He Deserved It

JACKSON

It’s been five days. 

Five whole days of going to our bench and waiting for her until it became clear to me that she wasn't coming. It was five days of going to the café and pleading with her with my eyes to look at me, or at least not treat me like I was a stranger. It was five days of not going to the house because I wasn't ready to face my mother yet, after the way we left things. 

Five days of noticing the eyes on Siri whenever she walked past, and the whispers. It was worse than it was before.

It was five days of hell.

Things have been progressing between us. Slowly, but progress was progress. I’ve finally managed to get her to open up a bit about herself. She had given me a piece of herself, and it seems that we got a bit closer after that. And then I ruined it. All for what? Because I couldn't manage my bloody temper?

But… fuck, I couldn't have just stood there, and aggression was the only language I knew. And now I've made things worse. I’ve pushed her to the point where I can no longer reach out for her. 

Watching her walk around campus with her shoulders squared, while I could see the weight that no one else can, was suffocating me. I wanted to reach out to her, hold her in my arms if she would let me. I wanted to shield her from the mess I've created.

I’ve bitterly learned that Siri wasn’t a princess locked up in a tower waiting for a prince charming to save her. Siri was… well, Siri. She was bold, bitter, broken Siri with fire and doubt behind those beautiful eyes, and I… I… 

“Hey, Cap.”

I raised my head from my locker where I had been staring at nothing, and turned towards Mason. He held my eyes for a few seconds before he looked away, his fingers fidgeting with the strap of his backpack.

“Yes, Mason?” I answered softly, but my voice was just… flat. 

Mason was the third-best player on this team. He was a shy kid who always kept his head down and tried to remain invisible, even though everything about him drew attention.

Huh… Reminds me of someone. As soon as that thought entered my head, my chest grew warm, and then painful. 

Bloody hell. 

“I…” He took in a deep breath before he raised his eyes, but could only hold mine for a second before he looked away. “I-I know it’s not my place to say this, b-but… you did good.”

My eyebrows pulled together. “Sorry?”

He looked down at my feet. “With Isaac. He deserved what you did to him.”

Wow… I… I did not see that coming. I shut my locker and turned to him fully, resting my shoulder and hip on the locker, and crossing my arms. 

“Does he now?”

He nodded slowly. “Ever since that incident with Michael, Isaac has always felt like he has a right to badmouth Siri to anybody.”

My body pulled tight, and I straightened. “What incident? And who is this bloody Michael?” 

His eyes widened slightly, and he raised his head. “Oh… you don't know?”

“No, Mason. I don't. So tell me.”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to hear it from Siri herself. It’s not in my place to tell you.” He turned to leave, but stopped, his back facing me for a while before he turned his head to me. “Isaac deserves it. And you’re the only one brave enough to decide you were not going to take his bullshit. So I wouldn't look so down if I were you.” A pause. “A-and also, I'm here if you need someone to show you around town.”

He left, and I didn't know how long I stood there, but it was long enough for the soles of my feet to hurt. 

If he deserved it, and I did good, why does it feel like I've lost something so precious to me? Maybe it’s because I did. 

That evening, as I made my way to the café like I always did, I vowed to get her to stop ignoring me. I vowed to draw a reaction out of her. When I got there, it was a bit more crowded than usual, and she didn't notice me coming in, so I decided to sit by and watch her.

You would think that, with the countless times I've seen her working, I'd be used to how she looks and moves, but you were wrong. Every day I step into this café, the smell of roasted coffee and pastries surrounding me, and I'm always blown away by how she looks. 

The brown apron she always puts on was tight around her upper body, and it made her chest fuller. It did nothing to hide the soft roundness of her stomach, and over and over, I've imagined what it’ll feel like just to place my head there, and… breathe her in. 

Her braid was hidden behind the hat she wears. And that gave her face this… round and yet sharp look. It made her eyes more almond-shaped, and I wanted to be lost in them.

I knew… God, deep down, I knew this was no longer just sexual. I knew that I wanted to be close to her, be someone she’ll need, rely on, and open up to. I wanted to be her friend, but not just for the sexual feels anymore. 

Every day the sun rises and sets, the feeling grows, and I let it. I’ve never been the type of man who tried to stop his heart from feeling whatever it wants. This time, though, a gut feeling told me to rein my heart back in. But I ignored it, of course. 

Finally, the café was thinning out, and I could finally have her all to myself. I stood up and slowly made my way to her, waiting for the moment when she would raise her eyes and they would land on mine. But as it had been for the last five days, she didn't. 

I didn't let the disappointment weigh me down.

“Your usual, sir?” she asked, her hands already moving to print out the order. Her voice was the same as the one she uses with everyone else, and that was like a knife straight through my guts. 

“You won’t even call me by my name?” I asked softly, and her expression didn't even change.

“It’ll be ready in five minutes,” she went on. 

Fuck, this hurts. Did it even hurt this much when I broke up with my first girlfriend? 

“Siri, please… Come on, just look at me. Even for the second.”

But the wall she’s built between us was impenetrable. “You can wait in your seat, sir. I’ll let you know when your order is ready.”

And just like that, I was dismissed. But I wasn't going to give up. I came here with a mission: to get a reaction out of her.

“Who’s Michael?” I asked in a low voice, and her hand froze on the keyboard, her eyes fixed on the screen, wide. 

Slowly, her hands started shaking.