The Preparation

Seattle's weather has a way of setting the mood without even trying.

That morning, it rained softly, tapping against the windows like a quiet promise.A reminder that the day had started.The sky was gray,calm and for once,I didn't mind it. It felt peaceful,like today was going to be a good day.

I woke up feeling refreshed and lighter than I had in a while. My phone kept buzzing beside me. Notifications everywhere. Messages, tags, comments. People remembered.Five years of marriage.

Then I saw his post.

“Happy fifth anniversary to my beautiful wife. Five years with you still feels like the beginning.”I smiled without even realizing it. Today is going to be a good day,I told myself.

Damian and I had been married for five years. Five years of loving him, adjusting to him, building a life around him. He had been away on a business trip for months now, and I had been counting down the days to this one. He promised he would be available just this day and I believed him.

I got out of bed and walked to the window,pulling the blinds open. The city looked slow under the rain. Cars moved quietly, people hurried with umbrellas. It felt like the kind of day meant for something special. My phone buzzed again.

Andrea. ”Happy five years,babe! I better see pictures later!”

I smiled, about to reply, when my phone rang. His name showed up,and everything else faded.

“Hello?”

“Happy anniversary to the most beautiful woman on earth.”Damian said.His voice was warm, familiar,like nothing was out of place. I let out a small laugh.”You remembered.”

Of course I did,”he said. ”Did you think I'd forget?”

I hesitated for a moment.

“Dae, I miss you.You’ll make it today,right?”

There was a short pause. ”Yeah. I’ll be there.Don’t worry.”

“Okay,” I said softly.

“I’ll see you later.” he added.

The call ended and for a second,I stared at my phone. He had been gone for months,and this was the one day I wanted him to show up.I pushed the thought away.Today was supposed to be good.

I met Andrea,my best friend since high school and a divorce lawyer, later for coffee.She looked at me and smiled. ”You look happy.”

“I am, ”I said as I sat down. “He posted about us this morning, and he called too.He said he'll be here.”

She studied me for a second,then nodded. “Good. He better be.”

We talked for a bit about random things, about work , about life. But my mind kept drifting back to the evening.To him walking through the door.To the look on his face when he saw everything I had prepared. I left to get groceries.I took my time picking everything. If today was going to mean something,I wanted to feel it in every detail.

Back home,I cooked.

Not just food. Something more.

I made the rice carefully until the grains just stuck a little to the bottom of the pot without burning. I basted the chicken with butter and thyme every seven minutes to get that perfect crisp skin. I knew exactly how Damian liked these things because I had paid attention during our five years of marriage. I remembered all his small preferences the way some women collect favorite recipes.I let the maid help here and there,but I handled most of it myself.I wanted it to come from me.

I set the table with our wedding china, the white plates with thin silver edges that we picked out together at Macy’s when I was 24 and he was 27. Back then we thought choosing dishes and silverware meant something big about our future. We only used those plates for special occasions, so putting them out on a regular Tuesday in February felt fake. But nothing mattered except how desperate I felt, and desperation called for the good china.

I lit two candles and placed them carefully on the table, to make the kitchen feel romantic with soft light. For a moment,I just stood there and looked at it all.It looked perfect.

I imagined him walking in,pausing for a second,smiling the waye used to.Maybe even pulling me close without saying anything.I held onto that image longer than I should have.

I went to shower,took my time,got dressed and sprayed on his favorite cologne before looking at myself in the mirror. Everything was ready and all that was left was him.

Time passed slowly as I waited.At first,it didn't feel like waiting. It felt like anticipation.I checked the time, adjusted the table slightly, fixed things that didn't need fixing.Then more time passed.

The rain didn't stop and the food sat untouched.The candles burned lower.I checked my phone more times than I could count. No messages. No updates.Just silence. The excitement I had felt earlier slowly began to fade,replaced by something heavier.Something I couldn't name.

Then my phone rang.

I picked it up immediately.”Hello?”

“Emilka, I’m sorry, something came up and I'm going to be late but I'll make it up to you,I promise.” He said quickly.“Oh,I said. “Okay.”

In the background, there was a faint knock.Then a muffled voice.

“Room service.”

I froze.

“Just a second,” Damian said, but not to me. The sound of movement followed, like he had turned away from the phone.My grip tightened around it.

“Damian?” I called softly. “Are you…”

The line went dead before I could finish the sentence.Just a dial tone,flat and cold.

I went quiet for a second.After months…this was the day.

I stood there for a while, looking at the table I had set.I replayed our wedding day,the night after,and a few more happy moments on the screen before me.I needed something to rekindle my energy.And it did.

I sat down and tried to eat just a little.I took a few bites and stopped.I picked up my drink and finished it in one go.That was enough.I left everything as it was and went upstairs.

I didn't turn the lights on.I sat at the edge of the bed with a bottle of liquor in my hand,the silence louder than anything else.I took a sip,then another,not because I wanted to drink but because I didn't know what else to do.

It was still raining outside.

He had been gone for months and somehow,even on the day he promised …

I was still here waiting