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Chapter 7 [2-3]
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๋ฐ์ดํธ:
2023-01-25 10:53:08
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Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 7 [3-3]
Elliot stared down at me, his expression stiffened at my response before he moved my hands away and pulled off his shirt. He tossed his shirt to the side as he leaned forward kissing me and it felt like he was being gentle with each peek like he's willing to withdraw at any point if I asked him. I can feel that pounding sensation against his chest when I placed my hand on his chest letting my fingers linger and the unsure feeling returned. Where did that confidence disappear? I said that I wanted to do this and yet Iโm pulling back again. Elliot saw my hesitation when I began to pull my hand away and reached out grabbing my wrist placing my hand right at the middle of his chest.โCan you feel that?โ He asked me.I was curious at his question before noticing that Iโm feeling his heart and its racing. That pounding feeling that I felt wasn't from me but from him. โAre you scared?โHe smiled as he continued on kissing me and nodded, โTerrified. You're scared that I wouldnโt want you anym
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-01-29Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 7 [3-3 Special - So Lucky Part 1]
โI want toโฆ with you,โI was about to raise his shirt up when he reached out to grab my arm to stop me, โWe donโt have to-โโI love youโฆ and I want to do this with you because you feel the same way.โ I said, staring into his eyes and I wanted him to know how I felt. โYouโve made me feel safer than Iโve ever felt in years. I know you wonโt hurt me.โElliot stared down at me, his expression stiffened at my response before he moved my hands away and began to pull off his shirt. He tossed his shirt to the side while he leaned forward to kiss me, and it felt like he was being gentle with each peek. The way he kissed me was as if his lips barely touched mine and it was as if he was willing to withdraw at any point if I asked him. I could feel that pounding sensation against his chest when I placed my hand on him letting my fingers linger, wanting to feel him, and so suddenly without thought, there was that uncertain feeling returning to me. Where did that confidence disappear? I said that I
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-05Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 7 [3-3 Special - So Lucky Part 2]
Elliot seemed to get the hint and I could see the dimples on his cheek as he smiles down at me. Heโs been putting in the effort so that I wouldnโt have to be reminded of the first time Iโve had sex and become overwhelmed with fear. Having to be reminded of that painful feeling jolting through my body and feeling like I was only there for their own needs. I took a deep breath as I tried to shake off that anxious feeling that was creeping up on me and looked at Elliot while I could feel his hands spreading my legs apart. I kept my eyes on him wanting a distraction and seeing in his expression that he was being cautious. It honestly didnโt hurt so much after Elliot paused to let me take a breath and I can feel him inside me.โIf you donโt like it, tell me, okay?โ He whispers.I nodded, wanting to show that I was comfortable, and placed my hand over his chest. I want to feel his heart pounding like mine and remind myself that we are each other first. It's not like Iโm overwriting my past,
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-08Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 8 [1-2]
I looked at my phone to check the time and I was a couple of minutes late walking back to campus. I came early to meet with Luis and we went out to eat at one of the restaurants across campus. Itโs Friday and the week went by slow after I left Elliotโs apartment and Iโm thinking of going over tonight if I have time. Lucas invited me to a play that is being held on campus, that Andre and Genevieve will be performing, and I promised Lucas that Iโll meet him at five, but I was distracted talking with Luis. I saw Lucas walking over to the main building where we agreed to meet after I told him where I was and he smiled waving at me.โMichael!โ He shouted in glee. โItโs great that you text me or I wouldnโt have found you. I thought about waiting at the bus stop since you didnโt have classes today.โโSorry,โ I said, walking over towards him. โI was distracted hanging out with a friend that I havenโt see for a while.โโThatโs fine. Now, come on,โ Lucas said, grabbing my hand and starting to
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-11Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 8 [2-2]
I held the camera in my hand feeling uncertain about what I should do when the lights started to dim down and they began the second act of the play. Lucas nudged me when they started and I raised the camera trying to take pictures, but I wasnโt sure if I was doing this right. I feel shy not wanting people to look over at me while Iโm doing this, but when I glanced around everyone was watching the play and that helped calm me down. Glancing at the stage, I could see Andre performing so I took this chance to take pictures of him while he was performing and it felt like I was capturing every scene until I realized that the play finally came to an end.โYou got into it in the end,โ Lucas said after I took the last picture.I looked down at the camera and shrugged my shoulders not realizing that Lucas was watching me. โI just tried. Donโt the campus have their own photographer?โ I asked him.โNo, not right now. The person who was in charge of it transferred out and it was all a surprise be
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-20Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 9 [1-2]
I entered the apartment, turning on the light that was near the entrance, and set my things on the couch. It felt a bit cold being alone and I turned on the television wanting there to be some sound to occupy the empty place. Glancing around, the last time I was here was when I spent the night last weekend and we havenโt really talked so much about what we did. It did hurt me a bit, emotionally and physically, but overall it wasnโt a terrible experience since we were able to take things slow. My face felt warm as I remembered the moments when Elliot reassured me multiple times and how the feel of him was far more exhilarating. I went over to the kitchen to grab something to drink and noticed that there were some dishes left in the sink. To occupy my time, I washed the dishes then looked around trying to see what else I can do, but Elliot usually likes to keep his belongings organized compared to me and I donโt want to move anything that might upset him. I thought about the play and th
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-02-25Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 9 [2-2]
I hummed as I felt his lips again and was tender feeling them while he still held on to me; our legs were intertwined under the covers. There was this gentle touch to them that I tilted my head up wanting a bit more and he did, never pulling away like he'd letting me feed onto him. A loud breath escaped my mouth when he kissed me by the neck and I let out a giggle, feeling nervous, and also there was this sensation like you can just melt under his arms. Thatโs honestly all I have to say about Elliot. Feeling his fingers tracing along my sides leaving my breath hitched and trembling a little the further we go.I was about to wonder if weโre moving too fast, but it was too late to interrupt him and it was clear where this was leading. I laid there watching him pull off his shirt then felt his hands tracing across my arms and there was this tight feeling in my chest. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself from this overwhelming feeling thatโs creeping up on me and it wasnโt like last tim
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-03-02Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 10 [1-3]
On Tuesday I met up with Lucas at the library like promised and we were both free for two hours before our next courses. Andre tagged along with him wanting to show me the college newspaper and they picked out one of the photos I took during their performance for the piece; my name was even credited underneath. I looked at it for a long second before glancing at Andre and I wasnโt too sure what to say about it, but I was surprised. Andre brought up the offer for the photoshoot again and I sat back in my chair glancing at the newsletter. It's the first time seeing my name on anything beside a reward certificate that a teacher would give in elementary school.โWeโre going to pay you for your time,โ Andre continued, then raised an eyebrow like he could read my thoughts. โYou want to give it a try, right?โโYou trust me to take your photo?โ I asked him.โI wouldnโt be bugging if I didnโt,โ Andre replied back and moved to sit beside me. โCome on, if I become famous, Iโll be thanking you fi
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๋ฐ์ดํธ : 2023-03-08
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Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 18 [4-4]
We spent some time holding onto each other until it started to feel cold now that the sun was going down and the wind got a little stronger. I put on my shoes and then helped Elliot clean the blanket before making our way to the car. Elliot was asking what I would be interested in eating, maybe trying to help me be in the mood to have something filling, but I wasnโt too sure how much I could intake. I agreed with something as simple as pizza and we took it home, where my mom was waiting for us. There was this awkward silence around the table; I felt like Elliot wanted to talk with my mom and report about our day, always privately counseling her. I was barely able to finish two slices before putting my plate in the sink and I gave them their time as I excused myself to change my clothes. I washed my feet since it was dirty from stepping on the wet sand and when I came back to my room, Elliot was lying down on my bed. I didn't say anything as I grabbed a new pair of socks and moved to
Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 18 [3-4]
โMichael?โ Elliot asked, wanting me to reply to his statement.โIโm listening,โ I whispered, turning to look at him and thinking more about his words.โI donโt want you to be upset with yourself or to have any guilty conscience. It was justโฆ Iโm trying to inform you that this is also substance abuse or could even lead to it and youโve used both alcohol and drugs in the past. This is aside from the fact that your friends pressured you to drink, if they continue with this, then you will blindly harm yourself in the long run. Iโm actually surprised that you didnโt have that thought and itโs concerning.โ Elliot tells me and it felt me speechless.I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was beginning to set. โCan we not talk about this anymore?โ I asked him.โIโm only telling you from the way I view it and I care about you. I donโt know how much youโve explained to Doctor Brown about the situation, but with your reaction, it seemed like this is something that you havenโt made yourself a
Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 18 [2-4]
We both didnโt say anything as Elliot kept his focus on the road and I kept my eyes out the window seeing the view change. I always enjoy seeing the beach view and maybe being out would be a nice breather like he suggested. It took a bit of time for Elliot to find parking and we made our way over to an area that was less crowded. Now that weโre near summer, it was a nice day to be at the beach and it wasnโt so hot that I had to take off my sweater. As always, Elliot took out a blanket from the trunk of his car like heโs always prepared and we laid it out after we found a nice spot away from the pier. It felt like we were the only people on the beach, giving me this secure feeling.โAre you sure that youโre not hungry?โ Elliot asked after noticing the time. โIโll eat after we are done here,โ I said while looking over the ocean view and seeing the water shining from the sunlight.โBut you like to stay here for hours,โ Elliot retorts and tilts his head to look at me closer.I shrugged m
Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 18 [1-4]
I sat up suddenly and felt my hands shaking, knowing Iโd woken up from another nightmare. Why was this one real compared to the other one I had? Why did I remember something from the past that I was able to forget? No, Iโm going to forget about it again like it never happened. I donโt want more memories from the past to resurface and affect me like before. It took me a moment to remember that I was in my bedroom and I reached a hand out to the spot beside me. I didnโt feel Elliot's hand and looked over to see his side of the bed empty. I tried to stay calm as I looked around my room trying to figure out if he had left while I was sleeping, but that wouldnโt be something that Elliot would do. โElliot?โ I called out in a small voice. Did he go home? No, he said that he was going to stay for a while and wasnโt going to leave without telling me. I tried not to feel overwhelmed as I pulled the covers off and checked the restroom, hoping he was in there. I stepped out to the hallway, hear
Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 17 [3-3]
For a second, I wondered if we shouldnโt be holding each other like this, but does this mean that he still cares for me, or is he only being kind? If we had been like this before I fell asleep, I might not have had that dream. The thought about the dream had me shivering as I recall Chrisโs face and I moved a bit away from Elliot, but he still had me in his arms. He must have noticed my discomfort and I felt his hands patting my back, trying to comfort me. Iโm starting to feel a bit of pain in the pit of my stomach and I know itโs all the stress from having the panic attacks to the night terror. โIโm tired,โ I mumbled as I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted again. โYouโre going to be tired the whole day if you donโt rest,โ Elliot replied. โI knowโฆ Iโm already getting a stomach ache,โ I said, then sighed, feeling a little pain. โAnd I was feeling that earlier at my dadโs house.โ โDo you need some medicine?โ He asked me. โI think so,โ I said, sitting up. โStay here. Iโll get it for
Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 17 [2-3]
I closed my eyes, trying to get comfortable, and it felt easier to fall asleep with Elliot beside me. At least I know he is here supportively and he chose to stay the night because he wanted to; not just to watch over me out of spite. Even if he was here to comfort me and nothing more, Iโm thankful he let me lean on him, even if itโs only for tonight. I opened my eyes, wanting a little peek, and he looked like he was already sound asleep; maybe he was already tired before coming to pick me up. There was something I wanted to ask him about our relationship, but I was also afraid to hear the answer, or I was only hoping for an answer that I wanted to hear. I turned over, away from him, and closed my eyes, knowing I was only trying to distract myself from sleeping. For a while, I could hear the soft breathing coming from Elliot, and hearing him was a nice reminder that I wasnโt alone. A sudden flashing light disturbed me and I raised a hand trying to block it; maybe I left the blinds op
Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 17 [1-3]
Chapter 17When we entered the house, I went to the kitchen and decided I needed my anxiety pill. โDo you want something to drink?โ I asked him.โWater is fine,โ He answered.I grabbed two bottles of water and handed them to him as we moved to sit on the couch. โYou really donโt mind staying?โ I asked him.Elliot took the bottle of water and had a small sip, โI donโt mind.โI moved to lean against the armrest and face him as we sat on the long couch. โBefore I called you, I was in the guest room trying to relax but I was going through both panic attacks and anxiety,โ I told him while looking down at the bottle of water. โAll those feelings came to me that I began to doubt myself... Every time I see Chris, alarm bells go off in my head and my body yells that I need to leave. Runaway, hide, or find a way to disappear.โElliot reached out to hold my wrist and the touch grabbed my attention, โAnd now your home, far away from him. Remember that heโs not going to hurt you here.โโCome on, E
Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 16 [4-4]
I looked into the living room, and I saw Ally on the ground playing with her toys while Caesar sat beside her, looking down at his phone. โWhen did she wake up?โ I asked.He looked up and put his phone away, โAbout ten minutes agoโฆ You look worse.โI moved to sit on the floor with them and Ally crawled over to me. โI called Elliot and heโs going to come by,โ I told him and put Ally on my lap with her stuffed bear. โIs it okay if you wait until he gets here?โโYeah,โ He nodded as he reached into his pocket and handed me a paper. โThey want you to call this number and you can tell them what happened. Itโs Chrisโs probation officer and they said that he will get a fine after breaking his restraining order.โI looked down at the paper, โA fine? Thatโs it?โ I asked him.โSince he didnโt do anything, there isnโt much they can do besides that, and if he had done something, they could have him in jail for over six months,โ Caesar said, leaning back to rest against the couch.โBut that sounds
Don't Touchย ย ย Chapter 16 [3-4]
It was quiet on the walk back to my house and Caesar laid Ally down on her crib after I showed him the way to the bedroom. I was able to calm down a bit, but my hands were still shakey and I knew that this anxious feeling wouldnโt go away. I watched as Caesar closed the door behind him and rubbed my arm nervously, taking the lead back downstairs. I led him to the kitchen to grab a cup of water and took a small sip while Caesar stood behind me, leaning against the counter. It's my fault for being careless and going out when Iโve already been warned that heโs back in town. What would have happened if I was alone or if Caesar didnโt show up at the right time?โThanks for helping me,โ I whispered.โWell, it wasnโt like he could do much without having to put himself in jail and Iโm not sure how you would have been if he stayed longer.โ He said and looked me over like he was being cautious with his words. โYou should be careful having these panic attacks while holding your sisterโฆ It looked
