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INCONCLUSIVENESS
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HIM ALL ALONG HEART BEATS TO BREAK
GREG: ‘Relax…’ The word invaded the fragile part of my heart, pierced and shattered it to pieces. He aimed to serialise my tensed body. Nicholas urged me to relax to mellow my density. Except it worsened it. Hearing the word brought me fear. I wasn’t afraid of Nicholas. I wasn’t sure what ignited the fear. I was merely taken back to the day of my abduction — the stranger taking my innocence, his whispers and making me feel pleasured most painfully. “I can have my gift another time,” Nicholas said. He was thoughtful to consider my sudden withdrawal, but I wanted him. I wanted to have him in me. I was prepared and consented to what he craves. “I want this.” “Me too, Sweedy. But you must take a rest.” “There is no better pill.” “Right,” he smiled. He found it funny. “Don’t smile." “You are tired.” I was not! Driving that distance and roaming in the storm did not affect me. And please! That was not about strength. “Nick…” “Lie still, I will make the fire.” I couldn’t get hi
HIM ALL ALONG A CALLED FOR
NICHOLAS:I’d assumed I wanted to stay away, shut my heart against them, believing nothing was left for us. But before me, as they stood, the wrongs of my decision surfaced in folds.Park and Wendy opened portals to emotions I spent days locking and avoiding. Their presence invoked the decision to quit roaming in self-deceit and restrain from becoming an island.I missed them.“Hi,” Wendy responded.I missed Wendy. I saw my unconscious self running to and hugging him, except my legs stood as rigid as always.“Do you guys want to come in?”I tried to be polite.“Do you expect we do?”But Park didn’t see it. I understand his bitterness and anger, and at the same time, his camouflaged interest to come in.I opened the door and walked into the house, leaving Wendy coming after me and Park on a spot, ruffling his black hair in retaliation.Wendy stopped halfway to the living room. He should. I left it overturned before riding to Vain. I thought smashing everything to the floor would lift m
HIM ALL ALONG RUNNING ASTRAY
NICHOLAS:“He enjoyed it like you did…”Chills flushed into my system as Park repeated Vain’s exact words. They kept seeing and saying the possibility of that. What if they are right? Would that make Greg comfortable with a shitty guy who r*ped him, and watched by his ex-boyfriend? Would he not think I did that to as many boys as possible?“You won’t know a thing by overthinking and hiding,” Wendy read my thoughts. “You have to speak to him.”“Either way, I will lose him. I have lost him.”Yeah, I should keep these words with me to avoid expectations and disappointment. I will speak to him, but I must prepare only to be grateful if he keeps the cops rather than expecting a reformation in our relationship.“You must trust in the love you both shared.” Park encouraged. “If not you, don’t ridicule Greg’s feelings.” I shouldn’t. For a move, I listened to Wendy and Park analyzing ways to approach Greg and make the confession; a home call, school call, phone call, texting, or dinner date.
HIM ALL ALONG I AM DONE FOR
NICHOLAS:Instinct? I told you all I suck at it and no one spared me the deal.Look at what it got me to do. To flirt and magnetize on Capell for my anger, and as if that wasn’t enough, I walked into the damn garden with him, on the outlook of Greg.I had everyone rooting for me. Out of the blue and by my stupid action, I turned them against me.“You are an asshole,” Wendy said.“You are better off in the mud and alone!” Park added.But I am not angry. I have disappointed them again, so I deserve every name-calling.I looked over to the part of the garden that stood Greg after Waldeen walked out on me, and he wasn’t there. He disappeared. And when I turned back, Park had gone too.“Fuvk!”I collapsed on the seat with no idea of what to do. I shouldn’t go to Wendy in his present temper. Park may not dare mold a fist against me but his lashes won’t be better either.I should go to Greg. I went for him. I hurried into his classroom but saw neither him nor the curly-haired friend. I was ab
HIM ALL ALONG A PAIN AND ACHE
GREG:I tried to look happy and at my best. I covered my pains and laughed aloud to avoid anyone pining on my sadness and turning against Nicholas.Stupid as it may seem, I held onto the tiniest hope that Nicholas would come around. He would wake up and say he didn’t mean to abandon me.It never happened. Nicholas didn’t call or text. He shut down his cell phone to keep me from reaching him as well, and it hurt as hell.It hurts unimaginably that every night I cry my balls out; and end up running out of the house at the early rise of the morning to school to avoid questions from the household.“I am here if you want to talk about anything.” Mr. Ben kept saying.I couldn’t avoid him. Mr. Ben met me groggy and flattened every morning. Although he saw it, he knows not to ask questions and I didn’t tell him either. I didn’t tell anyone Nicholas broke up with me. I could confide in Mr. Ben and he won’t tell anyone if I asked him not to, he is loyal and attentive to whatever I request of h
HIM ALL ALONG CONFESSION
GREG:My eyelashes fluttered at the dangling light balls above me, my ears flapped to the loud music and my brain stupefied on the volume. Wondering why I was surrounded by such noises, I stretched awake.I felt the softness of an unfamiliar couch, and I made to stand but was hit back down by strokes of dizziness. Where am I?I couldn’t fish out the memory. I only got filled with flashes of Nicholas leaning to kiss Capell and parading him everywhere.Nicholas. I should quit him off my head, yet a series of trials to shut him out proved abortive and left me with a wrinkled forehead and soar taste.Meanwhile, I remembered leaving the school ahead of everyone, picking a cab, and unfortunately growing sick and ending up on the street. I had held onto a street pole to recuperate before someone came to my aid. Yes, someone familiar took me with him.Who can that be? He introduced himself, I remember, and also insisted I register it.The door opened and to avoid being caught awake, I becam
HIM ALL ALONG END OF DAWN
"Do not pleasure him, Code. I need him in pain." Said the only r*pist in the room. I heard him unzipping and my heart crumbled. Perhaps, he is about to take over. He is going to show this Code how a prey should be eaten. I focused on the sound of the zipper, picturing what the voice was about to do to me when Code's unexpected thrust brought me to gasp."Arrgh!"The pleasure I felt a while ago disappeared as Code clung to my waist and pounded in all might. His moans became louder and that told me he was after a climax."Uhh!" He exhaled and deepened his rod, slamming my hole to his satisfaction, with little mercy."Stop... Please." The pain was unbearable yet I gripped tight. I held unto the strange sensation that came from his every hard thrust.Yes, I felt pleasure amidst pains, and grew confused on which to focus on – the pain of being r*ped or the pleasure of having my first s*x.****************GREG:That is my definition of life up to this day, a Friday morning as I left my b
HIM ALL ALONG HURT BUT UNHURT 🔞
Gladly, I'm not yet dead when I finally woke and felt the existence of life, but my sight was blocked and everything, was dark. I tried opening my eyes but couldn't feel them. I lifted my hands to my eyes, and that is when I realized that I am tied to something and blindfolded. I kicked out my legs, they were free, but what use are they to me in this situation? I can't untie myself with my legs. I made to scream but my throat was as dry as a rock, so I retired to moving and muffling sounds to attract whoever to rescue me. I am certain I'm laid on a bed and tied to the bedpost for I can feel the softness of bedsheets on my back. The squeaks as I move and kick the air, tell me this may be a metal bed or a wooden weak one. I kept kicking and muffling until I got tired and decided to do a little thinking about my fate.I don't know what I have done to deserve this. If it isn't what I have done, Who is doing this to me then and why? As much as I do not care to know my dad's kind of busi
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