1

--------Indonesia, Palembang

-----------------Present day.

I had to leave my class immediately Ummi texted. My mind wasn’t at rest, I really hoped GrandPa was okay. He didn't have to leave us now. I felt a warm substance roll down my cheek as I quickly ran into the hospital in search for Ummi. It was very large, Al-ameer specialist hospital. I wasn’t not sure we could afford bringing grandpa here. I walked further into the hospital and found Ummi sitting on a bench. I slowly walked to her and sat by her side. I wanted to comfort her with my words but I couldn’t, I always tried my best to. Not that my tongue was cut off or anything, I just couldn't say words out loud. It's very hard for me and I've lived this way for sixteen years. Ummi said I was sick when I had a terrible accident. The shock of the accident did something to me. 

I pulled Ummi into a warm hug, she was sobbing lightly. I gently caressed her back and hair as she cried on my chest. " Faryah, he had a stroke, I feel like he won't survive this" Ummi said in a low tone as she cleaned her eyes with her handkerchief. Grandpa has lived for 75 years, he once had a case of cancer but he survived and now stroke. 

"Faryah, Firdaus is going to pay the hospital bills don't worry about that okay. Just come let's pray to Allah for your grandfather" she said again, as she held my hand in hers.

I was a Hafizah, I am very happy for that, all thanks to my Grandpa. He taught me everything. He taught me how to be a good muslimah.

We sat quietly and prayed for grandpa for almost an hour until the ringtone of Ummi disturbed our peace. " Firdaus?" it was my sister calling.

I and my sister were two different people, we don't even look that much alike, she looks more like Ummi and Grandpa. The only thing we have in common is our height. We are of average heights, I looked nothing like my family, one could say I was stolen or adopted or something absurd.

" You should come Firdaus, just leave work and come here now" Ummi says into the phone. Firdaus was a model, she wasn't really that deep in the deen but Ummi always tried her best to help her out. "Good, we'll be waiting and before you come, can you please drop by the house and get some of my clothes?" she asked again. I looked round the hospital, nurses were all over, doctors and everything. I admired doctors a lot, one needed to be dedicated to be able to be a doctor. 

I sighted an old man in his blue scrub walking towards us, he must be the doctor that was operating on Grandpa. "Excuse me, are you a relative to Mr Musa Mustapha?" The man asked and I quickly got up from where I sat and nodded. Ummi joined us after she ended her call. " Yes doctor, I'm his daughter" Ummi answered. " Well we managed to get him stable, he is now unconscious, and he's being taken to his room. We still have more tests to run, I can't say he's safe until we do more tests. You'll be able to see him in a short while, the nurse will show you to his room" He said calmly as he smiled at Ummi and I. " But he's hopefully going to be okay right doctor?" Ummi asked. " I can't guarantee you anything till he's awake" he answered. For all I knew, stroke could cause paralysis. " Thank you doctor" Ummi said and sat back down to wait for the nurse.

" Faryah we're going to lose your grandfather. I can feel it Faryah. We'll be all alone, but we can manage, we're strong" Ummi cried as she dumped her head into my chest. " We can do this, we can and we will" I needed to be strong for Ummi. She was our grandfather's only daughter and child, and her mother died whilst giving birth to her. Tears were brimming up in my eyes but for sixteen years, I have learned how to control them. I was not going to cry, my grandfather wouldn't want that. 

We followed the nurse to the fourth floor of the hospital, Grandpa was in room 205. " Please don't overcrowd the room okay" the nurse said and we nodded before she left us alone with grandpa. The room was large and the equipment looked all brand new. It was also painted white and the curtains were blue. 

Grandpa laid on the hospital bed, with the oxygen mask on his nose. There was a small couch by the side of his room and a table with magazines on them. "Su..suuu....Sumayyah" we heard grandpa whisper as he slowly opened his eyes. " Abbah, Abbah, I'm here" Ummi cried as she stood beside Grandpa's bed. I followed her and stood beside her, she needed all the support she could get. I watched as she took his hand into hers and kissed his knuckles. " Why are you crying Sumayyah?. Come on" Grandpa was always cheerful, he always had a smile on his face no matter the situation he found himself in. He was my role model.

He moved his eyes to look at me, " Faryah cheer your mother up, Sumayyah every soul shall taste death and its my time to. Sumayyah pray for me, pray for Allah's forgiveness for me, make dua for me, don't cry" he was always strong, I really couldn’t stop the tears from falling, it hurt me deeply, this wise man was going to leave us soon.

The door creaked open and Firdaus walked in, she was wearing a pretty nice Abayyah but she didn't cover her brown flay hair. She looked so pretty, well she was a model after all. " Ummi, Faryah" she said as she hugged us both. " Grandpa" she whispered and kisses his forehead. " Firdaus, where's your veil or Hijab?" Grandpa asked. I watched Firdaus roll her eyes and sigh heavily. Grandpa always complained about the way she dressed and she detested him for that. For all we knew, Firdaus wouldn't care if Grandpa died. " Grandpa, its sunny out there. I can't afford to sweat" she answered rudely. " Firdaus, Abbah, not now please" Ummi stated and Firdaus moved away from Grandpa’s bed to sit on the couch.

" Faryah, my little angel. I wish I could hear your sweet voice, but Allah knows best Faryah. Faryah a person who doesn't keep promises is a hypocrite right?" Grandpa asked me as he took my hand in his. I nodded in reply. " Good girl. Now I have one last request before I return to my Allah, and I am trusting you to fulfil it" I was more than willing to do anything for my grandfather, anything to please him before he finally left us. " Abbah, let Firdaus do it, she's more mature" Ummi said and Abbah shook his head. " Sumayyah, I want to make my friend see and be proud of the only granddaughter I raised properly and call my own with pride, and that is Faryah" his words were certainly going to hurt Firdaus. I tilted my head to look at her and found her reading a magazine, she acted like she didn’t care but I knew deep down Firdaus was hurting. I was happy that he was proud of me though, we were very close.

"Abbah don't say that, Firdaus is my flesh and blood and I am proud to be her mother" Ummi replied him. "Well of course, you gave birth to her, you forcefully have to be proud of what she is" he was using his words to attack Firdaus. They were never on good terms and he always blamed Ummi for it. " Abbah.." Ummi started but he cut her off. " leave that Sumayyah, Faryah I know this might come as a blow to you and you won't accept it for now, but Faryah, it is my dream to see my grand daughters get married to responsible men" I was starting to think twice about fulfilling his wish. He was suddenly talking about marriage, something I never for once stopped to think about in all my years of existence.

" Faryah, back then when I was so handsome.." Grandpa was funny too, I watched Ummi smile and it made me smile too. " Back then Faryah, I had a very ugly best friend. His name is Julius, me and him were so close and we wanted our descendants to be close too, first we said our kids were going to get married but his son fell in love with someone he married but she died on the wedding day of your father and Sumayyah. So Julius apologised and we decided that our grandchildren will get married instead" there it was. I didn’t want to get married, I never pictured myself getting married. I was mute, who would possibly want a mute wife?.

"Faryah, his Son has a very handsome young man, he's very responsible and nice and I would love to see the both of you get married" it was indeed a blow. It was my grandfather's wish but I didn’t want to face the torture of being married. I was a fan of romance but I never pictured myself being in a romantic relationship with anybody. I really didn’t want to. "Uhmm Faryah, you should be happy that your grandfather found a husband for you, at least your chances of dying alone has been reduced" Firdaus chipped in. It was a rude comment but it was true. "Firdaus stop that" Ummi snapped.

" Faryah we won't force you to do what you don't want okay" Ummi answered. I didn't notice the tears falling down my cheeks. It really wasn’t what I wanted, but for my grandfather’s happiness and peace of mind I had to consider it. 

Prophet Muhammad(SAW) married his daughters, Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum, off to Uthman bin Affan. They didn't complain or argue about it because they were obedient and they knew that their father knew what was best for them. 

I could follow in their footsteps, Grandpa wouldn't marry me off to someone irresponsible. I had to trust in Allah and my grandfather, they knew what was right.

I cleaned my eyes and looked at grandpa, he knew I was going to agree. I nodded at him and watched him he smile. " Faryah you're agreeing to get married?" grandpa asked me with his sight not leaving mine. I smiled at him and nodded again. " Faryah are you sure you're doing this out of your own free will?" Ummi asked and I nodded. " Well I guess I better start preparing for a wedding" Firdaus sounded happy, she has tried different ways to get rid of me and now she has. She ought to be happy.

" Thank you Faryah, trust in Allah and all will be alright okay?" Grandpa said and I nodded again. 

I was making a sacrifice and I knew if my grandfather was going to be pleased with me, it was worth it.

Most certainly.