THE SUSPICION

Birthdays were supposed to be a fresh start, something to look forward to. But now, with the knot of unease growing in my chest, I couldn’t help wondering if mine was about to mark the beginning of something I wasn’t ready for.

I sank onto the edge of my bed, my mind was racing. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was just because of everything that had happened. Noah, the fight, the sleepless nights. Stress could mess with your body, right? That had to be it.

I was probably just overthinking things, the last time my period was late was two years ago and that was because I had hormonal imbalance which I treated, maybe it was back again. I decided to wait a few days, no need to make a big deal out of nothing.

By the fourth day, my resolve began to crack. I sat at the table, staring at the scrambled eggs Agatha had made for breakfast, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat.

She noticed.

“You’ve been weird lately,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

I hesitated, then exhaled. “I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking but my period is late.”

Her eyes widened. “Eve—”

“I know, it’s probably nothing,” I cut in quickly. “I’ve been stressed—”

“Did you use protection with Ian?” She asked seriously and I shook my head.

“What if… what if you’re…”

“Don’t say it,” I stopped her.

“You can’t rule that out, we have to find out on time, imagine if Noah gets to know about this.” She was right, I didn’t say anything.

“I need to tell Ian.” I said staring blankly at the food in front of me. “OMG! Eve, no!”

“I just… I just need to hear it from him, Let me use your phone.” I said, reaching for her phone. “Please.” My phone was still useless thanks to Noah smashing it and the only way to reach Ian was through hers.

He picked up on the second ring, but there was noise in the background, muffled voices, hurried footsteps, a metallic clang like something heavy being shut.

“Yeah, Eve?” His voice was brisk, impatient, like I’d caught him in the middle of something important, hectic, or dangerous, I didn’t know what to think at this point.

“My period is late.” I managed to say, no hello, no pleasantries, straight to the point, I just wanted it out of my chest.

Silence.

I waited, still no response.

“I… I think I might be pregnant,” I said, in a small voice, not wanting to admit it.

Another pause. Not the kind you take to process, but the kind where you’re weighing options. Then his reply came, cold and nonchalant. “Find out immediately. If it’s mine, get rid of it before it becomes a problem for us.”

The words landed like a slap.

My breath caught. “Ian—”

“Eve, this isn’t the time,” he cut in sharply. “I’m busy. I’ll call you later.”

In the background, a man’s voice barking an order I couldn’t make out, and Ian hung up before I could say another word.

I stared at the phone in my hand like it had burned me. My chest tightened until it was hard to breathe.

I was hurt by what he said, what did he mean by, if it was his? He was literally the only guy I’ve ever had sex with.

I got back to the sitting room to meet Agatha. Her voice was gentle but in a warning tone. “Eve… what did he say?”

“He’s busy,” I lied smoothly. “He’ll text as soon as he can.”

She didn’t believe me. I could see it in her face. “Eve, you can’t trust him. Not after the way he’s treating you.”

“He’s just stressed,” I said quickly, almost desperately. “He didn’t mean it like that.”

Agatha didn’t argue. But the way she looked at me made me feel like she already knew the truth I wasn’t ready to face.

And I… I would rather believe in a lie than face the possibility that Ian never cared at all.

We both decided that Agatha was going to get some test strips for us to find out at home, When she left, the apartment felt empty, I was alone once again. I tried to distract myself, I turned on the TV, scrolled through an old magazine, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind. Ian’s voice, clipped and cold, like I was nothing more than an inconvenience.

I pressed my palms against my stomach without realizing it, I was just eighteen turning nineteen soon, my parents were going to kill me if they were to find out, Noah… Noah would tear me apart. Fear wasn’t supposed to feel this.

The clock ticked louder than usual, every second. I couldn’t shake the image of Ian in some unknown place, voices shouting in the background, that metallic sound, his impatience. There was more to him than he’d ever told me… and maybe, deep down, I already knew that but didn’t want to admit it.

But knowing wouldn’t change anything, at least not tonight.

I curled up on the couch, staring at the door like it might give me answers before Agatha returned.

When she comes back, I’ll have to face the truth whether I was ready or not.