Chapter 3: "You can't."

Ryan’s face is stormy as he steps into the house. His men, fully suited in black and wearing sunshades spread out into every corner of the place.

Some of them take the stairs to the left, the others take the stairs to the right, more flank into the kitchen, and the gymnasium downstairs, They simply fill the whole house and I nod to myself.

He’ll have company then.

“I’m leaving.”

Ryan casts stormy eyes at me as he looks up, his Adam's apple bobbing when he husks a response, “I didn’t hear that right.”

His voice is a deep rasp that sets fear churning low in my belly but I ignore that feeling. I extinguish it and clear my throat as I repeat myself.

“I said I'm leaving.”

My purse is in one hand and the handle of my traveling bag is in the other. “I’m catching the next bus out of town, and then the next flight, and the next flight after that. I’m leaving.”

My chest constricts as images flash through my mind but I hold myself steady.

For five years I have suffered in the marriage my parents sent me off to. A marriage to a vile man who saw me as nothing else but a free whore.

Ryan’s anger leaks through his tone as he responds. “You’re leaving?”

I nod, annoyance seeping into me but that feeling dies the moment I hear Ryan’s next words. “My father loved you, Layla.”

My heart threatens to shatter as I hear that but Ryan continues, “Is this what he gets for all the final years of his life he spent being by your side? Loving you? You’re leaving not even a day after his burial!”  

Ryan’s voice rings with deep-seated contempt and the voices in my head start whispering again.

The voices laugh at me and tell me Clifford loved me. They tell me he just wanted me to have fun, the way he always said he did, but I know better than to listen to them now. I stare at Ryan with bored eyes and I swallow as I give him an answer.

“I hope your father suffers wherever he is, Ryan.”

Ryan’s eyes widen, just an inch, so I do what I can to make them widen even more, “I hope your father pays the price for the lives he’s ruined, for the things he’s done, for the money he’s acquired at the expense of others. I pray he burns for all of it.”

When Ryan clenches his hand in anger I deal my last blow, and provoke him into reacting in whatever way he wants to.

“I hate the way the sight of you reminds me of him. You’re all the same! Men who will not hesitate to do what they want with women, and I hate you, and I hate him, so I'm leaving. Send your family my regards.”

I make to walk past Ryan but he moves too, placing himself in front of me and blocking my path. Ryan stares down at me and a chill spreads into my bones as a disgusted sneer lines his lips. My breath hitches as Ryan leans low, and mutters words that almost shatter my resolve.

“You didn’t hate me when you were panting my name that night, did you, Layla?”

The night he’s speaking of is vivid in my mind.

It was a night when his father had used me again, and I sought comfort in anything or anyone I could find. I made a great mistake that night but I'm not going to make it again.

“If you’re going to hold that over my head, do it properly, Ryan Earl. Like a good boy.”

Ryan forces me to take a step back by taking a step forward and bringing himself within an inch of me. He’s decked out in a suit that screams force and power. His eyes send waves of danger and apprehension down my brain as he leans closer.

“Teach me to be a good boy, Stepmum.”

Goosebumps run down my skin as Ryan’s hot breath caresses my ears. My reaction is instant because my brain panics. I push back, putting distance between us so suddenly that my shoes slip on the tiles and I go tumbling to the floor. My heart is racing, my breath is coming in short spurts, my vision spins.

“Layla?”

Ryan takes a step closer to me and I don't know when a scream rips itself from my throat, “Don't! S…st..stay back!”

Ryan sneers and keeps on walking, ignoring me and moving closer. My brain messes with me and I see Ryan twist and morph into his father.

His dark hair thins and turns into faded white, his straight back becomes hunched and his broad shoulders narrow down, losing their rigidity and becoming propped up with pride instead.

Ryan Earl changes into Clifford Earl, the seventy-five-year-old man who was just laid into the ground, and as I watch a smile spreads on his face, the face of someone who had abused me for years on end.

My mind makes me run crazy and all I can hear is Clifford’s rumbling tone, his serious pleading face as he comes closer to me and asks me a question, always the same question.

“Layla, can you help me with something?”

“Layla, I’m your husband, can’t you help me this once? I’m too old for you, I know that, but you can use this chance to have fun with someone younger.”

“Layla,” “Layla”, “Layla,”

The voices rip a scream from my throat and I clasp my hands over my head, crumpling around myself as I let out deep heavy breaths.

Sobs are mixed into those breaths and I mutter unintelligible words. Even when I shut my eyes, all I can see is Clifford. Clifford coming for me with that pride in his pace. Clifford coming for me with his steel cane in hand.

Clifford coming for me so he can ask me - ask me to do something no one should be asked to do, but which he’d ask me to so he could be free of blame.

“You’ve always wanted to do it, haven't you, Layla?” His sneer and disgust would set every part of me aflame and my head would feel like shattering as he’d ask again, “Haven’t you Layla?”

“Layla…”

“Layla, stop this.”

“Layla!”

Ryan’s fierce growl snaps me out of my hallucinations. My chest heaves and I feel my heart expand and contract. I feel tears and snot turning cold on my skin from the chill of the blasting ACs everywhere in the room.

I heave and I shudder as I stare at the tiles, memorizing the pattern in my mind. Two squares overlapped, me in the middle, heaving and shuddering.

Two squares…. overlapped…. me in the middle…. heaving and shuddering.

Two squares….. overlapped…. me in the middle….. heaving and shuddering.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Layla! What do you think you just did?”

I ignore Ryan, not caring if he thinks I've gone mad. He has the liberty to think that. They all do.

I get up after a while, dust myself, straighten my dress, and push the loose strands of my hair behind my ear. I pick up my purse and grab my traveling bag once more. I can’t help my sniffle. But I make sure it’s a brave sniffle.

“I’m leaving.”

Ryan walks over again, ignoring whatever reaction I had to his proximity just now as he growls out, “You can’t.”

I stare into his eyes with open defiance and reply, “Watch me.”

I walk past him and go out the door.

My heart is hammering in my chest. My eyes are stinging with unshed tears, but I'm barely down the first five steps when I hear Ryan barking out orders.

“Lock the gates! Close every exit! set security around the house! Shut down the transport systems! I don’t care if the government is going to protest, do what I've asked and do it now!”

My world collapses on me because the moment Ryan’s done talking, men flood out of the house. I try running past them to the gates but the digital lock rings discordant when I tap in the pin. Locked.  Panic seeps into me as I tug on the bars, tears rolling down my cheeks as I pull but Ryan wasn’t bluffing. 

Cars drive out of hidden gates and those gates are locked immediately they’re out. I abandon my bag, running to the various exits and tugging on each of them, but they’re closed, firmly closed. I look back to see Ryan staring at me with a cold gleam in his eyes.

I run to him while a sob bursts out of me.

“Let me go!”

Ryan ignores me and doesn’t move even as I reach him. I scream.

“I said let me go, Ryan!”

Tears fall freely down my face and I shout at him. I push and I pound at his chest, tears streaming down my cheeks and my body shaking weakly, violently, “Let me go, Ryan, T…. Tell your men to open the gates and let me go! Ryan! I said let me go!”

I crumple on the floor. My body shakes as I cry, each sob sends a tremor through my body and sets my veins on fire. I can’t breathe, I can't think. I feel the world is closing in around me so I look up and meet Ryan’s gaze.

“Please, Ryan.” I beg in between deep sobs, “Please, let me leave.”

Ryan Earl crouches low and pulls me close to him, resting my head in the warmth of his chest and wrapping me in his arms.

I fight against him and cry so hard I don't know anything anymore. I cry for hours on end, as the sky darkens because of the incoming storm. The hail begins and the cold wind blows, I cry and shake but all the while I'm held by someone. Time blurs itself out and I give in to the tiredness. I give in to the sadness and I give in to all the frustration.

I pass out and wake up in a bed. 

The sun hits my face and sets warmth on my cheeks but all I can feel are cool blue eyes on me. Ryan doesn’t leave me time to react because he speaks before I can.

“You can’t leave, Layla.” A shudder leaves my chest and my eyes brim with tears, “I need you to stay…. Just for four months.”

I chuckle and scoff bitterly because he’s lying. I know he’s lying. He just wants to keep me here.

He doesn’t need me for anything.

A tear rolls down my cheek and I turn away from him and sob into my pillow.

I don’t want to stay here for four months. 

I just want to leave.