Do I DeservE To Be LoveD ??

Leka pov,

Lying on the floor I could not stand the cold so I sat up on the floor and leaned against the wall and stared the cell steel door.. My new name is prisoner no.103.. I got this name for the sins I did.. Now I spending my days in jail as the punishment for the sins I committed against my friend rosie.. I don’t deserve to call her as my friend.. How could I be her friend who I tried to kill her when she was pregnant ??.. May be nowadays God punishing the sinner immediately that is why I was punished instantly for the sin I committed.. My thoughts are interrupted by jailor voice,

"Prisoner no.103.. Come out.."

I get up from floor with the support of wall.. I walk with a limp towards cell door.. He opened the door instantly as I got near to the door and shouted to me,

"Can't you walk a little faster ??.. Come with me.. Today you are going to be released from prison.."

I mumbled sorry and tried to follow jailor faster but no matter how much I tried I couldn't walk faster.. Before coming into prison, I have shown my rich arrogance to many people's; but after coming into prison, many prisoner proved their power by hitting me.. As a result of their abuse, I can't walk without little limp and can't carry anything in my left hand without trembling.. My thoughts discontinued by jail officer voice,

"Sign here "

I signed where he ordered me to sign and he handed me a new floral dress and some money in my hands and told me,

" Your husband asked to give you this dress and this money for the penal labour work you did here.. After giving your prisoner uniform, you can go out.."

I nodded and went behind the curtain to took off prisoner uniform and took the crumpled paper and note cards from uniform and hide it inside my bra.. After wearing the new dress, I gave the prisoner uniform to jail officer..

As I was walking out of jail, the word "Husband" brought smile to my face.. I only know his name.. Hari krishnan.. His name is deeply imprinted in my mind and heart.. I got him as a fortune when I thought I had lost everything.. After marrying him, I endured the pain and suffering which I experienced in prison with the help of the words he wrote on the note card.. In that card the words "I am waiting for you ~ Hari" will have written..

He would send it for me monthly once with some fruits.. Whenever I read his words, it gave me happiness, even though it was not some love or romantic words.. Still the thought of someone was waiting for me gave me hope to live my life.. I would not have cared so much if this had happened three years ago because three years ago I had everything, but now I have nothing.. I lost everything, my parents, my wealth, my beauty.. Now no one will pass me without giving disgusting look.. Even after knowing everything he married me and accepted me as his wife.. Now I have only one wish that to keep him always happy.. Can I make him happy with my disability ??.. Will he be happy with me ??.. What would I do if he thought me as burden ??.. My Hari don't think like that.. If he had thought so, then he wouldn't have got married with me..

As soon as I got out of prison the scorching sunlight bash on me.. I looked for him all over through my sight but he was nowhere to be found.. I waited for him with the thought that it might be taking time for him to get leave from office..

While waiting for him I saw my figure in the doorglass of the car parked before me.. My hourglass figure now turned into skinny figure like stick.. In the past, I would spend many thousand to beautify my curly hair but now I have bun it with the help of cheap rubber band.. My eyebrows have grown out of shape without regular threading.. My eyes which had once been showing arrogance and proudness, now showing dullness and little hope.. My cheeks which was once soft, and smooth with high cheekbones is now look sunken and my right cheek have a big scald scar.. Scald scar was the first brusies I received as a reward for speaking out against a prisoner.. My lips which was once looked beautiful and kissable is now look dry with little cracks..

As my glance moved to my neck, happiness shine on my face instantly.. The yellow thali ( wedding chain ) which he tied around my neck was hanging on my neck.. He tied this thali around my neck at our wedding and then we don't did any other rituals like replacing the yellow thread with strong yellow thread or gold chain.. Hari took me out of prison in the bail for one day and our wedding took place at the small temple in the presence of his family and lawyer uncle who is my father friend..

(**The yellow thread is made of new white cotton thread preferably khadi thread not the sewing machine white thread.. It is coated with turmeric paste, as turmeric is considered auspicious.. The mangalsutra (called Thali) is strung in it. The groom ties it around the bride’s neck.. Later they replace yellow thread with a more strong yellow thread or gold chain with rope like pattern **)

I agreed to marry him just to fulfill my father’s last wish.. The last letter my father wrote for me is still etched deeply in my heart..

"My Dear Leka Darling,

As you read this letter your mother and I wouldn't have been alive.. Forgive us for leaving you alone.. Sorry leka darling.. Your father couldn't able to take you out of prison.. Now your father lost everything.. After you went to jail I could not focus on the our family business.. Therefore, our company start to face many losses.. I sold all of our assets to compensate loss but still I couldn't save our company.. Sorry leka for leaving you like this.. Please leka after releasing from prison don't do any other sins.. Your sins and our excessive affection towards you brought our family in this situation.. I did not want to leave you alone like this.. Therefore I asked hari who worked as my PA to marry you.. He also agreed.. Please marry him.. He will keep you happy and you also try to be good wife for him.. Its my last wish.. Please fulfill my last wish and let my soul rest in peace.."

I wiped away the tears that filled my eyes with memories of my father.. I lost my parents because of frantic obession towards varun.. My family would not have been in this situation if I had not been tried to kill rosie after knowing varun loves her.. I know that there is no use of regretting it now.. Anyway I have to get the punishment for the sins I did.. I think the pain I suffered in prison during those three years was a sufficient punishment given to me by God.. From today onwards I wish to live my life happily with hari without committing any sin to anyone.. I'm going to live my life as his wife ..