Talking About It

Killian

I told Siril to back off so we could possibly help dampen the flood of emotion she was probably getting from us. It seemed to help as she calmed and just laid there with her eyes closed and panted gently. I went to the side of the bed just looking down at her beautiful face that was drawn in distress. 

Then she opened her eyes and there was so much there. She was exhausted still, she was hurt and confused, and there was a huge bunch of pissed the fuck off looking back at me. I did notice that it wasn’t her wolf who was pissed, it was Alora. Not that I blamed her, I really hadn’t meant for it to happen that way.

“Did you plan that?” She asked me softly as he stared up at me.

“No, Alora, I honestly didn’t. I’m sorry, I should have anticipated the mate pull would be too much for Siril and he would want to claim your wolf. I was trying to pull him in and shift, but I couldn’t manage to do it before all of that happened, and then he bit. To wolves it’s instinctual, there’s no emotion or anything attached to it. It simply this wolf is my mate, I claim my mate, and that is just that.” I watched to see what she had to say.

She nodded just slightly, “She’s not mad, my wolf, Mani, she’s not angry at what happened. So, I can see what you are saying. However, that’s not how I feel about it.”

I nodded at her, “We’ll work through it, but I do want you to know I’m sorry it happened like that. I very much would have preferred that we were together, and you were aware, and you had finally decided to accept me. I wished it could have been a romantic evening between us and then the claiming, not like what happened.”

She let out a huge breath, “Is this permanent?”

“Yes, we wolves mate for life, so a claim is permanent. Being mates is a huge thing to wolves. We can never be happy with one who is not our mate. Some wolves have tried, but it always ends pretty badly.” She nodded again.

“What if I didn’t want to stay here?” Wow, that hurt.

I cleared my throat, “You wouldn’t be able to stay away, our wolves wouldn’t be able to handle the separation.”

She nodded, “So, basically it all revolves around our wolves and what they want. Never really a consideration anymore for what the human side wants.”

I sighed, “It’s a huge change, especially being changed so violently the way you were. Most of the wolves in our pack are born wolves, so we’ve grown up and always known that other half of us, so it’s easier for us to accept they are such a huge part of us and our lives. I can’t imagine how much of a shock or change this is. You will develop a close and deep relationship to your wolf, she’s beautiful and strong, like you, so, in time, it won’t feel so invasive.”

She closed her eyes, “Okay, so that was just a very drawn out way to say yes.”

Despite the circumstances I had to smile a little at that and I could see Dr. Martin from the other side of her bed doing the same. She didn’t open her eyes after saying that, just trying to absorb everything. Siril was still wanting to be close to his mate, and I saw her gritting her teeth a few times, so I had an inkling her wolf was pushing as well. 

“My dear, I am going to check to see how much you have been able to heal. It might take a bit longer, but you were still healing very nicely.” Dr. Martin approaches and she nods, not opening her eyes.

He gently unwrapped the bandages on her shoulder. It was almost totally healed now, there was still some bruising, and pink tender looking flesh, but other than that, it looked almost back to normal, and now, my mate mark was clearly visible. Siril, the bastard, was very smug and proud of it. 

“It looks very good, so the bandage can stay off, it will be all good as new in a few hours. As far as healing of your vaginal area, that has also gone at a very good rate, so that should be back to normal by tomorrow.” I saw her swallow in what almost looked like fear.

I wasn’t sure what to tell her. I mean I was willing to try and not touch her, but the wolves would be pushing hard, really hard to be with their mates. Eventually the pressure will be too much and we won’t be able to help ourselves anymore. So, do I tell her that or wait until she’s had a chance to recoup some from all of this.

“So, how do I learn to not have you swamping me with everything you are thinking and feeling, because there’s not that much room in my head and it’s already pretty crowded in there.” I smile a touch again.

“Well, it’s stronger when our wolves are pushing to be near each other. They want that connection. So, it’s basically a learned thing, of having them back off, plus learning our own blocking techniques, and a bit of trial and error as we learn more about each other.” I saw her face go white.

“Can you hear what I’m thinking or know what I’m feeling?” she opened her eyes wide, terrified as she asked that.

“To an extent, yes, Right now you are so distressed it is overpowering anything else I might feel from you, and I am very much attempting to not pay any attention to any of the thoughts that are running through your mind.”

She just looked at me and blinked, then at Dr. Martin, and blinked. Then doing the absolute last thing I would have expected she burst into hysterical laughter, even needing to clutch her stomach as it went on. Dr. Martin and I both looked at each other in confusion.

“Oh my god, you are so totally fucked. You are going to so regret having any type of peak inside my head.” I just looked at her confused.