You Are So SOL

Alora

Hearing that he'd somewhat be able to hear and see inside my head was some seriously fucked up shit. I was being completely honest. He would very much regret that. I know, I'm forced to deal with it every single fucking day.

He's looking at me confused and wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. So, I decided a demonstration is in order. So, I stop blocking, letting the memories, emotions, horror and fucking evil bullshit that has made up my whole damn life, flood me.

He staggered back sucking in a breath. He's shaking, gritting his teeth, and I see he's losing control of his wolf. The doctor comes over and touches me. That sets something off, and I start trying to pull it in. Having someone touch me unexpectedly is always a bad thing.

So, no doubt he was trying to get me to stop whatever I was doing to his alpha. Instead he just triggered me, so it just got worse. I'm trying to pull it back, but my mind is now caught, with the inability to distinguish past from present, and my panic is taking over. 

Suddenly I feel something warm start flowing through my veins. My brain starts to go fuzzy and sleep begins to pull me under. So, now it's time to be trapped inside the nightmares, as I fall into the darkness inside.

Killian 

Holy mother fucking shit. I am still panting, trying to get Siril calmed down. Explaining those are memories and feelings. No one is doing that to her right now. Showing him she's secure and in the bed right in front of us. It takes a bit after Dr. Martin gave her the medicine to put her to sleep. 

Finally I collapsed in the chair next to the bed. This is bad, this is very fucking bad. Dr. Martin is looking at me with concerns written all over his face.

“Do you want to tell me what the hell just happened?”

I cleared my throat, “She stopped blocking. She let the gates open and showed me exactly why she said I was fucked about being inside her head.”

He blinked and just looked at me, then turned to look at her, then once again turned to me. I just nodded. 

“Yeah, it's bad, it's very fucking bad. So, I have no idea about that, and you triggered the hell out of her by just touching her. No wonder she lost her shit when Siril mounted her.” I shook my head. 

“If she hadn't been changed, and with the transformation, lost all of the scars, there would be not one inch of unmarked scarred skin on her body.” Dr. Martin does his own blink, then comes to sit in another chair beside me.

“Alpha, can she actually be Luna? Will she be able to handle the pack and what they need from her? Will she be able to give you pups?” I just rub my hands up and down my face.

“I don't know Sean, I don't know. We are mated, I have claimed her. She's my mate, so what am I supposed to do?” Calling him by his name, which I don't do often.

He lets out a big breath, “Fuck, Killian, I don't know. This isn't something as wolves that we typically have to deal with. Those bastards we have been chasing are an abnormal case in our world.”

We just sit and absorb, only going to her as she twitches and whines, obviously having a nightmare, and with the medicine, unable to wake up.

I lay my head next to hers on the pillow, and I let Siril come close, he purrs and lets out a low soft growl for his mate. I hear her whining some, but the longer he and I are close, just being here, she calms.

“Well, Killian, you might have just found the answer to your question. What you do is just be there. Let her experience what it's like to be safe. Let your wolf comfort hers but try to explain they have to go easy, not sure if that will work or not. However, now that the mate bond is complete, the next time he tries to mount her wolf, he may find out what she’s seeing in her mind, and most likely it would be bad.” I just nod.

Wow, I am honestly not sure how to navigate this. On one hand, I want to hunt down every face of everyone in her memories of those who hurt her, and I wish to rip them apart piece by piece. There is one in particular that haunts so many of those memories, and I wish I could dissect him slowly. I do not even know if he still lives, I do not know how long ago these memories stem from. There is truly so much I didn't know. I had been trying to get to know her, but this was not what I expected. I expected some issues, as we knew her reluctance stemmed from more than her transformation. I will be honest and say I didn’t think it was such a heavy burden. 

I go and see to pack business as quickly as I can. My sister knows something is wrong, and of course news of the accident has spread. I assure everyone she is fine and will be out of medical shortly. Elizabeth knows I am hiding something, but to her credit she doesn’t ask, nor does she call me out on it. 

I go back and sit by her side, knowing that the medication will be wearing off soon. It’s not very long until I see her open her eyes. She just blinks and then focuses on me. She doesn’t say anything. What is there to say really? She showed me what she had been talking about, more than she intended to actually, especially with what happened after Dr. Martin touched her. 

Eventually she rolls over to her back and she lets out a huge sigh, “I told you this wouldn’t work. I did try to warn you.”

“We’ll work it out Alora, we’ll figure our way through this together.” She closes her eyes and sighs again. 

I walked her out of medical, and towards our room, as now that we are mated she’ll share my room, which she wasn’t happy about it. As we enter the main room of the pack house, there are several people there, and suddenly one of the older women comes and hugs her, and her eyes roll back in her head.