Chapter One

I find the engagement ring while looking for condoms.

Not my proudest moment, but Brandon's been "too tired" for three weeks and I'm ovulating and honestly I'm 26 years old with a boyfriend who still can't remember to buy his own socks. So yeah. I'm digging through his nightstand like a crazy person.

That's when I see it.

Small velvet box. Navy blue. Shoved behind a half-empty bottle of lube and some old receipts.

My heart stops.

Holy shit.

I open it even though I know I shouldn't. Even though this ruins the surprise.

It's beautiful. Oval diamond. Rose gold band. Delicate. Exactly what I would've picked if he'd ever bothered to ask what I wanted.

He's going to propose.

After four years of "I'm not ready" and "marriage is just a piece of paper" and "why do we need to label it" - Brandon finally bought a ring.

I take a picture. Send it to Maya with seventeen exclamation points.

She calls immediately. "OH MY GOD."

"I KNOW."

"You weren't supposed to find it!"

"I was looking for condoms!"

"Romantic." She's laughing. "When do you think he'll do it?"

"I don't know. Soon? It's in his nightstand."

"Maybe this weekend. Isn't his brother's engagement party Saturday?"

"Oh my god you're right." I'm pacing now. Grinning like an idiot. "That would be so perfect. Propose right after his brother gets engaged."

"Very on-brand for Brandon."

I ignore the edge in her voice. Maya's never liked him. Says he's controlling. That he makes me small.

She doesn't get it. Brandon's just particular. Protective. He wants the best for me.

"I need a dress," I say. "Something nice but not too nice. I can't look like I'm expecting it."

"You're impossible."

"I'm engaged!"

"You're not engaged yet."

"Basically engaged."

I put the ring back exactly where I found it. Close the drawer. Sit on his bed feeling like my life is finally, FINALLY coming together.

My business is growing. My boyfriend's proposing. Everything's perfect.

I should've known better.

---

Saturday comes and I'm wearing the dress. Navy blue to match the ring box. Hair curled. Makeup perfect.

The engagement party is at some fancy vineyard an hour outside the city. Brandon's brother Tyler goes all out for everything.

I'm shooting it.

Because of course I am. Tyler's fiancée saw my I*******m and loved my work and offered me two grand to photograph the party. Two grand I desperately need because my rent's going up and my camera's making a weird clicking sound.

So I'm working my boyfriend's family event. Super romantic.

Brandon barely looked at me when I arrived. Just nodded toward the gift table and went back to talking to his cousins.

I tell myself he's nervous. Planning the proposal. That's why he's being weird.

I set up my camera. Start shooting. The venue's gorgeous. String lights everywhere. Sunset over the vineyard. Tyler and his fiancée look stupidly happy.

I'm adjusting my lens when I see them.

Brandon and some girl I don't recognize. Blonde. Tall. Laughing at something he's saying.

His hand is on her lower back.

I freeze.

They walk toward the vines. Away from everyone. I follow without thinking. Camera still in my hands.

I should stop. Should go back to the party. Should trust my boyfriend of four years.

I don't.

I stay far enough back that they don't notice. Watch through my telephoto lens like a creep.

They stop under an arbor covered in flowers.

Brandon's talking. Looking nervous. The girl's smiling.

Then he gets on one knee.

No.

No no no no.

He pulls out the box. Navy blue. I know what's inside without seeing it.

The girl's crying. Happy tears. Hands over her mouth.

"Yes!" Her voice carries across the vineyard. "Oh my god, yes!"

Brandon slides the ring onto her finger.

My ring.

The one I found in his nightstand. The one I told everyone about. The one I thought was MINE.

My camera's still up. Still focused. I take the shot without meaning to.

The shutter sound echoes.

Brandon's head snaps up. He sees me.

For three seconds we just stare at each other. Him on his knee. Her with my ring. Me with proof of everything.

Then I run.

I don't know where I'm going. Just away. Away from Brandon and that girl and the ring that was supposed to be mine.

I make it to my car before the crying starts. Ugly crying. The kind where you can't breathe. Where snot's running down your face and you don't even care.

Four years.

I gave him four years.

Moved across the country for his job. Turned down shoots because he said I worked too much. Stopped seeing friends he didn't like. Wore clothes he approved of.

And he was engaged to someone else the whole time.

My phone's blowing up. Maya. My mom. Brandon.

I turn it off.

I need a drink.

The venue has a bar. Open for the party. I should leave but I'm contracted for four more hours and I need that two grand and honestly where else am I going to go?

I fix my makeup in the car mirror. Look almost normal. Just red eyes. Could be allergies.

I walk back inside through the side entrance. Avoid the main party. Head straight to the bar in the corner.

"Vodka," I tell the bartender. "Whatever's most expensive."

He raises an eyebrow but pours it. I down it. Order another.

"Rough night?"

I turn. There's a guy sitting two seats down. Dark hair. Leather jacket. Definitely not dressed for an engagement party.

"Rough life," I say.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not even a little bit."

"Fair enough." He goes back to his drink.

I study him. He's hot in a way that seems effortless. Like he rolled out of bed looking like that. Nothing like Brandon's carefully styled everything.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. "You don't look like you're here for the happy couple."

"I'm not. I'm the entertainment." He gestures to a guitar case by his feet. "Playing during dinner. Apparently the original guy bailed."

"Lucky you."

"Lucky me." He smiles. It's the kind of smile that probably gets him in trouble. "I'm Kai."

"Sloane."

"Nice to meet you, Sloane."

We sit in silence. Both drinking. Both clearly not wanting to be here.

"Can I ask you something?" Kai says.

"Sure."

"Why are you crying?"

I touch my face. It's wet again. I didn't even notice.

"I'm not."

"Right. My mistake."

I down my drink. Order another. The bartender's definitely judging me now. I don't care.

"My boyfriend just proposed," I say. "To someone else. With a ring I found in his apartment. While I was photographing it. For money I desperately need."

Kai blinks. "Fuck."

"Yeah."

"That's..."

"The worst thing you've ever heard?"

"I was going to say impressively terrible."

I laugh. It comes out wrong. Half sob. "I win."

"Win what?"

"Worst day ever."

"I don't know." He leans back. "I got cheated on, lost my record deal, and had to move back in with my mom all in the same week last month."

"You win."

"We both win."

We drink to that.

More drinks come. I lose count. Everything's fuzzy around the edges now. Better. Definitely better than feeling everything.

"You're really good at this," I say.

"At what?"

"Drinking. Talking. Not asking questions."

"I'm very talented."

"Is that why you lost your record deal?"

He laughs. "Among other reasons."

"What kind of music?"

"Indie. Singer-songwriter. The kind of thing people listen to when they're sad."

"So business must be good."

"Should be. But turns out sleeping with your producer's wife is bad for your career."

I choke on my drink. "You what?"

"In my defense, I didn't know she was married. And also I was very drunk. And also it was a terrible decision."

"That's a lot of also's."

"I contain multitudes."

I like him. That's probably the vodka talking but I don't care. He's easy. Funny. Not looking at me like I'm broken.

"Want to hear something stupid?" I ask.

"Always."

"I found the ring three days ago. Called everyone. My mom. My best friend. Started looking at wedding dresses online."

"That's not stupid."

"I feel stupid."

"That's different."

The party's moving into the dining area now. I'm supposed to be shooting speeches. Toasts. All the happy moments.

I stay at the bar.

"You should probably work," Kai says.

"Probably."

"But you're not going to."

"Nope."

"What are you going to do?"

"Drink until I forget his face."

"That's a lot of drinks."

"Good thing they're free."

Kai flags down the bartender. Orders two more. We drink.

People are staring now. Wondering why the photographer's getting wasted in the corner. I flip off someone's mom. She gasps. Kai laughs.

"You're kind of a disaster," he says.

"You're kind of an asshole."

"True."

My phone's vibrating in my purse. I throw it on the floor. Watch it buzz across the tile.

"That seems healthy," Kai observes.

"I'm very healthy."

"I can tell."

Time does something weird. Skips forward. Suddenly it's darker. The party's in full swing. I've missed everything I was supposed to shoot.

I'm going to get sued.

I don't care.

"I should go," I say. Standing makes the room spin. I grab the bar.

"You definitely shouldn't drive."

"I'll get an Uber."

"In an hour. After you drink some water."

"Why do you care?"

"I don't know." He looks at me. Really looks. "But I do."

That shouldn't make me want to cry but it does. Because Brandon never looked at me like that. Like I was worth caring about.

"What if we just left?" I say.

"Left where?"

"Here. This whole thing. We could just go."

"Go where?"

"I don't know. Anywhere. Nowhere. Somewhere that's not here."

Kai's quiet for a long moment. "You're drunk."

"Very."

"And upset."

"Also very."

"This is a bad idea."

"Probably the worst."

He finishes his drink. Stands up. Offers his hand.

"Let's go."