002 | ELARA ELLIS

Dinner is already on the table.

The plates are warm beneath my fingers when I set the last one down, the aroma of the food filling the air as steam rises into it. No one thanks me, no one makes a comment about it, and neither do they even look at me long enough to need to.

Adrian is seated at the head of the table with Vivienne seated beside him, both of them already eating. Theo, on the other hand, is beside his dad too, swinging his legs beneath the chair. He looks restless and bored, already unhappy, but hasn’t touched his food. His eyes keep flicking past me to Vivienne seated beside my husband, who smiles at him softly like she belongs here.

I take my seat.

Just then, Adrian clears his throat. “Eat,” he tells Theo.

Theo scowls almost immediately. “I want dessert.”

“We eat proper food first,” I say, keeping my voice even. “You know that.”

He slams his palm against the table, his lower lip pushed out into a pout. “I don’t want it.”

Vivienne laughs under her breath before dropping her cutlery. “It’s just a little sweet,” she says gently, her gaze on Theo. “One won’t hurt. Right, my dear?”

He nods.

I look at Adrian, expecting him to say something, but he doesn’t, and neither does he even look back at me.

With a sigh, I focus my attention on Vivienne this time. “No,” I say to her. “He hasn’t eaten.”

“You’re going to upset him, Elara. Can’t you see?” Adrian finally speaks, sounding exasperated. “You don’t need to put up a fight with everything.”

I frown. “But I’m not trying to fight,” I reply, my voice already shaking. “I’m simply trying to stop him from having dessert before the main meal.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong if he has the dessert now, is there?” Vivienne says, her eyes gleaming with restrained interest. “Stop being so uptight about it, Elara.” She looks at Theo. “Theo is such a good boy. He deserves to get the dessert.”

When I don’t say anything, he grins, triumphant, and reaches for the dessert anyway.

I slap his hand away. “Don’t.”

His face twists instantly. “You’re so annoying!” he shouts. “I hate eating with you!”

My chest tightens at his words and Vivienne gasps softly, as if scandalized. However, the amusement and delight that flickers in her eyes tell a different.

“Stop being a brat, Theo,” I warn. “Eat your food, or else no dessert for you.”

“Oh Lord, Jesus,” Adrian sighs again, rubbing his temple. “Can you please stop making a mountain out of something so small?”

“You think I’m trying to make a mountain out of nothing?” I ask. “I’m not.”

“You’re making everything harder than it needs to be, Elara,” he replies.

White, hot fury rises inside me, but I push it down before it can surface. “That’s because I actually care about him! I’m trying to parent him!”

“No, you’re not!” Theo snaps, tears already rushing down his cheeks. “You’re just a terrible person! You’re a bad mummy who doesn’t love me!”

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

I have nothing to say.

This isn’t the first time Theo has said mean things to me alongside his father, and nothing I say will stop him. So I remain there, speechless, an invisible knife twisting through my chest despite a tiny part of me hoping Adrian would defend me this time at least. Because Theo has never escalated this far.

He’s still throwing a tantrum, banging the table while Vivienne tries to soothe him when all of a sudden, he hits the handle of the kitchen knife, sending it flying.

I barely register the movement before pain suddenly slices across my cheek, and my breath swooshes out of my throat breath as warmth spills downward

“I—” I lift my hand instinctively, towards the spot just as Vivienne chokes at the same moment.

“I’m blee — ”

I’m interrupted by the startled sound that escapes her, her hands flying to her throat, and she jerks while her gaze remains on my face.

“Oh my God—”

She coughs hard, once, twice.

Adrian is on his feet instantly. “Vivienne!”

He’s beside her, rubbing her back, panic written all over his face. “Are you okay? Breathe.”

Theo cries loudly. “I didn’t mean to!”

“I’m bleeding,” I say again. “Adrian.”

“She’s choking,” he snaps, turning to face me, his eyes ablaze with fury. “Can’t you see that? Are you blind?”

I open my mouth to say something, but I snap it back shut when he grabs a glass of water and takes it to her lips, helping her to drink some.

Once he pulls the glass away and drops it on the table, Vivienne coughs once more, then leans into him, her breath shaky. “I’m fine. I just— I wasn’t expecting… that.”

Adrian exhales, relief flooding his face. “Thank God. I thought something bad was going to happen to you.”

She passes him a small smile, her eyes meeting mine for a brief second before returning to his.

At that same moment, Adrian turns to look at me, his expression now cold. “Go wash your face.” And then, he gives her back his attention.

That’s all.

I stand, legs steady out of habit, and walk to the sink even as my throat clogs up with the unbearable type of pain that comes from watching the person you love neglect you.

The water runs cold as I splash my face, and the blood thins, streaking pink down the drain. Pressing a napkin to my cheek, I wait until the tightness in my chest reduces before returning.

And when I do, dessert is on the table.

Theo is smiling now, spoon in his hand as he eats his share of desert from his plate. Adrian doesn’t spare me a glance, and Vivienne who does, simply gives me a small, pitying look. One that looks innocent on the surface.

I blink back my tears and sit back down.

No one asks if I’m okay.

And that’s when it settles deep inside my mind, undeniably, that I am not part of this family.