Don't leave, will you?

I could hear my baby crying in my ears. Screaming in pain and asking me why I did what I did. I could imagine the judging, hateful look those blue eyes would give to me once she opens her eyes and the pain that would show itself in those eyes of hers. The pain was enough to consume me, to burn me, to torment me. With heaviness in my chest, I looked away from her unconscious body, lying on the bed with families around her. I could not bare to look at her, I could not dare to even think of going close to her, not what after I had done.

I should have been more patient, more careful, more tolerant, I should have attempted to listen to her. But I didn’t. It was not her fault and I would have accepted my own child. She came at a time that our world was dark and I was about to lose my life, she came way before I decided that I didn’t want to have a baby, and like a miracle, she survived. How I snuffed the life out of her.

I would forever live with this pain, wouldn’t I? This guilt, the memor