Chapter 1. The brother I shouldn't want

I broke up with Mark on a Tuesday.

And by Monday, I wanted his brother.

I know how that sounds. Trash.

Shameless. But listen first before you judge me.

Mark didn't cheat. He didn't beat me. He was a good guy. For eight months, he was perfect. He said "I love you" every night before he slept.

"I love you, Sandra," he would say on the phone.

"I love you too," I would say back. But my chest was empty. I was saying it because it was time to say it, not because I felt it.

So on Tuesday, I ended it.

"So that's it?" Mark asked. His voice was too calm. Like he already knew.

"That's it," I said. "We want different things "Okay."

Just okay. No begging. No drama. He hung up.

I should have felt free. Instead, I felt like a thief. Like I had stolen eight months from a good man.

My best friend Chioma came to my house in Diobu that evening with suya and malt.

"You did the right thing," she said, chewing. "If you don't love am, you don't love am."

"I know," I said. "But why does doing the right thing feel so bad at night?"

She didn't have answer.

For three days I did healing things. I deleted pictures. I walked. I drank water. I minded my business.

Until I remembered the video call. Two months ago, Mark was cooking and laughing.

"Look, my brother cooks pass me," Mark said and flipped his camera.

And there he was.

Plain white shirt. Sleeves folded. Stirring a pot of soup. He looked up at the camera, saw me, and gave me a small, soft smile.

"Oga leave me, you dey disturb me," he said to Mark.

His voice was deep. Calm.

I only saw him for five seconds. I said "Hi" quickly and looked away. Because that's Mark's brother. Off-limits.

But I never forgot that smile.

Six days after my breakup, 1 AM, PH heat was killing me and I was scrolling T****k like a mad woman. And FYP decided to ruin my healing A guy dancing while his jollof rice was steaming.

Same white shirt. Same smile. Caption:

"Sunday rice with Joshua."

My heart jumped. Stupid heart.

I screenshotted it and sent it to Amara, Mark's cousin who linked me and Mark before.

"Amara, is this Joshua? Mark's brother?"

She replied in 2 seconds: "Yess! How you know am??"

"Mark showed me once," I typed. Then before my brain could stop my hand, I added: "He fine sha."

She sent 10 laughing emojis. "LMAO

Sandra! You and Mark don break up na, you free to look now."

"I no dey look jare," I lied. "You want his number? He no dey do I* o, but I get his W******p."

My heart was beating like drum in Diobu market.

My brain said: SANDRA! You broke up with his brother SIX DAYS ago. Have shame!

My other brain said: You are single now.

Single girls can collect number. It's not a crime.

I stared at her message for seven minutes.

My finger was shaking.

Then I typed one word: "Send."

She sent it immediately.

Joshua K.

+234 80...

I saved it as Joshua K.

I did not text that niaht. I put mv nhone face down like a holy girl.

•l 5G

(25

But I did not sleep.

The next morning, 9:13 AM, my room was hot and my phone light was on.

I opened W******p. Typed "Hi" - deleted it. Typed "Hey, is this Joshua?" - deleted it. Typed "Sorry, your cousin gave me your number" - deleted it.

What will I even say? Hi, I'm your brother's ex and I can't stop thinking about your smile? Stupid.

I boiled water for tea. My hand was still shaking.

Okay, Sandra, new plan: Today you will NOT text him. Today you will heal. Today you will be decent.

I was about to lock my phone and be decent, when my phone buzzed.

It was an UNKNOWN number. I opened it.

"Hi. This is Joshua. Mark's brother. Amara said you wanted to talk to me?"

My heart stopped.

He texted first.