Chapter 8

LANVIN POV

I sat on the edge of my bed with my hands in my hair. My fingers pulled at my roots, playing and tucking at it. My breath came slow, then fast. I shut my eyes and tried to keep my chest from tightening again. But it was useless. I have been like this ever since I returned from school. My racing heart was getting worse as the minutes passed, despite everything I have tried to make it calm...it seems it just got more infuriated.

“Calm down,” I whispered as if doing that would make it stop troubling me.

But it wasn’t working.

It was my wolf and I don't know what's wrong with it. My wolf growled inside me. He moved around like he wanted to fight. Or maybe he wanted to run. Or maybe…he wanted something else. And the only thing that has been making my wolf troubled for the past few days was Zules. He wanted her. Zukelai.

“No,” I said out loud as realization dawned on me. “Stop it. I don’t even know what I’m feeling.”

My wolf didn’t listen. He never does when it’s about her. He does do whatever it is he feels is right. Or he goes according to his heart.

“This doesn’t make sense,” I said again. “I don’t feel things. Not like this. Not all at once.”

My chest felt hot like someone had poured hot water on it, my heart was beating too fast for a normal day, my hands were warm, my throat dry, and my head full of her voice, her face, her smell.

“I saw her looking at me this morning, checking me out in the way hungry girls do,” I said to myself. “She talked to me and I heard her voice. I felt her eyes on me but that doesn’t mean anything. It shouldn’t mean anything.”

My wolf growled louder, pissed off at what I was saying.

“Quiet,” I told him in a rather sharp tone. “We’re not doing this.”

But he didn’t stop. He kept pacing, pushing me, making my skin feel tight and strange. Like something inside me was about to break or change. Making my skin hot and burning from different sensations. A minute I felt like seeking out Zules even though I didn't know where she would be and the other minute, I feel like pounding hard into someone and making them scream, and the next minute I feel like barrelling the head of someone on a cold hard metal and watch them bleed, and the next minute I just want to scream my lungs out until it cracks.

I stood up abruptly, snapping my mind off the thoughts lest I acted on it and walked to my desk. I opened a book. I tried to read but all I did was blink at the words. They swam in front of my eyes like fishes in the sea, funny enough, as I expected, none of it made sense.

I flipped the page, read another line but still nothing. My fingers gripped the edge of the desk. I pushed the book away and stood again. My body felt too full like I was going to explode.

Then my phone rang. I grabbed it fast, glad to have something else to think about.

It was Jace.

I answered. “Yeah?”

“Yo,” he called in his usual light voice. “You good, man?”

“I’m fine. Don't tell me you called to check if I'm fine like I'm your girl.”

“Well you're not my girl but I just noticed something now, you don’t sound fine.”

“I’m just tired, Jace, and that's all..if you don't have something better to say, leave my phone.” I grinned jokingly and he knows I'm. It was the way we usually talked on the phone....teasing each other.

“Well, I think I've something better to say, we’re all at the rink. Are you coming?”

“For what?”

“Hockey, man. Is that supposed to be a question? You need to move that stiff body around before it rots. Come on, everyone’s asking for you.”

I didn’t answer right away.

“You need it,” he added as if knowing something was wrong with me. “Come hit something.”

I sighed, agreeing I actually needed to do this if I wanted to survive the rest of the day. I can't think of doing anything else other than sitting still and having my wolf torment with a woman I won't have. “Alright. I’ll come.”

“That’s what I like to hear. We’re waiting.”

He ended the call.

I looked in the mirror for a second. My reflection stared back at me. My eyes were darker than usual. My wolf was still there, watching, waiting for me to act as he pleased.

I dressed up in my gear, grabbed my stick, wore my pads and helmet and gloves. I walked out fast before I changed my mind and head towards Zule's room

The rink was cold when I stepped in. The lights were bright. The sound of blades slicing through ice filled the air. I could smell the rubber, the sweat, the frozen air. It felt good.

Jace skated past me and slapped me on the back. “About time.”

“Shut up,” I snapped but my lips parted into a smile.

He laughed. “Let’s go. We need you on this side.”

I joined the team and got on the ice. The cold hit me first, sharp and clean. I pushed off. The ice felt smooth. My skates moved fast. I bent low, gripped my stick tight, and chased the puck.

It felt good.

Too good. At least my wolf wasn't troubling me anymore and I hope it stays like this even after I stop.

I passed. I blocked. I glided left and right. My muscles stretched and pulled. My breath came heavy. My body liked the movement. My mind started to clear. The sensations in my body began to pull away. And something bright settled in me.

For a few minutes, I forgot everything. I forgot Zukelai. I forgot the heat in my chest. I forgot my wolf.

The puck slid across the ice, and I raced for it.

I reached it, spun around a defender, skated hard, then raised my stick — I  fell before I could take a grip on myself. My foot slipped and my body hit the ice hard. Pain shot through my elbow and side. I heard the sound of gasps. Skates stopped. People shouted.

I lay there for a second, not moving.

Jace skated over fast and looked down at me. “Lanvin?”

I groaned and sat up. “Yeah.”

“You good?”

“Yeah.”

“You never fall.”

“First time for everything,” I said, forcing a laugh.

He helped me up. The others skated closer.

“What happened?” one of them asked.

“You tripped?”

“Did you twist something?”

“Bro, are you sure you’re not sick or something?”

I laughed again, even though it felt strange. “I’m fine.”

Jace narrowed his eyes. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” I lied. “Just lost balance.”

“Alright. If you say so.”

We played again. I moved, but I wasn’t fast anymore. I kept looking around. My mind wasn’t in the game anymore.

I was thinking again.

Zukelai. And my chest was tightening, my wolf started growling once more.

I could see her face. Hear her voice.

Her eyes when she asked me that question. “Why do you care?”

I didn’t answer her. I hadn't bothered to because I couldn’t. My wolf wanted to scream at me. He didn’t want to stay silent anymore. I skated to the side and bent down, trying to catch my breath.

Jace skated over again. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not moving like yourself.”

“I’m fine.”

“You look like your mind is somewhere else.”

“It’s not,” I lied again, hoping he would just leave me alone. I'm tired from my wolf's drama and adding Jace’s is not in my agenda..

“Are you thinking about something?”

I stayed quiet.

Jace looked at me long. Then he shrugged. “Alright. But if you need to talk—”

“I won’t,” I said quickly, cutting him off.

He raised his hands. “Okay. Just saying.”

I nodded as I turned my head, my sharp gaze snagged on something...no.... someone familiar.

Dorian..He was by the far end of the rink near the wall.

What the hell is Dorian fucking vrykos doing? Earlier this morning the Black stone university — the hockey team — captained by Dorian had arrived for the seasonal inter-school competition. And so they would be staying in the college until the competition is over. But he wasn’t alone...No.... he was talking to someone. A girl.

She had her back to me but I knew that back all too well, like it had been imprinted in my memory. The hair was so familiar that I'd point it out even in my dream. That small movement she does when she’s nervous, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Zukelai.

I froze. My chest stopped moving.

My fingers tightened around my stick as questions raced through my mind. What was Dorian doing with her? What were they talking about? Why was she here?

My wolf growled so loud in my head, I could barely hear anything else.

Everything else faded as I only saw them in my vision — Dorian and Zukelai — Talking, smiling and getting close.

I took a step forward on the ice but I didn’t move yet. I just stared and waited.