45 Setups for Myself

The next day, we headed to the beach to spend the day with Nazar and his kids.

My mom was over the moon that I, all on my own, without her lectures and pressure, took Kirill with me to the river. Happiness and tender pride for her children were practically glowing on her satisfied face. Not so much on Kirill’s.

“Why haven’t you dumped that guy yet?” the brat grumbled unhappily the moment we stepped out of the house. “You asked me to help and play along, and in the end…”

“Oh, quit whining,” I shoot back in the same tone as we get into the car. “Besides, he turned out not to be what I first thought. He’s actually a decent guy, and it’s nice talking to him.” At that, my brother rolled his eyes so hard they nearly hit the ceiling.

“Then why don’t you tell this decent guy about your real job?” he snarked.

“It’s complicated,” I sigh. “For now, I’m just interested in talking to him, so play along with me. Is it really that hard for you?”

“If you like him that much, then explain everything and start dating like normal people!” the kid snaps, not seeing the problem.

“I don’t date. And I don’t do serious relationships.”

“Then what’s the point of all this?” he doesn’t get it. “He’s drooling all over you, and you like him. Why do adults make everything so damn complicated?!”

“I don’t know! Just drop it already! Stop drilling my brain!” I snap, finally fed up with the lecture. And from who? Some little runt! What the hell does he even understand?

“Anyway, he’s shady. I don’t trust him,” the kid says thoughtfully, staring out the window.

“And I’m better, right?” I laugh, glancing at him, and he just sighs in response.

We arrived early and picked a good spot by the water. While we were settling in, Nazar’s whole crew came over.

Honestly, I wasn’t fully prepared for what I saw. Sure, I tried to imagine what the brunet looked like without clothes, but reality… made my mouth flood with saliva, heat rush to all the right places, and my toes curl on their own.

How the hell could anyone run away from a man like that?! He’s walking sex! And very, very much my type. I actually got nervous like some schoolgirl, watching this god undress, his tattooed muscles playing under the sun. I wanted to be that sun, just to touch and stroke every inch of that incredible body.

His arms, back, and torso all the way up to his neck were a damn masterpiece from some insanely talented tattoo artist.

Do they even make fathers of three like this? Nazar just smashes every stereotype I have to pieces. I’ve never seen a specimen like this in real life. Hell, even some naughty grandmas were batting their eyes at him!

The day at the beach turned out fun as hell. I hadn’t relaxed like that in ages, and despite the obvious lies, I was actually being myself. Once again, I saw just how much this man loves his kids. Half the time he was in the water with them, splashing around and fooling around. Then he’d run off to get them ice cream, play ball, braid Soli’s hair.

This almost never happens to me, but I genuinely started to admire him. Hell, let’s be honest, I actually like Nazar. As a man, as a father, as someone to talk to. His piercing green eyes stir something strange in me, something restless. And sometimes he looks at me in a way that sends shivers down my spine, makes me want to jump on him and do all kinds of sinful things.

With every meeting, I realize I’m falling for Nazar more and more. It scares the hell out of me, but I can’t do a damn thing about it and keep seeing him anyway.

Maybe we can have a relationship without a relationship… I want him, and there’s no point denying it. I wouldn’t mind being friends with benefits with him. He’s the first man I’d agree to do that with regularly. He’s always in my thoughts, and seeing him has become my addiction.

My lies keep dragging me deeper and deeper, pulling me under, but… I like living in this moment so much that stopping it feels like cutting off my own oxygen.

For the first time in years, I feel like I can breathe. Around Nazar, I feel real emotions. I genuinely laugh, enjoy myself, admire, trust, feel that flutter in my chest and that long-forgotten excitement. With every meeting, I feel just how similar we are. Even though I don’t understand how that’s possible, because we’re so different.

He invited us over to his place, and we had a great time, played games, talked a lot. Nazar shared his worries about the kids. I’m a shitty advisor, sure, but I honestly wanted to help him, to do at least something good for once, to be useful.

I got so touched by his situation that I didn’t even notice how close he was to me, how intently he was watching. That teasing, tickling feeling spread in my stomach when Nazar moved closer. It felt like I was about to step off a height into the unknown… and I wanted it so damn badly.

Everything happened too fast. Like two magnets with opposite poles, we crashed into each other in a fierce kiss.

God, the way he kisses… Usually I’m not into that kind of thing, because kisses are more intimate to me than sex itself. And most guys just try to fuck my mouth with their tongue. But with Nazar, it’s insanely sensual, greedy, pleasant, and deeply promising. My veins feel like molten lava, a haze of consuming desire mixed with a trembling excitement. I want to submit to his pressure, let him lead… just to take control later and switch roles.

If not for the microwave beeping, we would’ve crossed the line right there on that kitchen island, with a bunch of kids in the next room. And it’s not like my desire was kicking me out of reality. Pure, uncontrollable instincts, overriding common sense.

And I like it. My selfish side insists we should become lovers. I don’t think Nazar has fully let go of his wife or stopped feeling anything for her. Those photos all over the house aren’t just for the kids, but for him too. For some reason, that annoys me and makes me angry at that blonde. And while he’s still hung up on her, I can become a little comfort for him. A comfort he needs… and so do I. No feelings, no attachment, just good physical chemistry.

That’s the setup I made for myself…