Chapter one– Memories and Regrets

Areena was sitting on the three-seater couch, sipping coffee alone in the early hours of the night. She hugged herself, even with the warm black turtleneck long-sleeve body-hug, soft cotton orange leggings and earmuffs the cold December breeze makes her shiver. She took another sip of her coffee then kept it on the center table looking at her phone screen.

9:50 pm.

Her eyes were glued on her phone, her lockscreen was a picture of her and a man, both smiling warmly at the camera. She sighed and kept the phone away, her gaze turning to the window, she stared at the street.

Snow falls silently and gently on the street like diamonds, each snowflakes shimmered in the moonlight, making a white blanket of snow covering the trees, ground, and houses, indeed a beautiful day to be with someone you love.

She heaved deeply and took another sip of the dark coffee she was holding and kept the steamy cup of coffee on the center table near her.

And gulping the bitter-sweet liquid down her throat, and closes her eyes. That's the exact feeling she's having right now, the nutty flavor forcing old memories to replay in her brain – sweet memories of her mother, memories of what happened three years ago.

Sweet good times. And some painful moments.

She opened her eyes to escape from them, as it fell on the wall clock seeing the time click 10:00 pm. She let out a deep sigh.

He's late already.

"Why would he keep staying late, not today at least." she whines out loud making the almost empty room echo.

They were supposed to discuss their wedding plans tonight, but he is an hour late from work. Having missed out on celebrating and having a special time together on both Christmas and New year, she wanted today to be special so she cooked his favorite meals, making it a little romantic. She hoped he got back in time to eat it. He has been skipping dinner lately because of staying late and relying on junk food.

Moving into their new apartment is one of their goals but this house doesn't feel like home.  After moving into this apartment for a month, they don't have a single nice memory together because of the busy schedule of their soon-to-be husband. The word husband makes her cheek redden. Hoping he'll be less busy and spend time with her like he used to do the previous years.

They are supposed to finish their wedding plans and get married within next month, but his busy schedule is stopping that from happening.

Get a stable job. Move into a new home. Get married.  Have kids. Grow old together. That's always been her dream.  Their dreams. 

As long as she's together with him, let the whole world be against her, that's the least she'll care about. With the love of her life next to her, nothing can go wrong. As long as he loved her, that's the only thing she's ever dreamed of, this one only thing is enough for her. 

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she calmed herself, and pushed all these negative thoughts away.

His smiling face appeared in her eyes and she let out a little smile. Making the apple of the cheeks turn to the shade of red, contrasting with her pale skin. Just like a teenager thinking about her crush. Even in her twenties, Areena is madly in love with Edward, the love of her life.

"The only thing that matters is I love him. And I always do."

She whispered to herself, the corner of her lips turning up while she picked the cup of coffee she kept and took another sip, warming her up.  

As an adult, she knows they have to come across obstacles in life sooner or later, but she felt lonely and craved his presence. Hoping for his company to settle, and continue living their days together like the lovely time they spend at high school and college.

Her eyes roamed around the room and falling on the boxes that were on the corner of the room, she got up and approached them. 

She was entirely busy with her student's CA. Being a lecturer she was busy making sure she finished everything about school so she could be free for this special event. She totally forgot to unpack these boxes and some other boxes in the rooms too. 

This was the box they kept all their old books and photo albums in. She bent down and opened the box, after going through some books she came across the big gray-covered album and picked it up.

When she opened the album, it fell on the page in the middle. She traced her fingers on a picture going back to the lovely scene they made at the beach.

OooOOOooO

It was only the two of them on the beach on a sunny spring day where the sun is blaring hot, but the cold water breezes shove it away making it just a lovely beach day, the beautiful white sea sand was mixed with a different coloured shell. 

A younger Areena, in her early twenties was running towards the water, the bright shining sun went through her cold skin giving her the feeling of excitement.

The birds were roaming around the clear blue sky making small sounds. She kept running enjoying herself, her long white hair cascaded down her back, her slim waist, and thin pair of legs, glows under the baring sun, the light breezes coming against her and playing with her hair, the fresh air felt warm making her inhale deeply, enjoying the earthy smell of salt sea water and warm sand.

With every step, she makes an imprint, showing her tiny little feet on the sea sand. The soft smooth sand under her feet was so hot that running through it felt like she was stepping on a burning grill, she stopped at the shallow edge of the beach.

She jumped in excitement when the water touched her bare feet, a light shiver passed through her body, where she felt it touched deep inside her soul and softness overcame her when the water covered her knee. Jumping more and playing with the water like a small child.

This is one of the best moments she has, alone with the love of her life. A broad smile spread across her face, turned around to face him, panting from the running and jumping.

"Oh, this feels great Ed, you have to try this"

Areena shouted so Ed could hear as she continued playing with the water with her feet.

"One sec, I'm trying to get this camera ready."

Ed replied, his attention fixed on the camera that he was holding, making it ready. 

"What?" She asked, she couldn't hear him clearly because of the splashing waves behind her.

"No, pictures can wait." She complained running towards him to pull him in. 

He snapped some pictures of her as she ran towards him. "See, all set now."

She jumped and threw herself on him, confirming.  "You have to get in the water, it feels so good."

"Okay, lemme get some pictures of you first."

"No, nooo pics can wait." She pouted, flicking her long lashes looking cute. He bent and pecked her cheeks.

Knowing him well, she didn't further whine because he wouldn't back up but instead she proposed.

"Okay, only if you promise to stay with me forever."

Posing a little, when I saw him busy taking pictures of her. She holds her right hand with her left hand at the back, bending sideways. 

"Promise, promise, that's a promise!!"

Ed squeals like a little boy, making her giggle, she posed more as he took the pictures.

"Okay, my turn."

She pushed him away from the standing camera to snap.

And took some of his back view while walking towards the ocean, as the light wind played with his hair and unbuttoned white shirt.  Stroking his finger in his hair keeping them away from his face. 

She admired the handsome guy in front of her while taking the pictures.

"Gosh, he's handsome."

She murmured with a smile, taking more of his pictures. After a trance of admiring and taking his pictures she ran to him throwing herself on him, hugging him tightly, something she enjoyed doing. 

He hugged her back, spinning her around, her giggles echoing, before he kept letting her down. staring at each other's eyes.   

"It's only you and me now."

He let out a relieved breath, and  whispered into her ears, learning in and peaked her forehead, his gray eyes never left hers. 

"Mhmm"

She answered while closing her eyes, feeling his breath fanning her. 

OOoooOO

The sound of her phone's notification brought her back to reality. She stood up heading to where she left it last to open the text, hoping it's from Ed, taking the photo album with her.

"Hey love, eat dinner and go to bed without me, sorry I'll be late again."

She reread the message multiple times while gazing at the screen of her phone for what seemed like ages, with a slumped shoulder, and downward face. She toast the phone away lost in her thoughts again, and dropped onto the sofa she sat on earlier. 

Cuddling into a ball, she hugs the album, never wanting to let go, calming her aching heart, suddenly feeling like ice cold water has been poured all over her, she rubs her shoulders for some warmth.

"I just want you to be here, is that a selfish wish that I can't get," she exclaimed her voice cracking, as she faced upwards "why can't this wish come true?"

She sniffled her eyes, never leaving the white ceiling, staring at it blankly, as hot fluid slid down to her ear. Hugging the album tightly. Feeling lonely.

"What are you doing now? What's more important than me? " She wimped.

"What!!?"

Sniffing, she shakes the album she's holding with all her might.  As if she's talking to him trying to make it answer her.

"What!!??"

"Why did you choose to keep tormenting me like this, Ed?"

She wimped again, her voice croaking. She sighs, hugging the album tightly, turning, she faces the cup of tea on the center table near her". A mild breeze swirls swiftly passing the earthy coffee flavor to her nostril. 

Making her yearn to have that nostalgic feeling once again. Her mom's tasty brewed coffee. Their old house. Her Mom's bright smile...

Her heart aches the further she thinks about them.

Did she choose the wrong thing / the wrong person? 

Is she on the wrong path? 

It has only been 3 years now, yet she's having second thoughts. 

Would this go on forever? 

Would he keep having this busy life and keep on ignoring her? Did he not love her anymore? 

Would this continue for the rest of their life? Choosing a job over her?

The evil thoughts she kept pushing away for the past days eventually backstab her mind. Making her head heavy and her heart stiff.

Amidst those bitter thoughts and teary-eyes, she falls under control of disturbing  sleep, she doesn't know when she fell asleep, or how she slept.

Edward

Ed entered the sitting room, it was nearly midnight, Ari is now deeply asleep, tired of waiting for him, though he messaged her earlier to go to bed  without him, he knows she can be stubborn sometimes.

Seeing her on the sofa cuddle up like a bear, makes him stop in his tracks for a minute which seems like hours. The best sight he has come across in the past 12  hours, or more, his timid body softened entirely, feeling at home. She's home. Changing in his tracks, he went to pick her up. 

His lips curved up revealing his left cheek dimple. Leaning in, he moved away the messy strands of hair on her forehead and placed a peck there. Ari can be stubborn sometimes, but only when it comes to him. He chuckled, heaving a sigh as he traced her chin with his finger, regretting not coming home early, she must be lonely, and he missed her too.

Other than him Ari is always a gentle, kind-hearted, sweet person. Knowing her stubbornness, she didn't eat dinner and was waiting for his return to eat it together. 

He noticed tear lines, and her red puffy eyes made his heart cringed, feeling wronged. She didn't deserve all this. With his new company, things are getting out of hand lately and he has to tackle it. Knowing he is being spied on, he can't let him see any mistakes in the company, everything has to be perfect.

But everything comes with a price, Ari can't be the price, everything is for her in the first place, but he can't let her know about him. He doesn't want her to be distressed, that's why he wants to address this issue alone.

Keeping his coat and office bag on the  sofa by his side, he picked her up, bridal style straight to the bedroom.

Being sleep deprived, he loosen his tie and lie down next to her, hugging her, never wanting to let go with that, they slept in each other's arms.