روايات بقلم Tori

"What? You did what?"I could tell a lot of things were running through Ella's mind at the same time. Her eyes were wide, like she was trying to decide if I was joking or serious. "Wait… I thought you said you didn't like when he followed you," she added, this time with a small teasing smile. I looked at her for a second, then laughed lightly. "What can I say?" I shrugged. "You never know." She stared at me like that answer didn't make sense, then slowly shook her head."You're confusing," she said. "Maybe," I replied, sitting back on the bed.There was a short silence, but it didn't feel heavy this time. Ella leaned back too, like she was expecting more. "So…" she said slowly, dragging the word. "How did it even happen?"I paused. That question sat differently.I didn't answer immediately. Because even I wasn't sure how to explain it without overthinking it."It just… happened," I said finally.Ella narrowed her eyes. "That's

And then—he leaned in. It wasn't fast, and it didn't feel rushed. It felt like he was giving me time to pull away if I wanted to. I didn't. His lips touched mine, soft… like he wasn't completely sure. For a second, I just stayed there, then I kissed him back. Not deep, not rushed, just… there. My hand was still in his, and I felt his grip tighten slightly like he didn't want to let go. Everything went quiet in a way I didn't expect. No thoughts, no overthinking, nothing. Just that moment. After a few seconds, I pulled back a little, not too far. I didn't look at him immediately. I didn't want to ruin it by thinking too much. My chest felt tight, and I didn't even know why. His hand was still holding mine, and neither of us said anything. We just stayed like that for a bit, like saying something would change it. Then I finally looked at him. I looked at him, still lost in the kiss- but trying not to show it.He was already looking at me. "There's

"Pushing people away." I looked at him in shock, not because of what he said… but because he was someone who didn't really know me. We hadn't even been close for long, yet he said it like he had been watching me for a while. I didn't respond immediately. My eyes shifted away from him. Is this what I've become?The thought came quietly, not new… just something I had been avoiding looking at properly.I swallowed lightly. "I don't push people away," I said, but even I could hear how flat it sounded.i knew he was right, and I could tell he knew too. Jay didn't react quickly. He just kept looking at me like he was waiting for me to say more. I didn't.Instead, I adjusted the strap of my bag."I just… don't like unnecessary talking," I added. Still, it didn't feel convincing, even to me.He nodded slowly, like he wasn't agreeing, but also not arguing."Okay," he said simply. That was it.He didn't pressure me.And somehow, that made it worse-

I stared at the empty seat beside me. It was for Ella. I laughed to myself. Even if she did come, would she want to sit with me?I shifted my bag a little, then left it there anyway. People were coming in, talking like nothing had changed. Chairs scraping, voices low, some laughing. Normal.I faced the front. Class started.I wrote a few things down, then stopped. The pen stayed in my hand, but I wasn't really paying attention. The seat beside me stayed empty.I didn't look at it again. After a while, I reached for my phone under the table.Jay: "You ignored me." I stared at the message for a few seconds, locked my phone and dropped it back in my bag. The lecturer kept talking. I nodded once or twice, just so it didn't look like I was lost.I wasn't. I just wasn't there either.When class ended, I packed my things slowly. For a second, I glanced at the seat beside me.Still empty.I picked up my bag and stood up.Outside, my phon

It's strange how guys get attracted to me so easily. Getting guys to notice me has never really been the problem… not when I actually try. But do they stay? No. It always ends the same way, and when they go, they leave me with a heavy heart. Now it feels like I've been distracted from my problem with Ella. Here I am… standing with yet another guy. I glanced at Jay, and just like that, it felt familiar—another beginning I already knew the ending to. And the worst part? I wasn't even done dealing with Ella. He stared at me, waiting for my number. And suddenly, dealing with Ella didn't seem so bad… at least it didn't involve risking this again. He didn't rush me. He just waited. I sighed softly. "Okay… just take it."I said the number slowly, like my mouth wasn't fully agreeing with my decision. My voice was calm, but my chest wasn't. "Okay, I'll text you," he said.I didn't respond. I just nodded slightly. All I could think about was going hom

That evening I woke up with a heavy heart. I thought sleep would fix it, but it didn’t. Instead, I woke up with a heavy head too. I had no appetite, just a strange emptiness sitting in my chest. Ella didn’t text.We usually just chat, so I didn’t expect a call anyway… but I still didn’t know if that was better or worse than her shouting back. At least shouting meant something. Silence just felt unclear. I didn’t even know how I was supposed to react to it. So I decided to go out for a walk that night.The night was busy though. It’s campus, so students mostly go out at night. The rain had just stopped, so the air was cold and fresh at the same time. I had on a black hoodie and joggers, keeping my hands in my pockets as I walked slowly. I saw girls walking with guys, some with other girls. I envied them.They didn’t know the value of what they had… how fast it could slip through their fingers.I heaved a deep sigh. Or maybe it was me. Maybe I didn’t know the valu