps her arms around me and strokes my hair. I feel loved and happy... I feel tears in my eyes too. 

“Thank you Mum; I love you so much!” I cry. 

“I love you too, darling. I’m so glad your medication works as quick as the doctor said it would. I’m so proud of you for taking them when you got to that point” she says happily. 

“Got to what point?” I say as I slowly pull away. 

“Hun, you must have gone into a mild rage frenzy, but a part of you told you to take your medication!” she says happily. 

“And that is good?” I ask.

She nods and gives me another hug. I feel I am making her proud in a weird way. I don’t remember even getting home though, that’s the scary part. 

“What time did we get home?” I ask.

My Mum pulls away from me and look at me worriedly. She grabbed both my hands and put them together inside hers. 

“You don’t remember getting home, darling?” she asks. 

“No? I just remember being here in the bathroom. Why, what have I missed?” I ask. 

She gets more worried. I don’t blame her as usually my rage frenzy’s are short and sweet. It happens in one place and I come around in the same place, but why do I not remember from the hospital? 

“Come on. Let’s go downstairs, your Gran and Grandpa are here, all your family and friends.” She explains. 

“Really? What are we waiting for then? Let’s go!” I shout excitedly.

I sprint downstairs and into the living room everyone is talking, eating and drinking. 

“Yo! Penny! Wade!” I shout. They both turn and look at me and smiled. 

“Hey Kil! You feeling ok now? You look like a zombie when you arrived.” Penny asks. 

“Yeah, I feel great!” I reply. 

“Nice one man! Want me to grab one of my beers?” Wade asks. 

“Sure man!” I say.