Chapter 1

It was late May and just the start of summer.

The central air conditioning at Starshade Creatives was set to 78 degrees, and I walked back to my desk with my iced coffee in hand. I paused for a bit as I passed the break room.

Two of my female colleagues were huddled by the water dispenser, their shoulders close to each other as they whispered, a hand over their mouths.

"Did you smell that? The place near the window? Something smells weird there."

"I did. It's been there since yesterday. It stank so bad it gave me a headache."

A layer of condensation formed on the walls of my iced coffee. The water trickled down my fingers, slightly tickling me.

I instinctively lowered my head and sniffed at the collar of my white blouse that I'd pulled out of the fresh laundry last night.

It was clean. I'd just changed into it this morning. I'd also sprayed on some gardenia perfume, and the top notes of citrus still lingered in the air.

I walked out with the iced coffee in my hands. When my colleagues saw me, they immediately shut their mouths, their hands freezing midair as they averted their gazes, not daring to look me in the eyes.

I said nothing and went back to my desk.

There was a department meeting that afternoon, and I sat in the front row. Another male colleague had only just sat down opposite me when he quietly got back up, pulled his chair backward, and sat down again.

He frowned slightly and held a hand over his nose.

I tightened my grip on my pen. My nails dug into the palms of my hands. It hurt so much that it turned numb.

When the meeting wrapped up, I pretended to bend over to tie up my shoelaces in the corner of the hallway. Two interns walked past me with some documents in their hands, saying in a low voice, "Does she really not smell anything? It's so embarrassing!"

"Who knows? Maybe she's already used to the smell."

I crouched on the floor. My shoelaces had already been done up a while ago. I pressed my fingertips against the cool tiles and lowered my head once more, not having the strength even to look up.

That night, after going back to my rented apartment, I took three consecutive showers and scrubbed myself so hard until my skin turned bright red and burned with pain.

I used three different kinds of body wash and made sure to wash my clothes with three types of detergent. I even stripped the sheets, pillowcases, and curtains to give them a good washing.

The next day, I sprayed on an even more expensive perfume that I couldn't bear to use in the past, making sure every inch of my body was soaked with the flowery smell of roses.

I looked at myself in the mirror and sniffed myself multiple times.

I smelled good. Fragrant.

When I went to the office, there were three people chatting happily in the elevator just as I got in. But the moment I stepped in, everyone fell silent. The three of them inched away from me and huddled toward the farthest corner in unison. One of them even held a hand to their nose and pinched it.

It was as though they were trying to avoid the plague.

My hand clenched tightly against my bag straps until my knuckles turned white.

Later that afternoon, I met with a client. After shaking hands with them, they turned around and wiped their hands with a wet wipe and repeatedly cleaned their phone screen, again and again.

I stood frozen in place, feeling my ear burning hot with embarrassment.

Then, I received a Slack notification from the HR manager, Lola Thomas.

"Amelia Summers, can you kindly come to the break room now?"

When I walked in, there was a polite smile on Lola's face. She poured me a glass of lemonade and said, "Amelia, have you… Have you been feeling unwell lately? Would you like to take a few days off to recover if you're feeling too exhausted?"

My hand around the lemonade glass trembled violently. The lemonade splashed out and landed on the back of my hand.

It was icy-cold. But I felt as though I was being burned at the stake.

…

Ever since then, I scrubbed myself even more intensely than before. I showered three times a day. In the morning, I'd scrub myself with sulphur soap. During lunch break, I'd call an Uber home to shower and change into fresh clothes. At night, I soaked myself in the bath with vinegar.

I switched out my perfume for five bottles, ranging from the lowest intensity to the highest intensity. I also bought three kinds of air freshener and deodorizer at home.