Dear Diamond

Beginnings have always been something I loved. The beginning of a new year, new season, a new chapter in your life and all of that crap but ever since my pathetic incident everything in my life became cold. I mean I pretty much lack any form of emotion right now. Yeah, that's how bad it was but I'm not really going to delve into that right away. 

Let me tell you a little bit, just a tiny bit about myself. So, my name is Alexa Whittier and I'm seventeen years old. I like dissecting animals, mostly insects and small creatures I find in my backyard and I'm homeschooled. I mean that's what I'll tell someone my age but I haven't spoken to anyone my age or around it. 

Also, I don't really like socializing, I hardly even talk to my parents, I don't think many teens do. On many occasions, I can be found in my room reading a book or researching advanced technology. However, sometimes the more adventurous side of me would crawl out of my window to either look for some critters or just nap in a tree.

I also like to believe that I have many personalities which I think I do but I know how to control them very well. Sometimes I get really violent and angry, other times I become social enough to have a little chat with my parents. 

I know how to do a lot of things. I'm basically good at any craft you can imagine. My favourite sports are basketball and swimming and I'm awesome at them. Sadly these are the things that no one will ever get to know about me and this is the side of me no one will ever get to see and I don't mind. My parents don't even know I can do most of these things that's because I have a whole wing of the mansion to myself that's equipped with everything I could possibly need. 

I have tutors that come around once in a while but most of the time I'm mute. They don't really like the fact that I don't talk. At one point my parents thought I was deaf and dumb and they went to the extent of hiring someone that would be able to communicate with me. I just laughed really loudly and walked away to let them know I'm perfectly fine. 

Anyways you've all gotten to know this much about me however there is more but I'll like to stop here for now. Later on, all those other parts would be unravelled. I know you can't wait. So, back to reality...

January 5th 2035,

I used to like beginnings, meeting new people, trying new things but not anymore. I'm just sick and tired of my pathetic life. I've befriended death so many times but he just keeps rejecting me. Life hasn't been kind either so I don't know, I'm just living in my own world hanging between life and death waiting patiently for one to just embrace me and be good to me. Oh well, seems like that's not gonna happen anytime soon. 

After a very arduous day of my research on the skin and art history, I decided to paint. Painting is one of the ways I relax and calm myself down whenever I'm stressed or tense. I pick up my brush, prime my canvas and start painting. I don't really plan what I paint, I just paint.

............

Two relaxing hours of painting and I'm finally done. I take a few steps back and admire my painting. It's a painting of a silhouette embracing someone that looks like me from behind. Weird, I scoff. I flop down on my bed, pick up my laptop and start programming from where I stopped the last time. I connect my wireless headphones to the laptop and listen to some soft classical music. Ah, bliss.

Some minutes after I hear a knock on my door. Alert I sit up and listen again. 

"No one ever knocks on my door, I mean why not just use the intercom," I say to myself as I squint my eyes. I hear the knock again. Quickly I get up from my bed and run towards the door.

Slowly and quietly I open it only to find my parents whispering to themselves. I open the door wider as this causes them to stop and look at me. 

"Hello darling," my mother says as she smiles at me, my dad also smiles like he hasn't seen me for ages I don't blame him. I smile a half-smile at both of them as I let them into my room. 

This is the first time they've ever been here, well, the first time anyone has ever been here apart from me. They're so amazed at how the room looks. My mother looks at me with adoring eyes and she starts to cry while my dad comforts her. 

I frown at the both of them and clear my throat. 

"What do you want?" I say loudly as this grabs their attention.

"I'm sure you didn't come to my room to cry your heart out and drench my floor," I say very harshly. This causes them to straighten up. 

My mum wipes her face with her hands and smiles at me as she says

"Um, Alexa darling, we've just come to tell you that you'll resume your new school on Monday," she pauses to sniffle, "and we'll be checking it out tomorrow". 

She smiles at me again. I just stand there with my mouth and eyes wide open. For seven good years I've been homeschooled and all of a sudden I'm going to be attending a real school. 

"Alexa," my dad says softly. "Alright then, have a good rest darling, we'll be heading out pretty early tomorrow morning," he finally says after a long pause as he leaves my room with my mother.

I'm still standing in the middle of my massive room spaced out. What just happened? What is going on? This can't be. I haven't left this house for seven years, this place that has become everything to me. I don't know if I can go to a real school. I don't know how to do anything. I can't socialize to save myself, I don't know if I'll be too dumb or too smart for the school I'm going to. Oh Lord please help me!!!!.

"What the actual hell," I finally say to myself.