CHAPTER 9

ZANDER’s POV

After the whole shit that happened today? All I needed was to get halfway through this project and go home for the weekend. A little time away from Jayden and his friends.

Speaking of the devil, he entered the room.  

I didn’t even want to say anything to him or even look at him right now because everything about him just kept reminding me about the cafeteria and I couldn’t start pretending like I was in the mood.

“You came back.”

I felt my blood boil and any little hope I had of us becoming neutral totally evaporate. How could this be the first he says to me after acting like I didn’t even exist. Even if he hated my guts, a simple apology— or at least some sign that he gave a damn would’ve been enough.

 “About the project.” I changed the topic. I just needed us to work on it today and finish some of it so we could get away from each other. “We should decide the parts we’re going to cover before you leave for the weekend.”

I know I sounded like an asshole, but I didn’t care.

“You’re the top student, aren’t you? He said in a detached tone. “Figure it out yourself since all the teachers can’t stop praising you.”

I froze.

He said it again. Those words clawed at memories I’d spent years trying to bury. I wanted to yell at him to stop. I wanted to scream that it wasn’t true, that he’d gotten it all wrong, but nothing came out.

I was having a panic attack.

All I wanted was a truce. I wanted whatever wall stood between us to finally come down. I was willing to forget everything that had happened, but he just had to remind me of who he was.

“Just leave.” That was the only words I could say and everything else sounded like a blur. I heard the door slam so hard and I felt so sick. 

I fell on my knees and I saw my tears dropping. The memories started resurfacing and I could feel his disgusting hands on me again. 

  By the next morning, I was already out of the school on my way home. The ride felt like a blur and by the time I opened my eyes, I was home. This was exactly what I needed. A little time with family and mom’s awesome cooking.

“There he is!” She pulled me into a tight hug and I’m sure about two of my ribs are cracked.

“You’ve gotten thinner,” She already began to complain. “Are they feeding you over there at all?” I knew this wasn't going to anytime so I needed to get out of here. 

“I’m fine, mom.”

“LIAR!” My sister interrupted, walking into the kitchen.

“So, tell us everything.” I giggled and told them I needed a nap because I’m exhausted and I’d definitely tell them about it when I wake up.

When I woke up, it was already dark. I had slept the entire day.

“Mom?" I called out but there was no response. I saw a note on the table telling me they went to our aunt’s place so I decided to take a walk to clear my head and all the whole shit that happened in school. 

I wandered without thinking, letting my feet carry me through familiar streets. Past the little park where mom used to bring me after school. Past the bakery she’d always stop at, insisting we split a loaf before we even got home.

A smiled tugged at my lips.

I checked my phone and it was already past 9. Might as well get a few things from the convenience store before heading back. As I stepped out, my eyes landed on a man standing across the street.

Everything inside me stopped.

The broad shoulders, the way he carried himself, the color of his hair, the way he looked from a distance.

My footsteps slowed

“No…” My breath caught in my throat. “Dad…?”

“No, no, no”

No, it couldn’t be.

My breathing became shallow. The honking of the cars around began to sound like a blur. All I could hear was my heart pounding violently as the world around me faded into nothing but him. My vision blurred. My hands began to shake.

He turned slightly just enough for me to catch the side of his face.

I stumbled backward, losing my balance and everything I held falling to the ground. Another set of memories I was trying so hard to forget got brought back again.

His voice.

His hands.

The pain.

I couldn’t breathe and it hurt so bad. It felt like invisible hands were wrapping around my throat, squeezing tighter and tighter.

The memories began to come all at once. The shouting and beatings from him. The hate. The fear he made sure to never let leave me.

“It fucking hurts. Please make it stop.” I said to no one in particular. Hoping someone would hear me.

“Zander!”

A familiar voice cut through the panic.

My sister reached me and I flinched so hard.

“Hey, look at me,” she said softly. “Look, It’s not him. You’re okay.”

I forced my eyes open. She was kneeling in front of me, both hands gently holding my face.

With trembling hands, I looked past her. The man was already walking away and she was right. It wasn’t my father. The tears I’d been fighting immediately rushed out like a broken dam.

“I feel so fucking pathetic.”

She pulled me into a hug as my breathing came out in short, broken gasps.

I buried my face against her shoulder, my body trembling as she held me for as long as I was crying. When I finally got a hang of my emotions, we finally started walking again and we passed the tattoo shop across the street.

Someone stood outside the door. The figure looked a bit too familiar. For a split second, I could’ve sworn it was Jayden. I shook it off because what could he be possibly doing here?

All I needed was to get home and take another nap.