HER: Secrets I carried alone

All my life, I never knew things would turn out like this. Funny how everything can change in such a short time. But can you ever stop it from changing?I never imagined I'd write this down in a book. Yet here I am. It's the only way to feel free of it. But anyway… let's get started, shall we?My name is Anna, and this is my story."It's time for school, wake up!" my mum called. It was just me in the room that morning—my sister was already in college, and I was in grade 12. I got up and dressed in my usual uniform. I tried to do my hair, but it was one of those days where nothing seemed to cooperate. So I just tied it in a bun and headed out."Finally, she's here! Where's my book?" Bree said. Bree was my only friend in high school. I never liked being noticed much, so I preferred lurking in the shadow of someone else."It's right here," I said, handing her the book. Assembly was about to start, so we rushed downstairs together.In class, I took my usual seat. Chemistry was first—proba

I thought not being a virgin at the time was a flex, but now I know otherwise. I wasn't forced; it was something I wanted to do. I just didn't think it would hurt this way. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. "Where are you going after school?" Bree asked. I just smiled at her, and she instantly knew. "You're going to see him again, right?" she said while looking at me. "Yes, I am—and you're coming with me," I told her.She refused, and when I asked why, she said, "Stephen's not good for you, and you know that. I'm not going with you to see him." I smiled knowingly because I knew she would still come. She was my best friend—that's what friends do, right? Later that day, we went to his compound, and as usual, Bree stayed outside to wait for me while I went in to see him. I hugged Stephen immediately I saw him, and then we talked about school and random things. Then he asked me the question. "Are you a virgin?" I didn't know what to say, but I knew

Why did he come back? I thought he was gone.I started debating whether or not to go meet him. I had every reason not to. He ghosted me, never replied to my texts. I had already forgotten about him… or at least I tried to. But now he was just outside my house, waiting for me.I went to see him. I met him standing tall outside my house, in a hoodie and a pair of black joggers. God, he was handsome."Sooo, how are you?" he asked, like he expected an answer."I'm okay," I said nonchalantly. I didn't want him to know I was upset he didn't reply to my texts. But he knew. He stopped walking and turned to look at me. It was nighttime, so it was dark, with just a flicker of light from a nearby streetlamp."I'm sorry I didn't talk to you for a while. I was busy with some things," Cole said, trying to read my expression. But I kept my face motionless—trust me, that was one thing I was good at. "What things?" I asked."It's private," he said.I smirked, but I didn't push further, even though a

The next few days were fun, I would say.Not perfect, but lighter than before. Sometimes we’d stay on voice call from morning till evening. I would be doing small things—scrolling, lying down, just existing—while his voice stayed in the background like a constant presence. Cole was so fun to talk to. And he was extremely blunt too. The kind of person that tells you things exactly how they are, without even trying to soften the edges. No sugarcoating. No hiding behind polite words.Just truth.And weirdly… I liked it.But then again, he’s a lastborn, so I should’ve expected that kind of energy from him. There was something about him that filled silence easily. Even when we weren’t saying anything important, it never felt awkward. It just felt like he was there.And I didn’t realize how much I liked that until I had it. One late night, I was lying down on my bed, phone pressed to my ear, the room quiet except for his voice.“Hey baby,” I said softly.

All my life, I've always felt less than. Socially, emotionally… even in relationships.Fitting in was never easy for me. Making friends wasn't either. And even when I did, I never liked being seen too much. I preferred staying in the background, where no one would look too closely.People never really understood me. Maybe because I feel things too deeply. Maybe because I don't even understand myself sometimes.For the longest time, I thought I was the problem. The broken one. The imperfect one in every relationship I found myself in.But now, when I think about it… maybe it wasn't always me. Maybe it was the people I kept choosing.Still, I always found a way to blame myself. Not because I wanted to, but because I was used to it.I was always blamed for everything. So at some point, I just accepted it. Like it was easier than questioning anything.But now…Looking at him—I wasn't ready to take the blame anymore."Hi," I said, my voice coming out quieter than I expected.He smiled