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A Mercy Worse Than Death. 

last update publish date: 2026-04-23 19:43:39

A Mercy Worse Than Death.

The space between them felt smaller than it was—like it belonged to him, not her. And for the first time, she wasn’t sure if she was fighting him…or herself.

It was unsettling.

“Why does it feel like you’re still hiding something from me?”

It wasn’t just suspicion. It was instinct—quiet, persistent, and impossible to ignore.

He didn’t answer. And somehow, that told her more than words ever could.

Something wasn’t right. She could feel it—like a truth just out of reach.

“That’s because you refuse to step outside the perception you’ve built for yourself,” he said. “Everything you need to understand is already right in front of you.”

Her uncertain gaze faltered, loosening the weight of his words—enough to make him pause.

“You already know everything you need to.”

Her breath stuttered, betraying the calm she was trying to hold.

“And what about the things I don’t?” she asked quietly, her fingers curling at her sides.

He didn’t answer immediately. His gaze lingered on her, studying. And his expression—hardened.

“Do you even realize how close you came to death?” His breath grew uneven. “Or better yet… Do you even understand what dying feels like?”

The intensity of his stare forced her to look away.

However, his words lingered, heavy and suffocating. But something in her didn’t break this time.

“They won’t grant you a merciful end once you’re in their hands,” he said, his voice low. “Do I need to remind you of the things they’d do to you… and your brother—yet again?”

Her breath hitched at the mention of her brother—just for a second, but he noticed.

Her fingers curled into her palms, nails pressing into her skin—as if grounding herself was the only way to keep from breaking.

The air between them turned heavy.

A shadow flickered across her face—something old, something buried.

For a moment, her resolve wavered—his words pressing in, almost convincing.

For a moment, they almost made sense.

Then something in her steadied.

A shadow crossed her face as she lifted her gaze again, meeting his eyes.Then, meeting his eyes, she whispered—

“I do,” she said, barely above a whisper.

“Oh?”

“I do know the pain of death,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “You make me live through it every day.”

For a fraction of a second, something in his expression faltered.

Then it was gone.

“If that were true,” he shot back, a sharp edge creeping into his voice as he stepped impossibly closer, “you wouldn’t be standing here arguing with me.”

The distance between them collapsed—suffocating, inescapable.

“You’d be in some dark corner,” he continued, quieter now, more dangerous, “waiting for your execution.”

Her breath hitched.

But she didn’t move.

Didn’t look away.

“Don’t confuse suffering with death,” he added coldly. “They are not the same.”

Silence followed.

Heavy.

Unforgiving.

Then—A faint, humorless smile touched her lips.

“You think death only happens once,” she said softly.

His gaze sharpened.

A shadow passed over her face—something old, something buried too deep to name.

“But some of us,” she continued, meeting his eyes again, “don’t get that mercy.”

She held his gaze. Her breath hitched—but she didn’t step back.

“You’re mistaking what you feel for what is real,” he told her. “You’ve let your pain define your reality. That doesn’t make it true.”

Her spine straightened, even as her pulse betrayed her.

“You make it sound as if I’m free now.”

“You don’t realize how free you actually are here.”

A faint, tearful smile touched her lips.

He read it instantly.

His jaw tightened.

“If you see me as a monster,” he said, his voice low, controlled, “then you have no idea what’s waiting out there.”

His gaze sharpened, turning almost cold.

“For girls like you…” he paused, letting the words settle, “they’re far worse.”

She felt it then—the weight behind his words.

“Out there,” he continued quietly, “even death would feel like mercy.”

A beat passed.

“But you wouldn’t know that, would you?”

Her breath grew uneven, each inhale tighter than the last.

It was just another jab he threw her way.

How easily he said it—without even considering how it might affect the fragile state she was already in.

Her heart lurched at the mere mention of that world—the one she had never known before. Images she couldn’t fully form pressed at the edges of her mind, vague and unsettling.

She hated that his words lingered—refusing to leave, refusing to be ignored.

How many times would he keep doing this? Instilling fear of this so-called reality into her?

She was already scared enough as it was. And the worst part was… a small, traitorous part of her was beginning to believe him.

Her fingers curled into her palms, grounding herself.

If this was his way of protecting her…why did it feel so much like a cage?

And no matter how many times he said it… it didn’t make her feel any safer.

It wasn’t her fault that she had been kept unaware of it. Was it? Or was she just trying to excuse her own blindness? Everything was happening too fast—too much for her to grasp, too much for her to process. At the end of the day, she was human too. With a mind already fractured by her parents’ death, she had been holding herself together the only way she knew how. Somehow… she had been coping.

And yet, his words lingered—unsettling, persistent—blurring the line between fear and truth.

The lie had been gentle. Survivable. But the truth…

The truth shattered her in ways the lie never had.

And for the first time, she didn’t know which was worse—not knowing… or knowing too much.

The difference between their worlds was unmistakable—like day and night, like morning and evening, like the moon and the earth.

Wasn't it obvious enough?

People often speak beyond what they truly understand—not out of certainty, but out of their own stubbornness. In doing so, they place their burdens on others, chipping away at their integrity—calling it nothing more than a way to cope with the world.

“Trust me when I say this—without it, the world out there is far more dangerous than you think.” His voice was steady, unyielding. “If you want to survive, you do what you’re told.”

A brief pause.

“I’m your chance. Take it—for your own good.”

His words lingered, twisting through her thoughts, blurring the line between fear and truth.

“So… you understand now?” he asked, watching her carefully.

Another pause—longer this time.

“Don’t push me into becoming the monster you think I am,” he added quietly. “Stay close to me,” he murmured. “It’s the only way this works.”

His gaze hardened.

“I won’t hear any more complaints,” he said softly. “Not again.”

“You intend on being the villain till the end, don’t you?” she spat, anger lacing her voice.

“A villain, huh?” He let out a low chuckle. “First a monster… now a villain?”

“Aren’t you one?” she challenged.

“Does it even matter if I deny it,” he replied, “when I’m already the villain in your story?”

Her lips parted, but no words came out.

“What difference does it make,” he continued, quieter now, “when you’re always the villain in someone else’s story? Just like I am in yours.”

For a moment, she had no answer—and that unsettled her more than his words.

“People will always turn you into a villain,” he went on. “Not because of what you’ve done—but because of what they choose to see. They judge you through their own fears, their own beliefs… their own version of truth.”

There was a subtle shift in his tone. She couldn’t quite place it—but she felt it.

“It doesn’t change the fact…” he added, his voice lower now, “…that you were innocent from the very beginning.”

Her breath caught. It hit her. His words. The word felt foreign—like it didn’t belong to her anymore.

And the way he said it…it didn’t sound like belief.

It sounded like certainty.

“Tell me,” he murmured, “if the roles were reversed… would you have seen me any differently?”

Could she?

It should have been an easy answer. Shouldn’t it? She would never have done something as cruel as he had.

Then why couldn’t she say it?

Had his words struck her harder than she realized—stealing her voice?

The truth was… she didn’t know the full reality. And somewhere deep down, she understood that if she did, her answer might not be so certain.

Astonishment was always the first step before everything fell apart.

She stood there—stilled, almost withering under the weight of it.

“You need to decide,” he said. “Would you have done things differently?”

She tried to speak, but her mind drowned her in a thousand questions, each louder than the last.

“The moment you choose,” he continued, “it leaves a mark you can’t erase. So choose carefully.”

That was the truth… wasn’t it? Her throat tightened, as if the words refused to pass through.

“Because there is no greater foe than fear.”

And this time…she couldn’t deny it.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” he said. “I’m giving you the chance. Tell me.”

When she tried to look away, his fingers tightened around her jaw, forcing her to meet his eyes.

“After everything,” he continued, his voice low, “if you still can’t understand how dangerous it is out there… then I won’t have a choice.”

He paused.

“I’ll have to lock you away. Until the day I die.”

For the first time, she wasn’t sure if she was right… or just afraid of being wrong.

And yet—she was beginning to hate him. Fiercely.

He stepped back, releasing her, but his gaze didn’t leave hers.

It lingered—heavy, unrelenting.

He thought he had given her a choice.

Had he?

A hollow laugh rose in her throat.

Because it didn’t feel like a choice. It felt like a sentence.

She backed away until the wall stopped her, as if even that thin barrier felt safer than standing near him.

Where there was attachment… there was always struggle. And he knew it better than anyone.

With that thought, he left the room.

And there she was—left to herself, staring blankly at the ceiling for hours, her mind spiraling with thoughts that unsettled her, each one settling deeper into her chest like a weight she couldn’t shake.

And no matter how long she stood there… the thoughts didn’t quiet.

~•~•~•~•~•~

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