I followed him outside to the car and once again I took a seat in the back. I still couldn't bring myself to look at him or even sit beside him after all that happened. The ride to school was quiet as well and after he dropped me off; all he said was that he was expecting me to be ready to pick me up when school was over. I walked over to my classroom and of course, almost everyone in my class was watching me. I quietly walked over to my desk and sat down trying to avoid anyone who was staring at me. I was about to pull out my book when three boys from my class walked up to my desk and I froze unsure of what to do.
“Hey, cry-baby, I heard you got Kevin suspended cause you were being a cry-baby.” one of the boys said and the others laughed.
“So that must be true that you like boys, huh?” the other one said.
I turned up to them. “No,” I said quickly.
“That's so nasty. I heard gays die faster just by kissing each oth
I took my time since I still wasn’t in the proper mood and remembering about the past made me recall a few things that I push away so hard that I tried to forget. I sighed heavily as I stood there after getting dressed then reached for my jacket and stepped out of the room once I was completely ready. Elliot turned off the television and we both made our way out towards his car after I made sure I locked the door behind me. I got inside his car and we sat there quietly as he started driving, but luckily it wasn’t that uncomfortable silence between us now.“So, is there a place you want to go?” He asked me.“No,” I answered.“Are you hungry?” He asked.I shook my head. “No. Not right now.” I answered.“How about we go to the movies? I know you like watching movies.” He asked.I thought about it and shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t mind,” I answered.
I got myself a shirt while we were going through the stores and Elliot bought himself a jacket. Once we were done we headed back to the food court and we tried to decide what to eat. At this point, I was finally feeling hungry to eat and we decided to buy burgers that filled me up after eating. We continued to talk until we were done eating and we began to head back to the car making our way back to my house. Maybe there could have been more for us that we could do, but Elliot had to head back home after dropping me off and I'm sure my mom wants to talk as well after our conversation this morning.Elliot left soon after he dropped me off and my mother didn't come for another hour after. It wasn't a long conversation that we had and we both apologized to each other. The day ended and by morning things were back to normal and finally, I am back in school again. During my time in school, I made sure that I tried going to the tutor sessions to help with some assignments and it&rs
I spent the rest of the evening talking with my mom, doing homework and by morning I tried to get myself ready for school. I looked at my hand, seeing a bruise, and I wasn't too sure if I wanted to go at the thought that I’ll run into David. Maybe I should go walking as well. I was about to text Elliot when he suddenly messaged me first saying that he left early to pick me up. I sighed as I walked to the kitchen grabbing something small like a banana to put it in my bag and slowly started making my way outside to wait for him. I wasn't too sure if I wanted to see Elliot just yet because I was curious about how it went yesterday between him and Jennifer. I also couldn't bring myself to tell Elliot about David because I was also mad that he approached him without telling me and that led me to hurt myself.“Hey!”I looked up to see Elliot parked in front of me and I walked over to his car. “Hi,” I replied as I got inside.“You ok
Why did that hurt me then it wasn’t supposed to? It wasn't a breakup, but it felt like it since I just told him that I wanted time apart. I told my only friend to leave me alone only because I was upset at him and maybe I was scared of getting too close to him as well. I can’t just fall so easily to his words and be happy whenever he comes to get me or when he smiles at me. It’ll only make me want to have him to myself because maybe he was the only thing that’s been comforting me these days. The only person that’s been able to help me whenever I have those bad days; when he was just there when I just wanted to quit.I went to my next class after the bell rang to end lunch and I was able to sit down in my seat before David entered the room. I avoided making eye contact with him and made sure I kept my distance from him. I guess I wasn’t completely in the right mindset because I forgot almost half the lecture and I just remembered that there'
“Michael,” Elliot called me as he followed.“Please, don’t. I’m not going to school tomorrow and I probably won’t see you at your game... Don’t overthink it too if I don’t text you back or anything. I'll also get over my feelings towards you so don't worry about me.” I said without turning back to him. “But you should still get this. I was bullied before. I know how it gets and I’m not trying to start anything again. You don’t get how horrible that feels to deal with.”When he didn’t respond I took this chance to continue walking and went inside the house before he could try to stop me again. I leaned against the door and sighed heavily as I tried not to think about what I just said. Once I calmed down, I walked over to my bed and laid down feeling tired and I wasn’t too sure if I should fall asleep. I was about to close my eyes when I heard the front door open then my mom stepped
By the time I woke up, my room was dark and my throat was dry. I took my time to get up and walked over to the kitchen to grab a cup of water. It was barely three in the afternoon and I slept for almost nine hours. I almost forgot how strong my pills can be, but then again I also haven’t been eating much so maybe that's why it affects me more. I put the empty cup in the sink then made my way back to my room to check my phone again. There was a message from my dad letting me know that it was fine for me to come over and another message from my mom checking in on me then there was another message from Elliot. I hesitated to read it, but all he asked was how I am doing. I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to text back, but I did. I put my phone down after the reply and closed my eyes as I tried to fall asleep which wasn’t so hard then later I was woken up by my mom after she came home from work. I got up and checked myself in the restroom before going to see her.&ld
So, Elliot might have feelings towards me... I let myself come to terms with this fact and I don’t mind figuring it out with him on what we are together. Friends or not. Partners; lover. Acquaintance. Even if he didn’t say that he likes me, it is better than him saying that he is disgusted with me for liking him. At least he’s not like those kids from middle school who taunted me and pulled away because of my sexuality.“You said we’re going to your dad’s for the weekend, right?” Elliot asked, breaking the silence.I turned to him, “I am.”“Did he ever move or does he still live there?” he mumbled and I knew what he wanted to ask.“He could still be living there,” I answered, nodding. “I haven’t stayed at my dad’s house for a little more than a year since I was discharged, but from what I remember he never left town after knowing that I almost killed myself.&rd
It seemed like she wasn’t uncomfortable with me here, but it’s been a while since we last saw each other as well. She went to the kitchen and I decided to take my bag to the guest room. I closed the door after I was done and paused when I saw the door to my room. I walked over to it and was about to reach out to open it, but I held back as I decided to wait until later. I went back downstairs to see Lily cooking and I went over leaning against the counter as I tried to figure out what to say to her.“What are you making?” I ask her.“I hope you don’t mind chicken Alfredo,” she said glancing over at me. “It's honestly one of the few things I can make.”I smiled, “It's fine. Pasta is my favorite.”“Good,” she said as she walked to the sink to wash her hands. “So, how is everything? Like everything since you moved to your mom’s.”I glanced over at her and s