A Life of Nightmares

Amanda's POV

“Logan,” I screamed as I watched him tumble to the ground, a loud crash that almost sent my heart to an overdrive.

I should have avoided that accident. I could have.

I rushed to help him off.

“Let go,” he hissed, shrugging my arms off and standing weakly on his own.

I sighed and stood still at a side. He was a sore enemy for a girl, anyone even, to have. I had thought that he would warm up to me after two weeks but he was as cold as the ice he loved.

“I think you should rest.”

“I was going to anyway.” He sighed, moving towards a bench.

“Are you fine?” I asked, staring at him.

He snorted. “You can see that I'm not.” He shook his head. “I still don't see how everyone thinks you are a competent coach.”

I pushed back the sting his words caused. I was used to it by now. He was hurt and projected his anger onto people. I was unlucky to be with him mostly.

“We both know that I wasn't asking for your physical condition.”

“I'm fine.” He said briskly.

Which was what he said when I saw him that morning looking like he had battled a ghost in bed. And what he had said when I noticed that his hands were trembling at the start of the training. He had been making considerable progress that I knew something was wrong the moment I saw him, but he had shut down when I had tried to ask.

“I don't think so.”

“You are here to train me, coach, not think.” He said, getting to his feet and heading towards the machines. “I'm fine.” He snapped in a tone that demanded no argument.

I nodded at him and set the timer, my eyes fixed on him. Thirty minutes and I had a smile playing on my lips. With the way he was improving, maybe I wouldn't have to run into debts.

A loud crash snapped me out of my reverie and I gasped, my eyes widening in shock as I watched Logan on the floor, holding his ankle.

What the hell was going on with him?

“Let's get you to the hospital.” I cried, rushing to him and pulling him up despite his protests.

“I'm fine,” he snorted.

“You don't look fine to me.” I sneered. “And you can save that excuse, I've gotten sick of it.”

Kirk wasn't around.

“I will have to get you to the hospital.”

“No,” he blanched, his face whitening with horror. “It's just a sprain.”

What was the problem with going to the hospital when he went there regularly?

I sighed, doubting that he was going to tell me.

“Let me dash to the pharmacy then. I can't leave you like this. You've fallen too many times today.”

He rolled his eyes at my protectiveness, probably brimming with the urge to remind me that it was only two times.

“Suit yourself,” he sighed, placing his hand on his face and leaning back his head.

I was back in minutes, walking in with drugs and food.

“I'm not hungry.” He snorted at the food.

“You should still eat. What did you even have for breakfast?”

I doubted he would have had a decent meal since Kirk wasn't around. It was depressing how much he neglected himself when there was no one to nag him.

“Should I feed you? You agreed to listen to me to make this work.”

“Fine.” He huffed at my reminder and pulled the meal towards himself.

I hid my smile.

He seemed broken, resigned somehow that I didn't fight him when he droned on to sleep after eating.

Poor soul. I muttered as I stared at him, wondering what ailed his heart, and hoped that he would eventually accept that I was on his side and learn to trust me.

As I was packing to leave for the day, it wasn't like I could do anything much anyways, Kirk barged into the house breathing hard.

“Did you run all the way here?” I teased at how ragged he looked.

He seemed like he had thrown on his body the nearest clothes he could get his hands on and drove in a mad rush to Logan's house. I tried not to laugh at the mismatched outfits he had on.

“Where is Logan?” He asked, barely sparing me a glance.

I frowned, wondering what was going on. Kirk was never rude to me. What had crawled up everyone’s ass?

“I'm here.” Logan said, walking out of the gym room, his tone defeated.

Kirk sighed, his countenance softening. “My friend.” He rushed to him, pulling him into an embrace.

I wondered who was more shocked by the sudden embrace: me or Logan. Logan stood stiffly as Kirk wrapped his hands around him, clearly fighting back tears by the obvious sniffles renting the room.

“Kirk, is everything okay?” I asked, wondering why two grown men had been unusual since the beginning of the day.

He ignored me again.

I sighed and vowed to keep my mouth shut.

“Why didn't you remind me what today is?” Kirk sighed, glancing at Logan. “You shouldn't have let me go.”

Logan's expression fell. “I can't keep you from having a life, Kirk. You've been taking care of me for a while, it would be selfish of me to bind you to me when I know how important the outing is.”

I itched to know what it was that they were talking about.

Kirk snorted. “It's not as important as you. I could have rescheduled. I'm sorry I didn't remember what today was.”

What was today? The question was on the tip of my tongue. Could someone help a girl here out?

Logan laughed and my head swerved quickly towards him, my hair bouncing with the motion. He sounded odd laughing but I found myself strangely wishing that he would laugh again.

“And have your mother skin me alive. Not at all.” Logan teased. “I'm too handsome to have that done to me.”

I rolled my eyes.

Kirk smiled but it was obvious he didn't find humor in the conversation. “Were the nightmares worse as usual?”

Logan shrugged.

Nightmares? My eyes widened. Logan had nightmares. That explained his foul mood, the distracted mind, and the falls even though the last scan proved that his bones were healing pretty well.

I couldn't understand what the mystery behind the day was though. It seemed like he had awful nightmares on this particular day and I was curious to know the story behind it.

I doubted anyone would tell me.

“How was the blind date? Was she so boring that you had to run home?” Logan asked, clearly not interested in talking about his demons.

“I came home because I have bad news.” Kirk sighed.

“Spill it.” Logan sighed. “I'm used to bad news.”

My heart did that annoying thing where it melted with pity as I stared at Logan. How did someone get used to bad news?

I couldn't help being curious about his life outside being the superstar hot hockey player everyone knew him to be. The cold mask he always wore was proof that there was a lot of vulnerability lying beneath and I wanted more than anything to be let in.

I realized with a shock that I wasn't just curious about Logan but had started to care about him.

My blood ran cold at the realization, knowing the trouble I would be in if I crossed the boundary.

Besides being my client, he hated my gut. I reminded my troublesome heart of that fact and started to feel like I could breathe again.

“There is a scandal about you, friend.” Kirk announced.

“That is not new.” Logan looked bored.

I decided that I should give them privacy to talk. It was possible that one of Logan's flings was causing trouble as usual. He really should have lived as a monk.

“I should excuse you two,” I said, moving away.

“And you, coach.” He glanced at me, shifting the world from underneath my feet with the words.

“Me?” I gasped, my eyes widening with shock.

What did the world say I did wrong?