Chapter 4

EMILY

***

“YOU SAW WHO?” Julie shouted.

It was a relief Nila wasn’t in the room, otherwise, she would have given me one of those death stares that made my blood run cold. I was having a weekly face-time call with my best friend, my real best friend, who had been accepted at Yale. We were sad to be separated from each other but we had chosen to make things work despite the distance.

“You heard me the first time. Don’t make me repeat myself,” I said.

“What is Gabriel doing in Cresswell of all places? And in your school?” Julie asked the exact same questions that I had been asking myself since I saw him two days ago.

“I don’t know,” I said, “I don’t even know what to think.”

“Do you think he followed you on purpose? Has he been STALKING you?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Being friends with Julie had been an interesting ride. She was always coming up with worst-case scenarios. No wonder she was a writer, her imagination was so wild.

“None of that matters. Only two things matter right now. If he saw me or if there’s a possibility of him seeing me,” I said.

“Of course, there is,” Julie said, “if he is indeed a student there you know that you’ll see each other. Jock or not, you know how seriously he takes his studies.”

Julie was right. And I hated it.

“What actually matters is what you will choose to do about this,” Julie said, “what do you want to do with the fact that Gabriel Ford has shown up in your life once again?”

I didn’t know. Simply hearing his name made me feel so many feelings at once. There was bitterness and anger and resentment. There was sadness and regret. There was-

“Are you still with me?” Julie asked.

“Sorry,” I said, “I’ll figure it out. Enough about me. How are you doing over there?” Julie caught me up and I was happy to listen, happy to have something to distract me from what felt like the biggest setback of all time.

This was not supposed to happen. We were not supposed to meet ever again. I was supposed to move and keep moving on until he was just a speck in my past, someone I once knew but forgot about.

I ended my call with Julie and spent the rest of the afternoon laying on my bed. I had already finished all my assignments and had already read ahead, so there was nothing else to do. I could read for pleasure, a novel, maybe, but it reminded me of him so I had stopped.

I groaned at the thought that everything that came to mind led me back to him. Why him? Why couldn’t anyone else from Bakersville apply to Cresswell? Why did he have to be the one to come here? Did it mean he and his mom had moved? If so, had Louise contacted my mom? Would they go back to being close friends? What would that mean for Gabriel and me? Surely, they wouldn’t make us hang out together, I mean, we were adults now, who could do what we wanted. Right?

I tossed and turned in my bed trying to get some sleep. I knew a nap wouldn’t fix anything but it would definitely give me a temporary break from my mind that was running wild. I slept through the afternoon and only woke up to the sound of Nila coming into their room.

I woke up and had dinner then went back to sleep. I had a new day waiting for me, a day in which I could run into Gabriel at any given moment.

***

I was making my way to class, but one would think I was running away from something, someone with the way I kept looking over my shoulder. I was keeping my eyes peeled. In case I ran into him. The fact that we were on the same campus didn’t mean we had to meet. I had been telling myself this over and over as I got ready for my classes. He could be doing a whole different course. He could decide to focus on simply being popular and not attending any classes.

God knows he had it in him. He could have just been looking for a school to apply to, I thought. It was too late in the semester for Cresswell to admit him. But I knew that I was lying to myself even as I thought this. Gabriel was here and he was here to stay, and all I could do was find a way to deal with that.

For now, I had chosen to avoid him. I was going to look around for him, and if I saw him anywhere in my vicinity I was going to find somewhere else to go. I would take the longer routes if that’s what it took. In the event that I did meet him, I was planning on acting like I didn’t know him. I would act clueless. If I saw him approaching I would walk past him.

This second option was a bit of a gamble because it depended on Gabriel playing along. I could only walk past if he let me. And I wasn’t sure he would.

Still, I would try. He wouldn’t be offended if I chose to ignore him. We weren’t friends, after all. That part of our lives was in our past now. I got to class early as was my routine and did some light reading as I waited for the lecture to start. I sat at the very front of every class and it was comfortable because few people chose to sit there. I could listen and focus with no interruption.

I was surprised when someone sat in my row, a few seats away from me. I didn’t care enough to look up at who it was. I only hoped he wouldn’t be the annoying type that always asked for something. I was going to ignore him if that was the case.

That was the plan until he spoke up.

“Emily?”