Mag-log inVedant She’s not there when I return.A part of me had hoped against the odds that Chiara would still be there when I got back despite the late hour. But of course she’s not. She has a life outside of me.But what’s still there—and might be of some comfort to me—is my father’s liquor cabinet.Well,
Vedant I can’t believe that I’m back here already. Just hours ago, I had been here with Chiara. And in my mind, Iris had been alive.So much has changed, but I’m right back where I started the day. This time, though, I ask for where my father is when I arrive at the front desk.The nurse directs me
“Chiara,” I say. “Are you ok? Do you need something?”She shakes her head. “No. I’m fine.”But the truth is plainly different. She is burdened by something I can’t place.“Is there anything I can do? I know you must still be hurting–”“It’s not that,” she says, cutting me off.I blink. “Then what is
Chiara Vedant’s shoulders are slumped when he opens the door. His eyes are shadowed and unfocused, like he’s been drinking. It’s strange to see him like this when he’s always been so controlled and steady.But now he looks like something inside him has collapsed.I straighten at the sight of him, w
Vedant I go to the one place I know I still can return. Home. Even though I know my laptop is waiting for me there, devoid of any new messages from Iris. Because there will never be any new messages from her. Not anymore.Iris is dead.My chest still feels like it’s been cracked open, like someone
Vedant “What’s wrong?” Chiara’s worry is potent, and I feel immediately bad for causing her any additional harm while she’s recovering.“I, um…” I struggle to find the words. Are there even words to describe this? “I have to go.”I know I’m being abrupt, but I can’t have her see me like this. It’s
I tell myself that I should confront her. It’s the same argument I’ve had for days at this point. But before I can decide, Alice drifts toward me, all perfume and thick makeup.“Fancy seeing you here,” she says softly, touching my arm. “What’s wrong, Vedant? You look tense. Is it because of the room
Vedant It was not lost on me that the trip was supposed to be a reward. A time for celebration.Instead, it’s an exercise in restraint.Every moment that I am in Chiara’s presence, I wonder if this was the time I will ask her. So many times it was on the tip of my tongue. Are you Iris? But then I
ChiaraThis is supposed to be a celebration of my success with Vedant, but I can’t feel any of it. Throughout the night, I am numb, playing back what Alice said over and over. Thinking of Vedant and the decision he made.It eclipses all the joy around me. No matter how many people approach to congra
ChiaraThe arena is still buzzing half an hour later, and we are still taking congratulations from passing pack members. As time goes on, my pulse finally begins to slow from the rush of victory, but I can’t stop smiling.For once, things feel right.Vedant stands a few feet away, his hands on his h







