THE TRUTH ABOUT IAN

EVE

Agatha had shown me how to use the pregnancy test strip, then stepped outside the bathroom to give me privacy.

The test strip felt like it weighed a hundred pounds in my hand. My fingers wouldn’t stop trembling.

“Eve? You okay in there?” she called.

“Yeah,” I lied.

I did the test and finally forced myself to look.

Two lines. Positive.

For a moment, the world tilted. My stomach knotted, and my ears started ringing. I had lost my virginity to my brother’s friend, a man six years older than me and now I was pregnant with his child.

Keeping the pregnancy was never an option, I didn’t even want to think about what my parents would do to me, they were out of the country for now, but if they found out, I’m pretty sure they’ll be on the next flight home, and they wouldn’t come with comfort, they’d come with punishment

When I didn’t answer for a while, Agatha pushed open the bathroom door. One glance at my face told her everything. We didn’t speak. She just took the strip from my hand and tossed it, making sure no one would ever find it.

I was so sure I looked like hell, it didn’t matter because I was going to be in hell literally if I didn’t do something about this, I thought looking down at my flat tummy.

I took Agatha’s phone and went back to the bathroom dialing Ian’s line.

He picked on the first ring.

“Hi,” I managed to say. “Are you busy right now?”

“Not for you baby,” he said casually. “What’s up?”

“Fine,” I lied again, hoping stupidly that he’d hear something in my voice and ask how I was.

“You checked that stuff?” he finally asked.

“Hmm…”

“I’ll assume it’s positive,” he said, in a low voice, like he didn’t want someone nearby to hear.

I heard a woman laughing in the background and suddenly felt my chest tightened. “Are you with someone?” I asked. “Yeah some friends, but it’s cool we can talk.” He said and I heard a click then the faint sound of him exhaling smoke.

“You’ve not done this before right?” He asked and I imagined him exhaling smoke from his mouth with his eyes narrowed as he spoke. “No.” I told him.

“You have to take care of it tomorrow, I’ll send you some money.”

I have to take care of it. Not we.

It stung more than I wanted to admit.

I hated myself for being so dumb.

“Yeah, sure.” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant and unbothered.

He sent the money like he said and an address for me to go to, he claimed that he couldn’t come because he had work to do outside town.

On the day I was supposed to go for my appointment I called Ian, he didn’t pick up but called back after an hour later. I

“Hey, was busy. Done it yet?” He asked.

“No,” I said and I heard his painful intake of breath.

“Can’t you come?” I asked even though I knew what his response was going to be.

“I’m going out of town for work,” he said. “Yeah…”

“Baby, you sure you want this? Paris is usually very hot this time of the year.” Came a woman’s voice. I didn’t want to believe what I heard, Ian told me he was going on a work trip but turns out he was going to Paris with a woman. Could she be the woman Agatha mentioned. Before I could ask any questions, Ian hung up.

Paris.

Not work.

A trip.

With her.

Another woman.

I fell on couch thinking to myself, I already knew how this was going to end but why was I so hurt and refusing to let go.

Could it be the virginity myth, should I go ahead and give Ian what he wants? He must have done this a lot with other girls, seeing as he already booked an appointment, and gave me the exact amount it would cost.

No extra money to get lunch or transport, it was clear he never loved me but I found it difficult to accept.

The truth was simpler, and crueler

I still wanted him. Even after this.

And that was the part I hated most.

Hours passed in a blur. The anger settled in my chest like a slow-burning coal. Ian thought he could use me, discard me, and still walk away untouched.

Few hours later, I picked up Agatha’s phone and dialed Ian’s number.

“It’s done.” I told him.

“Good,” he said without hesitation. “That’s one less thing to worry about.”

One less thing to worry about.

I bit back a laugh that wasn’t amusement at all.

He never mentioned what I over heard or even tried to explain.

Agatha sat across from me, eyes searching my face. “Eve… please tell me you didn’t—”

“I’m keeping it,” I said quietly.

Her brows knitted. “Eve, this is—”

“A mistake? Maybe.” I met her gaze, my tone like ice. “But it’s my mistake to make.”

Ian thought I’d erase this and pretend it never happened. He thought he could hide behind Paris and another woman’s laugh. He was wrong.

Even if it destroyed me, even if I regretted it every day, I was going to keep this child.

And when the time came, Ian would know exactly what it meant to be played.