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“Anya…”

“I… I…” my beloved stammers, lowering her gaze and blinking rapidly. “You guys… have fun without me. I need to go home right now… I don’t feel good. I…”

“Anya!” I grab her shoulders and shake her lightly, forcing her to look at me. I do not like what’s happening to her. Not one fucking bit.

“I… I…” her eyes shine with tears, filled with such pain that it makes me feel sick too. The brunette can’t even form a sentence anymore, and she starts trembling.

“Fuck!” I curse. “Kids, sorry, we need to go home.”

Seeing Anya’s condition, the kids didn’t argue at all, only exchanged worried glances. I grabbed Ann and Luka by the hand, and we headed for my car.

We drove in silence.

My beloved disappeared deep into herself, staring blankly out the window, while the kids tried not to make a sound.

The second we got into the apartment, the smart little brats vanished into their room, while Anya headed straight for our bedroom. I followed right behind her, not even considering leaving her alone.

From the bedroom she walked into the bathroom and tried to lock herself in, but I stopped the door.

“Ann, talk to me!” I plead, but all I get in return is a cold, sharp, angry stare.

“Why?” she answers distantly. “Why do you need to crawl into my soul?!” In an instant she explodes with desperate anger and rejection. “In a month we’ll split up, you’ll need to forget me, and I’ll need to forget you! Stop making life harder for both of us!”

Whoa.

What the fuck kind of statement is that?!

“Don’t even dream about it!” I answer directly, no longer planning to dodge around anything. “You’re mine.”

“Hardly!” she lifts her chin proudly, wet with quietly falling tears. “You can’t say that! You don’t know anything about me!”

“And that’s where you’re wrong!” I snap back angrily. “I know you, Anya! More than you can even imagine! Behind all that indifference and sharpness hides an incredibly soft and loving person! I’ve studied you, and I understand your life’s been a giant pile of shit you swallowed by the shovel. I know you, and I want you to finally open up to me…

You love boiled condensed milk but can’t stand caramel candy. To you those are two completely different things that taste nothing alike. You prefer black olives over green ones. You hate sleeping with your hair down and always throw it into a high bun. When you’re nervous, you chew on the thumb of your left hand. And you can’t look at mothers pushing baby strollers without quickly looking away!”

I see that hit the target. Anya lets out a broken sob.

The girl wraps her arms around herself like she’s trying to hide from the entire world, from me, and quietly starts falling apart. She’s shaking, tears streaming endlessly down her beloved cheeks.

I can’t watch that calmly anymore and pull the brunette into my arms, holding her tightly against me.

“Just tell me already!” I beg softly. “You need this… Don’t keep it all inside. Does this have something to do with that guy from the opening?”

“You don’t need me, Nazar,” Ann sobs against my chest. “I’m a horrible person. I did horrible things in the past…”

“I want all of you, and I don’t give a damn about our pasts,” I pull her back slightly so she can see my eyes and understand I mean every word. “But that past led to where we are now, to us meeting each other. I’m not letting you go! You’re carved too deep into my skin! You’re already part of me! And stop lying that I mean nothing to you! Your words might lie, but your body never does, and I notice it. You want to be with me too! Let’s be together, build a family, grow old together, have kids…”

“We won’t have kids!” Anya suddenly screams hysterically through tears. “We won’t, Nazar! No matter how much I want it, we won’t! I can’t become a mother…”