CHP 5

GRACE

The look on Damon's face sent me spiraling.

“I…no…I” I stuttered, not sure what to say or how to move past this. I looked away from him, first towards the ground and then towards the opened window. 

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. His stare felt like lasers piercing through my skin, demanding for secrets that I was unsure of letting out.

I tried to keep looking away from him but that soon seemed impossible because of the intensity of his stare so I turned to him. I immediately wished that I had not because the look on his face sent me spiraling even more. 

I really shouldn't care! The look on his face should not concern me in any way but for some reason it affected me in ways that felt embarrassing.

He looked hurt. It was the sadness that was masked with anger. Even with how much anger I could feel from him, the sadness was undeniable.

I was starting to feel bad for causing him to feel the way he was feeling but then I reminded myself that he deserved no sympathy. 

This inhumane beast was the one who killed my mother! Because of him, I had to grow up without a mother, I had to go through life not knowing what it feels like to be loved by a mother. 

I was starting to feel horrible for agreeing to be my father's spy but that sympathy soon morphed into rage. This rage was directed at both him and myself.

 I should not have to remind myself to hate him! I should hate him with every fiber of my being! My hatred for him should be one that leaves no room for any other feeling aside from hatred!

I felt angry at myself… I hated myself for not hating him as fully as I should. I hated that I had felt that tiny sliver of empathy for this beast. He is a selfish beast, he does not deserve anything other than pain and suffering.

“You are a spy?” He asked again this time with much more conviction than the last time. This time it sounded a lot more like a confirmation than a question, this time his anger was a less more obvious than it had been. In place of his anger with a silent sadness, a subtle disappointment, as if he had never imagined in a million years that I would betray him. 

I scoffed.

“Trust me if I was a spy, you would only find out by the sting of a knife buried deep into your back,” I said menacingly through our wolf link and then attempted to walk away from him.

 Anywhere but here! I'd rather be anywhere but here, being next to him makes my heart beat at an unnatural pace. Standing this close to him makes my head swirl in an abnormal way. I could hardly think, could barely focus but somehow I had to keep pretending that he does not affect me.

 Somehow I have to stand toe-to-toe unflinchingly next to him. I have to somehow prove to him that I am not scared of him, I have to somehow not flinched even though my knees feel as soft as jelly.

I grabbed my purse from the nearby table and attempted to head out. Before I could take another step from where I was, he pulled me to himself. The impact of his pull caused me to lose my balance. I gasped in shocked, my eyes were closed as I prepared myself to land painfully on the ground. I was so sure that I would fall but then I felt Damon's hand on my lower back, he was leaning towards me, he was too close, his face only a few inches from mine. 

My heart thudded rapidly in my chest, I wanted to move away from his grasp but for some reason I could not get my body to move. For some reason, my legs did not obey me when I instructed it to move away from Damon's grasp. My hands held on to his shoulder like he was the oxygen I needed to survive.

He leaned in closer, my heart thumped even more. My eyes were closed but I could feel like breath on me, I felt it on my ear. I sucked in air and struggled to breathe, reminding myself to take in oxygen and let out carbodioxide.

“There is nothing I enjoy more than breaking defiant girls like you,” he whispered. My eyes flew open, every single ounce of tenderness that had been on his face disappeared, in its place was a steel cold stare.

“This was supposed to be an easy process but since you want to take make it difficult, I'm going to show you just how ruthless I can be,” he said, grabbed me by my upper arm and dragged me through the large hall back to the room where everyone else was gathered.

His hand pressed deep into my skin, I bit my lower lip, trying my best not to give him the pleasure of showing him how much he was hurting me but soon I could no longer take the pain.

“You are hurting me,” I said. He ignored me and instead kept pulling me through the crowd who were already starting to mumble and stare in our direction.

I looked downwards towards the ground as I tried to avoid their pointed stares. I could hear them mumbling things, i could hear them snickering and scoffing at me. The whole gathering seemed to be on a pause, they all seemed to be staring at Damon and I.

Damon pulled me towards the side, without another word he pushed me away from him, I fell to the ground, my knees grazes the ground, my skin broke open and the blood seeped out. My eyes watered, the tears fell.

“Take her to the Dungeon!” Damon yelled to the servant by his side.

“She'd learn what happen to people who defile me,” he added. The collective gasps from everyone around made me realize that whatever was about to happen would be horrible.