Chapter five: Loved for once

Why did he come back? I thought he was gone.

I started debating whether or not to go meet him. I had every reason not to. He ghosted me, never replied to my texts. I had already forgotten about him… or at least I tried to. But now he was just outside my house, waiting for me.

I went to see him. I met him standing tall outside my house, in a hoodie and a pair of black joggers. God, he was handsome.

"Sooo, how are you?" he asked, like he expected an answer.

"I'm okay," I said nonchalantly. I didn't want him to know I was upset he didn't reply to my texts. But he knew. He stopped walking and turned to look at me. It was nighttime, so it was dark, with just a flicker of light from a nearby streetlamp.

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you for a while. I was busy with some things," Cole said, trying to read my expression. But I kept my face motionless—trust me, that was one thing I was good at. "What things?" I asked.

"It's private," he said.

I smirked, but I didn't push further, even though a part of me wanted to. There was tension between us—light, but obvious. He could tell I was upset. "Can we go to my place?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," I said. Not because I was eager, but because I was alone at home and lonely, so it wouldn't hurt to stay with him for a while.

We walked to his house. The night was breezy. I had always loved night walks. At night, you don't feel the anxiety of people staring at you. I hardly ever went out during the daytime, which was why I barely went to class.

We got to his house, and he went to take a shower. When he came out, for some reason, I felt relaxed. He smelled so nice—one of those scents that are impossible to forget. I didn't even realize I was smiling and staring at him until he said, while drying himself,

"You don't have to do that, you know."

"Do what?" I asked.

And then I realized I'd been caught. I felt so embarrassed.

"I'm not doing anything," I said quickly, turning the other way, trying to hide it. He just chuckled.

When he was done, he came to join me on the bed. "What year are you?" he asked.

"Year two," I said.

He looked surprised. I laughed. "What?"

"You look like someone who's done with school," he said.

"Why would you think that? I literally have the body of a small child," I said jokingly.

"Your demeanor is mature," he replied.

I was shocked. All my life, I had been called childish.

We talked about so many things—even zodiac signs. I found out he's an Aries, a fire sign, and I'm a Scorpio, a water sign. I had fun. We talked and laughed about different things. I also found out that Cole had already finished school.

He looked so young—well, by young I mean handsome—because he was just 21. He was easy to talk to, very funny, and he had really good vibes.

One thing led to another, and we kissed—but this time, it was different. I felt longing, desire… that kind of feeling you can't even explain. It was way better than my last experience with Stephen.

The kiss deepened. I slid my tongue into his mouth and felt him take in a sharp breath. I straddled him, continuing to kiss him while running my fingers through his hair and along his sideburns. I could feel his body reacting to mine.

I couldn't blame him, though. I was feeling it too.

Then I remembered.

I was on my cycle.

I leaned closer, my lips brushing his ear as I let out a soft moan. "I'm on my period."

He chuckled. He already knew—he must have felt it when I straddled him.

Then I stopped kissing him.

"Why did you stop?" he asked, looking into my eyes.

"We can't have sex," I said.

He looked at me, slightly surprised. "We don't have to have sex. We can just keep kissing."

But the memory of my first time was still fresh, and I wasn't ready to relive it.

The pain. The hurt that came after. It still tugged at my heart.

A tear slipped down my face. I didn't even realize I was crying.

He wiped it away gently, then pulled me into a hug.

I had never felt that kind of care before. That kind of softness.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, looking into my eyes.

For a moment, I thought I saw love in them.

But I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should let everything out.

He kissed my forehead, pulled me closer, and said softly,

"Tell me everything."