LOGINI woke up from my slumber, without a care in the world. That is until I checked my phone.
27 missed calls from mum 18 texts from mum 3 voicemails from mum I groaned in frustration. How had I forgotten to tell mom? A lot had happened yesterday and, in the midst of it all, I had just left out a small but crucial detail. I opened the texts before responding back that I was at a friend's house and my phone was dead, so I couldn't reply. The excuse, in itself, was a stretch for my mom to believe. I had never mentioned any friends to her, not for keeping privacy but rather due to the fact that I never had any friends to begin with. A number of times, she had tried to sign me up for extracurricular activities, but I just couldn't find it in me to try. I was, in all ways, socially inept. I sat up and immediately looked at the couch. I was shocked that no one was there because I did not peg him as an early riser. I made a silent note to myself to not make judgemental assumptions. I stretched my aching limbs before getting off the bed, making my way to the bathroom. It was then I stopped when my eyes landed on him. Aaron lay on the floor besides the sofa, his hair a messy mop of black locks. I smiled smugly knowing that my previous assumptions were right and cursed at myself also for not making this prediction. He was lying on his back. One arm was on the floor by his side whilst the other one was over his eyes, shielding them from the light that splayed through a slit in the curtains. I thought back to his words from last night and my mood dampened significantly. This was what part of me feared about having company. I didn't show a lot through my expressions nor through my body language, so everyone must think that I could tolerate all that they threw at me. But, it wasn't true, not in the slightest. Many a time, when I was younger, I had cried in the school toilets about the constant empty seats around me in class. Or about the maddening silence I had to ensure during lunchtime. I was younger then and, so, I was naive. I didn't need anyone else, but myself. I was content like that. But, I wasn't immune. I hated the effect that everyone had on me. After one day of knowing Aaron and he had already proved that I'm not immune. Sure, the effect he had was minimal and insignificant, but it was still an effect. And that was precisely why I was to scared to get close to anyone. I decided to leave him there as a sweet sense of revenge and strolled down the stairs towards the kitchen, looking to Sam as she cooked in the kitchen, the aroma making my mouth water. "Morning" she greeted happily and I had to force the grimace that I usually had on my face at this time. "Morning" I grumbled before noticing the huge stack of pancakes that she had put into a plate. There had to be at least 13 there. "What's with the pancake tower?" I questioned with a slight laugh, my eyebrows raised comically. Sam tossed a pancake into the air twice, smiling to herself in success. "They're for teddy. He absolutely loves pancakes! He always eats them by the dozen" She explained, cocking her head back slightly to talk to me. My eyebrows furrowed at her words. "Teddy?" I asked as she wheeled up to me, putting a pancake on a plate for me. I muttered a small 'thanks' before settling in. She clapped a hand over her mouth, before looking towards the stairs cautiously. "It's my name for Aaron." She whispered before looking around again to check if anyone was listening to our conversation and leaned in closer. "You know I called him teddy ever since he was young. He had complained when he was 5 that he couldn't spell his own name so he wanted to go to the 'government' so he can change it to teddy." she whispered, a sad smile streaked across her face, he eyes vacant as though she was living within the memory. I put a hand on her arm for reassurance, but couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the story. "What are you laughing about?" I whirled around to see Aaron entering the kitchen, one hand on the back of his head, stroking his hair. He came and sa next to me, grabbed his plate of pancakes and began digging in. "Oh, nothing. We were just talking about stuff" I said casually, shrugging my shoulders. He didn't look up from his pancakes. "What kind of stuff?" He questioned, his voice coated with disinterest. I waved him off with a wave of dismissal. "You know, the usual girly stuff" I said, trying to sound truthful before adding more syrup to the pancakes. He perked up at this, making me roll my eyes. His eyes shone as he spoke. "What kind of girly stuff?" He asked, smirking and I could already sense the teasing tone to his voice. I gave a look of nonchalance, but I racked my brain for a response. He waited patiently, his eyes settled on me. "Urm.." I started. He raised an eyebrow urging me to go on. "We were talking about....... Your mothers period" I said smiling widely at the end. This would definitely scar him. Maybe now he would think twice before being so intrusive. He paled at my response, choosing to look down. He eyed his pancakes in distaste before he gently nudged them away from him, muttering something along the lines of "Lost my appetite" I laughed loudly causing Aaron to glare at me and I tutted at his gaze. "If you keep the glaring up, you're gonna lose an eye. Now, go upstairs and put a shirt on, 'Jacob'!" I said between laughs. He still had just his joggers on. "Who's Jacob?" He muttered to himself before putting his plate in the sink. I laughed harder at his confused expression. I continued eating as I heard him come up behind the counter and stood behind my stool, speaking into my ear. "And why should I put a shirt on? We both know you love it." He whispered in my ear. I tensed at his words and blushed hard. Trying to conceal it, I ducked my head down and began digging into the pancakes like a madwoman. Aaron laughed, taking my silence as confirmation to his allegation. He then bent closer before speaking, his voice notably husky. "Oh and by the way, you look really cute in my hoodie. Keep it." He then backed away from me, walking to the door of the kitchen. I turned around and we made eye contact as I glared at him. He smirked and winked in response. "Bye, Lexi" he called over his shoulder as he left and I had whiplash from the many moods I had faced of his in just a day alone. This boy was bipolar and unpredictable and the thought created both fear and anticipation to well inside me.I lay on my bed thinking deeply about how cruel life could be. Why was I destined to such a life? I didn't want this for myself, but I felt helpless. My life was as bland as it was short. I willed myself not to cry and clenched my eyes shut. Why did I want to cry? Just a month ago, I didn't give much thought to dying. In fact, after I had decided to stop looking for a treatment, I felt less restless. I had finally been able to sleep. I was perfectly unfazed by leaving That was, until Aaron came into my life. I groaned, rubbing my face with my hands. I had to stop thinking about him. He was bad for me. He gave me desires and wishes to live and that was a bad thing to wish for. Especially, when I didn't have enough money or a definitive cure. I sighed in frustration at my stupid desires and pulled myself off the bed. Maybe some food would take my mind off of it. I skipped into the kitchen, humming and looked through the fridge. "How can you be so happy?" Someone called out
It was lunchtime now, but I was still thinking about what Raven told me about Aaron and Avalon. It felt as though the more I dove deeper into popular group, the more cracks I found. Yet these cracks didn't ruin them, it only made them human. "Alex" someone chirped. I turned around to see Elliot, smiling at me. "Eli" I chirped back. He laughed at me. "I think it'd be an injustice to have someone as entertaining as you to be walking alone in the hallways." He joked with a deep laugh and I scoffed at his goofy lines. He could always make me laugh, even in the most troubling times. "I am going to lunch. Care to accompany me?" I said, hoping he would. I really needed to see a friendly face. He smiled sadly. "Wish I could, but I promised Miss Edwards that I'd help her set up the equipment for her after school session, but next time I'll accompany you" he promised, smiling earnestly. I smiled back, liking him a bit more knowing that he was so helpful to the teachers. "Sure"
I woke up, dazed and almost had a heart attack from waking up in an unfamiliar room. I sighed in relief, clutching my lurching heart when I remembered I had fallen asleep in Aaron's bed. The memories from the conversation and events came to mind and I felt the mortification fill me. I had kissed him against my better judgment. The drinks I had taken from the tray had made me act without inhibition and I had become a carefree person for once, not plagued by anxiety or dark thoughts. I looked at the time and let out a noise at the time. It was a school day and I was already running late. In fear of messing up my early streak, I jumped out the bed and looked toward the sofa. Sure enough, Aaron was lying down on the sofa on his stomach, his face practically submerged in the pillow. I laughed inwardly at him, but cursed again realising that he was also going to get late and, regardless of if he cared or not, education was important. I quickly made my way to his bathroom and d
Aaron's head snapped to my direction, "What?" He questioned. Now, I was beyond nervous. I didn't want to get him angry or make him upset, but I wanted answers. I sighed inwardly, gathering all my courage. "Well, you're always so mean and you said 'not when you're there' when I offered for you to sleep on the bed? Do you hate me that much?" I asked timidly, making sure to not look away. Aaron looked straight at me, his eyes were curious before they returned to normal and he shrugged lazily. "Well, I know, you've never been in that type of situatuon, so I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." he explained. "How can you be so sure I haven't done it before?" I said defensively, my nose crinkling slightly in anger. He scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning to me. "Don't bullshit. I can tell from a mile away" He said, amusement apparent on his features. My eyebrows furrowed at this. "Tell what?" I asked, sobering up a bit and I could tell a pounding headache was wait
I made my way to where Aaron was standing with Danny, tripping along the way. "Aaron" I shouted gleefully, tripping over and landing in his arms. He grunted in response and pulled me off of him. He looked at me blankly before gesturing to my feet. "Take the heels off. You're stumbling too much with them on" he commanded, turning his attention back to the girl who was dancing against him. I hated being ignored, so I stomped my feet and tapped him again hard. "Aaron, I'm bored" I whined, pouting like a child. Aaron stopped dancing with the girl and turned to look at me, his hands still on her hips. His eyebrow was arched as if he was questioning me on what I was doing and I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by a blonde blurry thing. I squinted my eyes to get them to focus but to no avail and I sighed dramatically. "Yeah, go have some alone time with your girl!" Danny exclaimed, slinging his arm casually around Aaron's shoulder. He then looked at me and smirked
"Yes, blood pressures normal now. Just keep drinking a lot of fluids and stay away from eating a lot of fatty food" The nurse told me. I nodded my head showing I understood when, in actual fact, I didn't care. I couldn't find myself to care anymore. I pulled my sleeves down and stood up from my seat, waiting for the nurse to dismiss me. I fidgeted with my fingers for awhile, looking around the room. The nurse fiddled with a few machines, taking notes down on a pad. I bit my lip anxiously, hoping for the silence to end. Finally, she turned around to face me, concern evident on her face. "I know, I've asked this everytime, honey, but I have to as part of the protocol. Are you sure we can't be of further assistance?" She bent down towards my height, putting the notepad down on the chair besides me. "Yes. I'm sure." I breathed out confidently. I didn't want anyone to question me right now, especially when I had made up my mind. "I know, sweetie but, the thing with aplastic







