Chapter 5: Enjoy While You Can

Vanessa's POV

The moment Cole and I stepped into the hallway together, people noticed.

Whispers followed us from the entrance. Phones appeared in hands. A girl I had known since middle school nearly walked into someone because she was too busy staring at our joined hands.

Yesterday, those looks would have made me want to disappear.

Today, they were confused.

I could live with confused.

At his locker, Cole turned toward me and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. He leaned closer.

"You're forgetting to breathe again."

Anyone watching probably thought he had whispered something romantic.

"Stop enjoying this."

"I'm not."

"Liar."

"I have class."

"So do I."

He glanced at the students, pretending not to watch us.

"Can I kiss you?"

My stomach tightened.

It was supposed to be part of the act, that was all.

Still, he waited.

Nathan had taught me what it felt like when somebody decided my consent was optional. Cole standing there and actually waiting for an answer shouldn't have mattered as much as it did.

"Yes," I whispered.

He bent toward me.

The kiss was soft at first, almost careful, and somehow that made it harder to remember this was fake. My hands found his shoulders, and when he deepened the kiss slightly, I forgot about the hallway altogether.

The bell rang, and we pulled apart.

"See you at lunch, bunny."

I opened my mouth to complain, but he was already walking away.

Did I just kiss Cole Grayson?

Technically, Cole Grayson had kissed me.

That distinction did nothing to explain why my knees felt unreliable.

I hurried into the ladies' room and locked myself inside a stall.

"This is fake," I whispered.

The restroom door opened.

"Did you see what happened in the hallway?"

"Everyone saw it."

I stayed quiet.

"How did Vanessa the ugly duckling get Cole? Was he blind when he kissed her?"

The second girl laughed.

"I don't care how she did it. I want to be her."

I stared at the stall door.

The insult should have hurt more.

Instead, I found myself concentrating on the second girl's words.

I want to be her.

Nobody had ever said that about me. At least they weren't talking about the video.

Once the girls left, I waited before coming out.

By first period, the story had travelled through the entire school.

Dating Cole Grayson, even falsely, had changed the rules overnight.

I wasn't sure whether that made me grateful or disgusted.

Probably both.

Lunch was worse.

Cole ignored his usual table and sat with me instead, at my table.

The one people jokingly called the exile table because nobody popular voluntarily sat there.

"You know your friends are staring at you," I said.

"They'll survive."

"And half the cafeteria is staring at me."

"They'll survive too."

He scooped pie onto his spoon and held it toward me.

"Open."

"No."

"Vanessa."

"Cole, everyone is watching us."

"You'll get used to it."

"I don't want to get used to people watching me eat."

His hand lowered.

Cole put the spoon down without arguing.

"Okay."

The easy acceptance surprised me.

"Okay?"

"You said no."

I looked at him.

Maybe my standards had simply become pathetic.

"You're having way too much fun with this," I said.

"Maybe."

"Why?"

"Because you're terrible at pretending to like me."

"I am not."

"You looked disgusted when I sat down."

"That was natural."

He laughed, then his attention moved past my shoulder.

"Your douchebag ex is staring."

"Nathan?"

"Unless you have another douchebag ex."

"He's your teammate."

"So?"

"So you see him every day."

Cole's fork stopped against his plate.

"He hurt you. Being my teammate doesn't change that."

I looked down.

"A real man would never do what he did."

For the first time, someone at school had said it plainly. Nathan had done something wrong.

"Can we talk?"

A hand landed hard against the table.

Lillian stood there.

I hadn't spoken properly to her since the bonfire.

Now she looked furious.

"Okay..."

I stood.

Before leaving, I leaned down and kissed Cole's cheek.

It was supposed to help sell the relationship.

The smile he gave me made me wonder which one of us I was trying to convince.

Lillian walked ahead until we reached an empty stretch of hallway.

Then she turned. "What the hell, Vanessa?"

"What?"

"You know I like Cole."

I stared at her. "Seriously?"

"I told you I liked him. You knew."

"I also knew you liked that guy from the gym last month."

"Don't make this a joke. You went after him anyway."

"I didn't go after anybody."

"Oh, please. You knew how I felt, and the second you got the opportunity, you stole him."

"Cole isn't a handbag, Lillian."

"You know what I mean."

"No, actually, I don't."

She folded her arms.

"This is the first real conversation you've had with me since the bonfire," I said. "And you're angry about Cole?"

Her eyes moved away. "I was dealing with things."

"So was I."

"I know."

"Do you?"

She looked at me again.

"What did you expect me to do, Vanessa? Stay beside you and let everybody start bullying me too?"

I couldn't answer immediately.

"I've been dealing with shit because of you for years," she continued.

"Because of me?"

"Do you know how many times people made comments because I was always with you? How many times did I have to defend you?"

I stared at the girl who had spent years telling me none of those people mattered.

"I never asked you to."

"No, you didn't. You just expected it."

My throat tightened.

"And now you go for the one guy I've wanted forever."

"This has nothing to do with getting back at you."

"Then what does Cole Grayson want with you?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

She hesitated, and that hesitation told me she knew exactly what she was about to do.

"Don't," I said quietly.

But she chose cruelty anyway.

"I mean, look at you, Vanessa. You're fat! Girls throw themselves at Cole every day, and you're telling me he suddenly chose you?"

For a moment, I couldn't connect those words to Lillian.

Not the girl who had stood in my bedroom and told me my curves were beautiful.

"You don't mean that."

Her mouth tightened.

"I can't believe you're saying this to me."

She stepped closer.

"I can't believe you thought this would last."

I held her gaze.

Lillian lowered her voice.

"Enjoy Cole while you can, Vanessa, because the second he finds out what you really are, this whole thing is over."

My fingers went cold. "What are you talking about?"

She gave me a smile I had never seen on her before.

"Wait until he hears the truth about your family."