Giving up on the Boys I Loved

The moment I stepped out of the hospital, Sicily’s cold wind hit me in the face.

Lorenzo De Luca called almost immediately. His tone was as commanding as ever. He did not even bother with a greeting before launching into a reprimand.

“Stop pretending. Your asthma isn’t nearly as serious as you make it out to be. Come back and apologize to Sophia.”

Dario De Luca’s voice came from somewhere beside him. “Sophia hasn’t been able to sleep because of you. Look at the dark circles under her eyes!”

I glanced at my reflection in the glass doors. I looked pale, haggard, and almost unrecognizable.

They had not always been like this. In the past, they had worried about me more times than I could count.

I had had asthma since I was little, and every change of season could trigger an attack.

I remembered one night when I suddenly could not catch my breath.

Lorenzo scooped me into his arms and ran all the way downstairs without even stopping to put on his shoes. Dario drove me to the hospital, repeating my name the entire way to keep me conscious.

After that, they kept my medication in their cars and in their studies.

Whenever I was around, even the elders of the family had to put out their cigars the moment they lit them.

However, after Sophia Abba showed up, they seemed to forget it all. The affection that had once made me believe I was the only one who mattered to them was slowly becoming hers.

I did not argue. I hung up and called my mother.

“Mom, I’ve made up my mind. I agree to marry into the Romano family.”

There was a long silence on the other end.

“This is your life we’re talking about. Don’t treat it like a joke.”

Years ago, after my father died in a brutal family power struggle, my mother sent me to Sicily while she stayed behind in New York to hold together what remained of the Serra family’s business.

All these years, she had been quietly planning another path for me.

The Romano family’s willingness to marry into ours could help restore our family’s standing and give me a stable, secure life.

Still, more than what our family could gain from the marriage, she cared about whether I actually wanted it.

Even though the Romano matriarch had taken a liking to me long ago and hoped I would marry her only grandson, my mother had always left the final decision to me.

Once, I thought twenty years of affection was something rare. I only wanted to choose between Lorenzo and Dario.

Now, I finally understood that they enjoyed having me by their side, but they had never intended to give me a future.

I should have left long ago.

I unlocked my phone screen to check the flights to New York seven days from now.

I saw that Sophia had just posted an Instagram story.

The caption read: [Women who are truly loved only have to choose their perfect ring, while some women have to beg a man to marry them!]

In the photo, she showed off two different engagement rings.

She was leaning against my headboard. The silk dress she wore was another gift—one the brothers had taken me shopping for six months ago.

I closed the photo and blocked her account.

During my hospital stay, I lay alone in my bed, listening to other patients’ families come and go in the hallway.

Neither Lorenzo nor Dario came until dawn broke.

I did not want to spend the rest of my life waiting for them to choose me.

“Mom, I’m not joking. I mean it. I’d like to leave as soon as possible.”

My mother let out a quiet sigh. “Okay. I’ll make sure you’re safe and come bring you home. The Romano family will send someone to pick you up in seven days. I’ll take care of the engagement and marriage paperwork.”

She probably understood what had happened without me having to explain.

Before we hung up, she added only one thing. “Before you leave, have dinner with Victoria. If she finds out you left without saying a word, she’ll be heartbroken.”

I looked up at the gloomy sky.

I would use these final seven days to properly say goodbye to everything and everyone I was leaving behind.