005

Lindsay

Was he playing with me? Does he think I am that dumb? Just because he is a Gunther doesn’t mean he will easily lie to me, and I would just believe it.

I had heard the workers talking about it and wanted to confirm it for myself until I heard Engel speaking to his mother; he agreed to look into finding another wife.

God, I feel like a fool!

Five years, all gone. I had a choice not to go ahead and love him, but I blew it, all because he is charming, and that smile of his, by heavens, it would melt the whole of Antarctica even.

"Lindsay, is there something wrong? Where did you get such information from?" Engel caught up to me in the room when I tried to undress, he asked.

"You already said you knew nothing; why then should you be bothered?"

"Because you are bothered,"

I raised my head to meet his eyes, those damn eyes, very innocent-looking, that made me question if I was overreacting; he knows how to play it well, the perfect victim.

I knew him better than he knew himself.

There is a reason he is called the Devil. He knows well how to play that victim role and keep to his good name.

I heaved, holding back the harsh words I was about to say to him. "Your mother approached me today at your father’s death anniversary. Do you know what she first said to me for someone who should be mourning…? I bit the tip of my lips to hold back the tears that were itching to fall.

"There is no need to listen to anything that she says; don’t pay attention to them."

My face squeezed, I couldn't believe my ears; did he not see that I was in pain? How long am I going to ignore it?

This did prove one thing: Engel is self-aware of his surroundings and everything in between but has chosen to be ignorant so he wouldn’t have to deal with it.

"Fuck you!!!" I screamed at his face, throwing my dress at him, "Five years! Five godforsaken years! What didn’t I do? I have ignored, adjusted, readjusted, and done everything humanly possible. Where are your own sacrifices? What have you done for me?" My eyes widened in despair as I repeatedly beat my chest.

Engel grabbed my hand to stop me from hurting myself. I pushed him away; I just wasn’t done with him.

Tonight, I lost myself; I was no longer the quiet wife that had to sit through all of those pains just for her husband to come home and utter the words ‘I love you’ like it was so damn easy to do, loving someone.

"We have been married for two years, and those two years have been a living hell for me. While you sat there being quiet and blind, I had been told to get pregnant; each month I took the test. Where were you? Where?! You only ever come back home to have sex with me, not even to make love..."

My voice was starting to fail me; feeling the weight, I decided to shake it off by pacing around.

Engel had stood there silent; he knew I was right, so he didn’t try to defend himself.

"Where is the man I married? Or was it all just a sham? Now you want to get married to another woman, all because I can’t get pregnant. How wonderful. Such a nice way to spit on my face, Engel," I ran on regardless of the fact I was the only one speaking.

Engel was defenseless, or maybe being the gentleman, allowing me to vent my anger in peace.

I sat on the bed, and said nothing, needing the time to cool off.

Seeing that I was much calmer, Engel had made a move to leave the room, still not defending himself.

This is what his silence felt like to me; it was much heavier than rejection, and it killed me.

He should have said something, apologized and made me see that he truly does care.

But what does that matter? I have chosen to set him free.

As he reached for the door, I broke it to him, "My lawyer will reach out to you," I stated. I know he was smart enough to understand.

Engel did, as I never expected the dark eyes that became fixated on me at that moment; he refused to say anything; rather, his actions did.

Engel slammed the door as he walked out, the whole room shaking from the impact.

I breathed a sigh of relief; the first part of freedom was concluded.

My phone beeped from my purse as I took it out; it was my doctor calling.

"Hello,"

"Lindsay, I wanted to say that I am sorry," Anthony started.

"Sorry? What did you do?" I asked casually as I got up to pick up the dress I had thrown at Engel's face earlier.

"It is your test results; the blood samples at the lab got mixed up, and yours was recorded for someone else," Anthony explained.

So?

I hope it wasn’t what I was thinking.

"I know this is too late, but the test results came out positive."

"Positive? I doubt Anthony; I did do another test elsewhere, and it came out negative. I am not pregnant," I said, sounding sure.

"Can you come over tomorrow? I don’t mind running another test for you; it will be free," Anthony assured.

I didn’t even want to know; like he said, it was already late. I just ended things with Engel right now; how then am I to tell him I am pregnant?