Letting Go

"Is it true?"

She said, venom dripping from each word she mouthed.

She looked at me her always sweet soft eyes that made me feel home and made me fight anything in order to see them always sparkling are now distant. She believed him the only liar in this room.

Nothing can describe the panic and shock I was experiencing. This can't be happening.

She was my mother; she was the only person I have; she is my only family. I can't stand losing her too.

 I shook my head, silent tears flowing down my face, not believing every bit that my own mother, the one that brought me to this cruel world, her own flesh and blood would think that low of me.

"Trust me, honey, she is lying, can't you see how reasonable is this, she must be too lonely, she doesn't even have friends," I stayed silent, "don't believe her tears, it's because I turned her down," Oh Ya Allah.

I froze in my place waiting for my mother's reaction and then it hit me.

Of course, she wouldn't believe me. If she would have cared through these years, she would have asked about my state. My father was wrong, all matters for her was her job and money. 

She kept glaring at me, as tears flow down her tired face. While I stood there feeling numb.

I looked over my stepdad and he smirked. He won this time too. If only my dad was still alive and she died instead. 

"I am sorry, I wanted to tell you before honey, but this wasn't the first time," her eyes widened and she replied, "What do you mean?"

"She always came home with marks all over her body, she even came with a different scarf today, doesn't that prove it," She raised her hand stopping him from saying anything else.

A faint hope rose in me expecting her to say the words I was dying to hear " My daughter would never do such a thing" 

She looked over me, her eyes landing on my neck. It was true, I had marks, however, anyone would know that these aren't love-bites but indeed scars, scars he left.

Her eyes lingered there on the same spot where Melissa hit me. She raised them to meet mine, and then I knew.

She doesn't believe me, she believes him instead of her daughter. How pathetic is that?

I wanted to see if she trusts me, before defending myself and tell her the whole truth.

I endured all because of her only, the beating, the bullying, the insults, and so on, I never wanted to trouble her and add to her work stress.

I loved her so much, she was my father, my friend, my sister, not just a mother or so I thought. Now, I realized how mistaken I was.

I no longer can take all that, everything I did was a mistake. I should have left the day my father left this world. I should have known better.

She opened her mouth to say something but I interrupted her.

"It's fine, mother. You have every right to believe him, he is your family now. I don't belong here anyway, I never did." with that being said I left the room, leaving me heartbroken and sad. I grabbed a bag and put some clothes in it and I left. Leaving behind the pain, the tears the house caused. I looked behind when I was outside to see if she followed, only to see her looking at me through the window of their room crying.

I started walking aimlessly with only one thought in my head, she didn't even try to stop me.