Chapter two : A new resolve

I pushed through the blinding tears and retreated my footsteps slowly.

‎

‎"no..." I continued to repeat to myself.

‎"no.."

‎

‎"Vicky... please...Vicky wait ..." Carl hurriedly picked up his briefs and dangled Into a pair of trousers.

‎

‎"yes, that's right Vicky.... run before it gets late in here, ...you wouldn't wanna know what happens under the sheets."

‎

‎"or would you?" she sliced maliciously.

‎

‎"No... Victoria please....."

‎

‎Their voices had drowned into the background as all I that kept  ringing was their deep and raw betraying sexual affair.

‎

‎"how could they do this to me?" I cried, heart wrenched as I ran  Into my car.

‎

‎But Carls speed had nearly caught up to me, his fingers clawing in on the edge of my car .

‎

‎My tyres screeched loudly as I hurriedly changed the gears into reverse.

‎

‎My hands trembled , but I held unto the steering wheel for stability.

‎

‎And zoomed off.

‎

‎

‎"get a grip of yourself Victoria. " I bit too tightly into my trembling lip, but the salty tears continued to find way into my tongue.

‎

‎My eyes remained blurry and unsteady as the vulgar  look on Trisha's face remained plastered in mind as I drove.

‎

‎It screamed, satisfaction.

‎

‎I gasped.

‎

‎Her malicious smile, she asking me to come over, the,,,,the sexual affair...., it was all a set up.

‎

‎She meant for me to see all of it.

‎

‎And now, my phone began to buzz, endlessly.

‎

‎Of course it was Carl, it had to be him.

‎

‎Ringing nonstop. What the fuck did he want??

‎

‎I stomped my foot on the brakes with all the force I could muster on the last ring.

‎

‎Burying my head against the steering wheel,

‎

‎My heart welled with so much emotions that my heart began to leak explosively.

‎

‎Raw and Ugly tears. That was what happened.

‎

‎Just then there was a knock on my door glass,  which was slightly wound down.

‎

‎"what the? ...go away..!!.."I shook my head furiously at the intruder.

‎

‎But he wouldn't leave.

‎

‎Standing there like the damn Fbi,  I hissed.

‎

‎His chest rose up and downwards with his lips slightly parted.

‎

‎Was he a sturdy fan or what?

‎

‎

‎"Fuck you anyways. You all are the same" I sniffed into my palms , painfully drying off my soaked cheeks.

‎

‎

‎I snuck a peek at my puffy eyes in the rear mirror, and averted my gaze quickly.

‎

‎And by the time I looked back. He was gone.

‎

‎Of course he was a weird one. thank goodness.

‎

‎Well, If this was what Trisha wanted. Then congratulations. She won the lottery.

‎

‎I said, speeding off back to my apartment. 

‎

‎Somehow, all through the ride, the playlist felt like the deepest warm hug.

‎

‎The tracks glided from a Billie eilish to Taylor swift all through the ride and when I had gotten home.

‎

‎The sobs had numbed down.

‎

‎I exhaled deeply and took out my keys, ready to soak myself into a puddle of wine.

‎

‎I couldn't tell mom. She wouldn't even support me afterall, she'd find a way to make me the problem.

‎

‎But as I opened the door, a little parcel fell off.

‎

‎"What's this, ?" I pushed the strands blinding my eyes backwards and picked it up.

‎

‎Was this what I thought it was?

‎

‎I folded the little piece of substance into my palm,

‎

‎Most importantly, how did it get into my car?

‎

‎Was someone trying to set me up?

‎

‎I wiped my eyes completely and entered into my apartment.

‎

‎

‎The first thing my eyes landed on was the frame.

‎

‎I felt my blood boil.

‎

‎The anger, sadness and betrayal had sipped into my veins and turned into a hot mix.

‎

‎I stomped my feet to the position and grabbed the cute frame ,

‎

‎"This is what I get for believing in love." I teared. Smashing it against the wall.

‎

‎

‎I scraped my fingers into my skull at this point, I needed to feel something, anything.

‎

‎Practicing deep breaths weren't working anymore, hopefully wine would.

‎

‎I reached for a glass and poured myself the strongest wine on my shelf.

‎

‎Glass after glass after glass. After glass.

‎

‎

‎"Fuck you taste so good baby.."  Trisha's sloppy tongue flicked in my head.

‎

‎"arrrghhhhhhhhhgghhh!!!!!" I cried out loud. smashing the now empty bottle of wine with all the strength i could muster against the wall.

‎

‎

‎An empty bottle? I realized... The wine was finished?

‎

‎How was i going to forget them now?? I panicked, rerunning through the wine shelf,

‎

‎"37% alcohol?" I picked up a bottle. " what the fuck was i supposed to do with a thirty seven percent alcohol?

‎

‎I cocked it open and sank it into my throat, feeling the harshness scorch my throat dry.

‎

‎

‎My knees had begun to feel weak. Like I couldn't carry my weight anymore,

‎

‎But more strangely, was the familiar arousal,

‎

‎Why the hell was i feeling this way

‎

‎Just like back at Trisha's house.

‎

‎"Nononno" I blocked my ears, trying to block out the sweet moans of pleasure that traumatized me now.

‎

‎I fell on my knees just in front of the table.

‎

‎Just them my lazy eyes caught that strange little parcel.

‎

‎"no Victoria...this is not you..." a voice said in my head.

‎

‎"you have the slightest clue who I am." I responded. Opening up the tiny parcel.

‎

‎"I'm a failure. I failed At my relationship, I tried to do something for myself, rather than hide under the family name and wealth and guess what?" I cackled.

‎

‎"I failed at that too!" I blurted.

‎

‎"so you don't get to tell me who I am." I said, and closing my eyes, I swallowed the entire substance.

‎

‎**********************†****‡******

‎

‎"Miss Vic...tor.ia?" I heard a voice slurr my name.

‎

‎my eyes opened softly.

‎

‎"oh my God... You are awake!" " thank God I didn't call the 911"

‎

‎"ahhhhhhh" I pressed my hand into my skull. The migraine seeping into my consciousness.

‎

‎"yes you are. you were totally...blacked out" said Becky.

‎

‎"After leaving a hundred unanswered calls, I grew so worried I had to come here directly, and when I saw you, I knew I had to call him..." she smiled triumphantly

‎

‎"call who?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows.

‎

‎Just then the door opened.

‎

‎And he walked in. 

‎

‎ the reason behind my misery walked in.

‎

‎The memory washed over me like a flood and in that instant, my heart grew heavy.

‎

‎"Vicky...." he treaded carefully. "I love you..you know that."

‎

‎"Becky, .... If you don't get him out of here on three, I'll call the cops." I said, my words landing like ice.

‎

‎For a second, he stared at me with disbelief, his lips slightly parted.

‎

‎"you don't mean that do you... Victoria, Thompson?"

‎

‎I needed him to leave before the mask fell off, how could I explain the burn of heartbreak and betrayal I was feeling without turning to my lowest point of nothing.

‎

‎I swallowed the bile.

‎

‎"Get out of my house carl."

‎

‎"What was i supposed to do with my hard on?!" he blurted.

‎

‎Apparently, his own mask had fallen off.

‎

‎"You wouldn't even ....." his eyes darted to Becky who looked like she could use a little help by  disappearing away from the heated conversation.

‎

‎

‎"Becky... would you believe she wouldn't even suck my dick?!" He thundered.

‎

‎

‎Beckys cheeks turned a bright shade of red. If she was embarrassed for me,I wonder the depth of the  pit of embarrassment I was at now?

‎

‎Probably under earth crust level chilling with  Satan.

‎

‎"I had deliberately dropped down the towel on a faithful day with my erect dick, hoping my 'girlfriend' " he drew quotes in the air, and continued,

‎

‎"would help me out, but what did she do?, act like a damn fuck nine year old running outta the room Becky.

‎

‎"Victoria. A twenty five year old.  Ran. Out. Of. The. Damn. Room because

‎.she .saw. her .boyfriends .naked .form."

‎

‎"And oh...did I mention that she closed her eyes too?." he chuckled hilariously.

‎

‎He shook his head. "we could have been a power couple Vicky. We could. But you know what you are so good at? " he asked, pointing his index finger at my face.

‎

‎"you are good at ruining everything."he said, and with that, he stormed out of the house with a loud bang.

‎

‎My  ears were stunned.

‎

‎And my speech was lost.

‎

‎An innocent tear escaped my cheeks.

‎

‎"Miss Victoria..." Becky ran to my shoulders, engulfing me in a hug from behind.

‎

‎"you know that's not true. I Promise you, things are going to get better, but for now, don't cry... please."

‎

‎I wiped off the tears off my cheeks.

‎

‎"you need lots of rest miss Victoria, " she sighed deeply,

‎

‎

‎"You can't overwhelm your self with heartbreak right now..."

‎

‎I turned slowly to face her, did she have any idea how I was feeling, that I'd just ignore it?

‎

‎"I had a list of calls for models who wanted a slot and I scheduled the meeting for tomorrow, you need a distraction...."

‎

‎"Cancel it."  I cut in sharply.

‎

‎Her eyes widened like she had just heard a suicide note. she opened her mouth to speak.

‎

‎"You are right. I need a distraction, and Im getting it tonight."

‎

‎"I...I don't get it" she adjusted her glasses saying.

‎

‎"Carl hurt me,"

‎"And the only way I can get back at him is to get even."

‎

‎"I'm sorry but I still don't have any idea what you are talking about." she said.

‎

‎"What I'm trying to say Becky is,"

‎"I'm getting the "D" tonight," a malicious smirk drew across my lips.

‎

‎"and I'm going to send the video tape to him."