The Natural Way

Isabella keeps me company while I eat. She tries and tries to get me to admit I want Fidel. I might like her, but I know she’ll definitely tell everyone everything I say, so I say almost nothing.

When she leaves, I decide to take a shower and put on some of the old clothes I have in this room. They’re old jeans and a shirt that are now around two sizes too small and it just reminds me of how imperfect I am.

I’ve let myself go in this house. I got too comfortable, I denied myself of everything too, just like Fidel.

I denied myself of a man, of more friends, of a job that didn’t involve talking to the same four people every single day.

I’m so sick and tired of this life, something has to change. And now that I have the idea of the sperm donor in my head, I really think I could make it happen.

Even if I can’t go out, there’s a lot of viable men in this house: Kit, Caleb… even Roger. He might be old, but his swimmers could be alive, right? Other than them, Fidel has a lot more guys that