Chapter four: College feels different

I've always wanted to go to college, not because I liked the stress that came with it, but because I wanted to leave home. I needed time for myself, and obviously I couldn't get that at home. So I was really excited when I got into college to study—not the course of my dreams, but something close to it.

I started staying with my sister off campus. I was hyped about classes and lectures, but I didn't know college meant more than just that. I also wanted to be different.

I no longer wanted to be the introvert I was in secondary school. I wanted to become who I really was inside, and be honest with myself for once instead of always hiding.

Bree got into another university, so we were no longer friends. I ended up becoming close with another secondary school classmate, Ella.

Ella was… well, she was Ella. Always active and hyper, the kind of girl who could get any guy she wanted without even trying. It was never a big deal for her. So yeah, we were chill.

I wasn't exactly innocent either, even if people might think I was. Not just because I wasn't a virgin anymore, but because deep down, I was never really innocent. And now in college, that part of me was going to show more.

Classes were always in session in year one, so I went to school every day. I got dressed in jeans and a top. I was never really the dressy type, and I was already late. I had braided my hair already, which was a relief because I didn't have to stress about it. I laid my edges, packed my tote bag, and left for lectures.

I met Ella already waiting in class. Lectures had started, and she gestured for me to come sit beside her. She was such a darling for keeping a seat for me.

I didn't mention it earlier, but I went to a Nigerian university. And as usual, if you don't get to class at least an hour early, don't bother coming—unless someone saved you a seat. That's when you'll see someone keeping an entire row of up to eight seats for her friends.

So we gisted while lectures were going on.

"This man, he can't even use a microphone in this big hall," I said, laughing.

Ella just laughed.

We jotted down whatever we could hear and ended up with barely half a page of notes. Funny how I said I was going to be serious in uni, and here I was writing less than a page.

We had another class in a different lecture hall afterward, and by the time we were done, we were starving. I didn't have money with me, so I decided to just go home and eat when I got there.

Ella went home too.

When I got home, I met my sister.

"I thought you had class today?" I asked.

"Yeah, we finished early," Andrea said.

Andrea was my elder sister. I nodded and rushed to the kitchen to look for something to eat because at that point, I wasn't seeing clearly anymore—literally.

"I thought you loved lectures," Andrea laughed.

She had always warned me about how stressful school would be, but I didn't care back then. I just wanted to leave home. Now, looking back, I could do anything to go back.

Weeks passed. School did everything it could to make me realize I had made a huge decision leaving home. And then I met him.

Cole.

I met him in the most neutral way possible. I had stepped outside one evening to buy something—a drug, because I had a splitting headache. As I walked out of the compound, our eyes met.

For a moment, it felt like the headache stopped.

He had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. He was light-skinned, with a taper fade haircut. He was handsome.

He stopped me and asked for my number. We talked on W******p for a while… then he ghosted me.

I was already used to being ghosted, so I just moved on. He was probably too perfect for me anyway.

I thought that was it.

But the first semester ended, and I was back for second semester in my first year. By then, I was alone in school because my sister stayed back home with our parents to work on a school project.

One night, I didn't even know what to eat, so I was just munching cereal while watching TikTok when I got a text from him.

"Can you come outside? I'm outside your compound."

I froze.

I didn't know what to do, because I didn't want to look like a simp—but I also really wanted to see him.