Falling For Mr Grayman

What would you do if the people who were supposed to protect you, the ones who swore loyalty, unity, and strength, looked at you like you were something rotten?

That's what my life has been for the past five years.

They call me a murderer. Not out loud. Not always. But I see it in their eyes, in the way they flinch when I enter a room, in the way their whispers spike when I pass by. Sometimes, they don't bother to hide it. Sometimes I hear the words as clear as day.

"She's cursed."

"She brought death to this pack."

"Stay away from her."

There was a time when their hatred came with bruises. A shove in the hallway. A blow to the ribs during training. My books tossed into the mud. Cold water poured over my head. The kind of cruelty that made you wish you could disappear.

It only stopped when Alpha Gray found out. He made it clear that if anyone laid a hand on me again, they'd deal with him. No one's dared touch me since.

But just because they stopped hitting me doesn't mean the pain ended.

Now, their silence hurts more than the punches ever did. They act like I'm a ghost haunting the packhouse. A reminder of something they all wish they could forget.

I'm seventeen. Turning eighteen in three days.

That age is supposed to mean something. It's when a wolf comes of age. It's when the mate bond can awaken. It's when we're finally supposed to feel whole.

But me?

I feel anything but whole.

I haven't shifted. Not once. Not even a glimpse of my wolf. No fur. No howling instinct. No rage beneath my skin. Just emptiness. I've been waiting for six years. And I'm still waiting. My wolf was supposed to come out when I was twelve, but it didn't.

My mother used to say I was special. "Your wolf will come when she's ready," she told me once, brushing my hair while we sat by the fire. "Wolves like you take time."

I believed her back then.

But she's gone now.

And I'm starting to wonder if she was wrong. Perhaps the moon goddess has forgotten about me.

I live in the farthest room in the east wing of the pack house. It's small, cold, and smells faintly of mold no matter how many times I scrub the corners. The mattress is thin. The sheets are older than me. And the single window barely lets in the moonlight.

Not that I deserve more. I guess I should still be thankful that I have a place that I can call mine.

I'm not stupid. I know what they think. I've heard the stories, how I was the only one who survived the rogue attack that killed my parents. How I didn't have a scratch on me. How the Beta found me hiding in the closet while my parents' blood soaked the floor, but what probably made them turn against me was the death of our Luna. How could I have known? How could they blame a child for something so unfortunate?

They say I led the rogues here. That I'm cursed. That I was born wrong. And that's what they believed ever since.

No one says it outright, not anymore. Not since Alpha Gray made it clear I'm not to be harmed. But the pack never needed words to tear me down.

Even Ryker stopped defending me.

Ryker used to be my best friend.

He used to walk me to class and tell jokes when I was too tired to smile. He used to call me "Little Storm" because of my eyes, just like my mom's. We'd sneak cookies from the kitchens and race each other through the woods until our legs gave out.

I used to think he'd never leave me.

Now? He won't even look at me.

It's like I don't exist.

Sometimes I think that hurts worse than all the whispers and bruises combined.

He's the Alpha's son after all. Strong, tall, golden-eyed, and the future of this pack. He doesn't belong in my world anymore. He stopped belonging in it the moment the world turned against me.

I lower myself onto the mattress and wince as pain shoots through my side. I shouldn't have gone into the training room alone yesterday. I knew they'd be there. I knew what would happen. But I needed the space. The silence. A place where I didn't have to pretend I wasn't breaking.

Of course, they found me. Of course, someone shoved me hard enough to send me flying into the wall.

I didn't even scream. I just got up and walked away. I always walk away.

Because if I don't, I'll fight back, and I can't risk what will happen if I do.

I grab the bandages I stole from the supply closet earlier and rewrap my ribs with slow, practiced fingers. I've gotten good at this. No one helps me anymore, so I had to learn. The healer refuses to see me. Said I'm a waste of resources. Said I should be grateful I'm even still breathing.

Maybe they're right.

Maybe I should've died with my parents.

But I didn't. And now I'm here, curled up on this thin excuse for a bed, staring at the crack in the ceiling, waiting for something, anything, to change.

Eighteen. Three days.

The age when mates find each other. When everything's supposed to fall into place.

But how could the Moon Goddess pair someone with me?

How could anyone be destined for someone broken?

I turn toward the window, letting the pale moonlight wash over my face. I want to believe that something good is coming. I want to believe that I won't always feel this empty.

But I've learned that wishes are just lies we tell ourselves to make the darkness feel less endless.

And I've been lying to myself for far too long.

My trance was cut off when I heard loud banging noises on my door. I struggled to get up but quickly got up to my feet knowing what will happen if I don't answer in less than fifteen seconds.

I opened the door, and once I opened it, his glaring eyes quickly greeted me, coupled with his jaw that was clenched so tightly like he any second now he will drag me out of my room.

"Ryker," I whispered his name.

His expression changed a little but it quickly also returned to normal and he looks more angrier now. He grabbed my wrist tightly tossing me out.

I felt an electricity run through my body when I felt his skin touch mine. I don't really know why it happens, but it usually does when I come close to him, or those rare occasions where I would accidentally bump shoulders with him.

"We're not letting you live here for free. Stop being lazy and work your ass off!" He snarled at me and walked away.

Sure enough. They really won't let me rest. Not one bit.

"I—I'm going to the kitchen now…" I whispered, looking down as I held my aching face.

"Then hurry up!" He slammed the door behind him.

I headed to the bathroom for a quick shower, changed clothes, and walked quietly to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Cassy," I greeted softly, eyes lowered.

Cassy was one of the only kind souls in this pack. A couple of inches taller than me, with long brown hair and a beautiful smile.

"Good morning, Ivy," she said cheerfully, cracking an egg into a bowl. She turned to me, her eyes narrowing when she saw my face. "Who did it this time?"

She stepped forward to touch my bruised cheek, but I stepped away.

"It doesn't matter," I said quietly, grabbing plates and utensils. "We can't do anything about it."

"Yes, you can. Tell the Alpha—or your uncles."

"You already know why I can't," I sighed, setting the table. "Need help?"

"Nope. I'm almost done. Just sit and relax."

Cassie is the only person I can confide in. She's three years older than me and already found her mate—Mark, one of the pack's top fighters. He's one of the few who treats me with respect. If he sees anyone bullying me, he stops them. He and Cassie are trying for a baby now. They told me they want a house full of little ones.

"Your birthday's in three days! What's the plan? Is your aunt and uncle coming home?" she asked, excited.

I sighed. "I don't think they can come,"

"Hey… what's wrong?" Cassy asked, frowning.

"They can't come home for my birthday. I guess I'll just sleep through it. Only you and the Alpha remember it anyway."

"Oh honey…" She rubbed my shoulder. "I'll cook your favorite food that day. I promise."

"Really? Thank you, Cassie.” I smiled for the first time that morning.

Just then, Mark walked in.

"Hi, babe. Evening, Ivy," he said, kissing Cassy's cheek and nodding at me.

Others started filing into the dining room, and I quickly began serving them.

Some tried to trip me. Others called me names. But I kept my head down.

Gabriel, one of my friends in the past caught my eye from across the room. He gave me a small, secret nod.

Suddenly, the dining room fell silent.

Ryker and the Alpha walked in.

"Good morning, everyone. You may begin." The Alpha gestured with his hand and sat down while everyone followed suit.

Ryker's eyes caught mine. There was something with the way he was looking at me that made my stomach feel tingly. Even when he sat down he didn't break eye contact. Only when his father turned to talk to him did he turned away his gaze.

Sigh. I hope he's not pissed at me or anything. I really can't take another round of beating.