Chapter 1 Refusal

Alice POV

“ I'M NOT GOING!” I yelled as loud as I could even though I knew no one's listening. This mating ball is so important to everyone but me. 

“ Alice, listen to me you are going and that’s final.” My dad said with stern eye contact.

With one loud growl, running up stairs and slamming my bedroom door behind me. I used to be interested in the ball when I was a teenager. But after what happened to my dad when my mom died, I couldn’t . I don’t want to risk the chance of losing a mate. It's painful. You lose yourself and your wolf goes insane. My dad seems to be holding  himself together on the outside, but I know he’s hurting on the inside from losing my mom. Everytime I or anyone in the pack brings her up he gets mad and locks himself up in his room for a week.

*knock knock* 

It smells like lilac and honeydew, with my insanely good werewolf sense of smell I could tell it was Lilly at the door. She took over the mothering role once my mother died, unlike my parents she didn’t boss me around. Just gave me an insane amount of advice and made sure I heard every word she wanted to say. She's in her late 30s and seems to never pass up a teaching lesson when it's presented to her.

“ COME IN” I yelled, sighing knowing she’s about to lecture me. Swinging my door open on que.

“ Now you know you aren’t going to get your way, so you might as well give up and just go. You never know you might meet your mate and you can’t hide from this forever.” Lilly ranted on and on. 

“ I don’t want a mate and you know this.” I huffed already over this conversion before it even started. Rolling her eyes she sits on the edge of my bed next to me.

“ Don’t keep yourself from such joy just because of what happened. You’re an Alpha female, the only one for the last two decades. Plus, your dad would never forgive himself if you use what happened to him and your mom for never finding your mate.”  Lilly’s voice was so soft as she played with my hair 

Looking in the body mirror across from my bed, I hated how right she was. My dad would blame himself for this if I never found my mate or even tried. Sighing, I agreed to go for the sake of my fathers happiness. He read my decision through the mind link and screamed with joy in my head.damnit, i'd do anything for him not to yell in my head again giving me a headache. Lilly helped me get dressed. I tried getting her to join but oracles don’t normally get blessed with a mate. Even though Lilly deserves one way more than I do, after my mom she was the only one to take me under her care and help me from the dark place I was in after losing her. My dad wasn’t around much after she died. He mainly stayed in his room and only left when he needed food. Lilly always told me how much my dad loved me and how when he was better he would leave his room and go back to how things were before. But that never happened. Don’t get me wrong my dad is a great dad as much as he can be of course but he also knows just how to be a pain in my ass when it counts.

  She was all but eager to start getting me ready, she was better at the hair and makeup stuff then i was anyway. If it was up to me I’d go in a hoodie and some spandex shorts with my hair either down or in a messy bun, with little to no makeup on. However that was not how Lilly said i should present myself tonight.She  started by pulling my hair in a tight bun,that didn’t help the headache my father gave me. I do give her props though my hair goes all the way down to my waist. I could never get such a perfect bun without it falling out moments later.Next she did my makeup giving me blue and silver eyeshadow, fake eyelashes that tickled a light amount of blush. Not that I needed it, my face hearts up bright red all on its own. She tried using lipstick but decided against it when I told her I would just lick it off.  The mating ball was considered formal, Everyone wore a different color to separate ranks in the pack. Pack members go in white and black, while the alpha families  wear royal blue and white. Other packs would normally wear coloring that went with their pack specifically. You could always tell the Alpha families apart from the pack members though, pack members tend to dress more casual. I stood there looking in the mirror at myself. I was dressed in a royal blue dress with white trimmed lace around the bottom and a thin white slick trim around the shoulders. The back was open and hung just above my butt, with a thigh high slit at the bottom. The front was low cut exposing the middle of my breasts. This is the most skin I’ve ever shown in my whole life even with a dress that goes all the way down to my feet. My usual clothes consist of hoodies, shorts, jeans, leggings and t-shirts, no dresses, skirts or anything I couldn't get dirty in. The heels are silver that were already hurting my feet, I was ready for this to be over. 

“ You look beautiful Alice. Your mother would be so proud of you dear. But I would prefer it if you didn’t show so much. If your mate is there, he's going to want to kill any male who looks at you.” My dad's voice called out to me from the doorway of my room. Rolling my eyes, I looked at him. His eyes were red and puffy as if he had just been crying. Taking in the fact that he just spoke of mom out loud for the first time in months I can’t help but want to cry but I knew Lilly would kill me if I ruined my makeup. 

My brother standing next to him laughed at my foolishness. My brother is like my best friend even though he can be just as much of a jerk as my dad. I run towards them giving them both a hug. I feel two arms wrap around me and a stray tear runs down my face. 

“Alright let’s get going before I change my mind” I said standing tall pushing past them. If we didn’t leave now I’d be going barefooted and in a hoodie and shorts. I hear them behind me  making fun of my attempt to walk down the stairs in these damn heels. We get two the black SUVs lined up outside the pack house. I feel my heart pounding really fast and my stomach turns a little. I can feel my palms beginning to sweat at how nervous I am.

What if I do find my mate at this ball. I’ve done everything I can to swallow my wolf and keep her from taking over. She is more excited than me to find the one the moon goddess chose for us.  I felt sick to my stomach the whole ride there. My wolf Mia shouted in my head the whole time not to screw this up for us. I shook my head at her lame attempt at assuring me it’s not as bad as it seems. Once the car finally came to a stop my heart started racing again. My breath was fighting and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. The packhouse was only a 20 minute drive from mine but seemed to have taken only 2 minutes this time. I know it's just my nerves talking but something about being here today feels weird. I hesitate giving myself one last pep talk before getting out of the car.

“ Take a deep breath Alice. It’s just a party, don't get so worked up.” My brother Jace mind linked me. He must be able to tell I was on edge. 

“Oh give me a break Alice we are gonna be okay. Our mate is meant to love us, he or she won't hurt us. Your mouth might get us in trouble though if you ruin this.” she huffed in my head rolling her eyes at me

“Oh would you just shut up, you are not helping.” I hissed at her only to have her laugh and retreat to the back of my mind. 

Leaving me alone tonight Mia oh how mature of you. Stepping out of the car I wrapped my arm in his while we walked into the building. Not just because I was nervous but because with these heels Lilly made me wear I was sure to fall on my face trying to walk up these stairs. The pack really out done themselves for this and cars from other packs have already started lining up outside. Packs from all around the world attend these balls in hopes to find their mate. I’ve been able to avoid them when they are being held at other packs' territories, but with it being held at ours this year there was no hiding anymore. Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat we headed up the stairs and threw the first glass double doors. Right when you walk in, my fathers beta and his mate greet you and thank you for joining. Rolling my eyes I let go of Jace wanting to find a place to hide out for the night. With big glass doors behind them you can see the ball room on the left and the pool on the right through another set of glass doors. The pack house was decorated in royal blues and white decorations. With silver chairs and tables spread out all over the ballroom.  Looking around searching for something to drink, I make my way through the crowd of people chatting and dancing to the music. I felt like I was going to faint. Reaching a long table at the far end of the room was covered in food and drinks. Grabbing  a cup from the table, getting a drink that smelled like fruit punch. Knowing these wolves that's not the only thing in the punch. Letting out a long huff, I look around at all the smiling faces and laughter that consumed my pack and others. This is the one night that we all came together and was “okay” with each other for once. We all had the same reasoning for being here, besides me, so there was no need to start any arguments. My brother Jace had already found his mate but they both still attend these things for the free alcohol and food. I swear if it wasn’t for use being werewolves and our high metabolism we’d all be some very obese humans. Chuckling at myself I picked up a cookie and as I was about to take a bite that was when all of a sudden the most intriguing smell reached my nose. I couldn’t make out who it belonged to or even if the person was here. The smell of citrus and mint surrounded me hugging all my senses. It made me smug and calm all at once a feeling I feared the most. 

I rushed for the front exit, hoping to escape before finding out who that scent belonged to. My head was spinning. 

“ Follow that yummy scent, it could be our mate.” Mia  insisted

. I rushed trying to keep control of my wolf as the scent got closer. 

Turning around, checking my surroundings to make sure no one as in my father has noticed that I'm leaving. I must have turned around too fast when I felt myself tripping over my own feet bumping into something hard. Damnit these fucking heels, im going to give Lilly a peace of my mind about these damn things being a safety hazard.Preparing myself to hit the ground, I was shocked when I didn’t. Blinking my eyes a few times opening them with confusion, two strong muscular arms wrapped around me. I looked up and my eyes met a man with bright honey brown eyes,tan skin and slicked back black hair. I didn’t take much time checking him out as I looked into those eyes that never left mine. He’s eyes stared into me as if they were trying to burn a hole into my soul. His touch made my skin feel like it was on fire and my heart was beating so fast. That smell was coming from him. Confusion, fear,and anger all swirled in my head at once. His face turned into concern as if he could feel my emotions. Without thinking I quickly found my balance, releasing myself from his grip and ran.

“ MATE!” My wolf shouted at me to turn back but I couldn’t. 

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