HIS OBSESSION

The sharp air that blew at the grand cathedral was heavy with incense,it was thick enough to blur the sharp edges of pains going on in my heart. The bells rang in triumph,yet to me each sound I heard echoed like a funeral dirge. 

    My parents should have been here, my father should have been the one walking me down the aisle. My mother should have been the one giving me the final glow of my makeup and not Helen, she should have been here whispering courage into both my ears. Adjusting my veil with her loving hands.

But life was so cruel,both were gone—snatched from me in the drastic car accident three months earlier. And now I stood in front of the congregation in a white silk dress marrying a man I barely know.

  “Benjamin”.

“Benjamin is just a guy I met few weeks ago. I never believed or had intentions of getting married to him. But the pressure from my step mother just fastened the whole process, and he played along because we both were not getting any younger.

 And now he stood in front of me firm and confident, but yet his eyes betrayed him.

They were void of rest, shifting from one guest to another unable to hold a particular gaze for long. When he finally laid his gaze on me,I felt the weight of his attention but it seemed more like scrutiny than affection.

Yet, my tender heart clung to hope. If this was the life fate has designed for me, then I am confident that I would ride through with love.

I am ready to play the role of a wife who brings honour and not shame.

 “An asset and not a liability”. 

   A wife who honored vows, despite the fact that the man beside me trembled in uncertainty,still questioning himself,if he made the right decision to get married to me or not.

“Finally!!”The words I expected from the priest's mouth dashed out like water. 

"Do you, Benjamin Hales, take Audrey Williams as your lawfully wedded wife?".

A pause— long enough to draw curious stares.

“My God!" I hope it's not what I am thinking…

Benjamin's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. Then the words finally escaped his lips, firm but distant: "I do". 

I felt relieved.

   When it was my turn, my reply unlike his was steady, though my chest ached.

 "I do" 

The kiss was quite brief, mechanical and it chilled me more than the draft that swept through the stained-glass windows. 

----

The reception swelled with joy and happiness, but I just floated through it all. I accepted all the warm hearted blessings, congratulations, smiled politely, and endured the sly glances exchanged between my stepmother and stepsister, they didn't feel genuine. 

My dowry, my inheritance, my obedience—it had all gone to secure this union. 

Benjamin was by my side but hardly touched me, which felt weird and unusual for a newly wedded couple. His hand would just slightly brush mine, then retreat as though the contact burned. 

At some point I found him staring at his phone, his lips pressed thin. A message was left on his screen before he quickly tucked it away. I could only catch a flash of a few words— "she's not the one". 

My stomach knotted, but I had to force the smile back on my lips,so it doesn't look suspicious or seem like I saw anything.

I gave myself the reassurance that Love is a thing that could be built. 

“Love possibly can grow. I would tend it like a fragile seed, no matter how cold the soil was, because at this point I didn't want to admit to myself that I had just made an honest mistake.”

-----

“The wedding ended, and everyone departed to their various homes.

Benjamin drove me,my stepmother, and my stepsister to our new house.

They couldn't return that night because the journey was long, and the wedding had taken place in a different town.

The air inside smelled of roses and candle wax. The house was too large, too echoing, for just two people who barely spoke . I walked straight into the master's bedroom, my silk gown rustling like whispers behind me. I found him already seated at the edge of the bed, his tie loosened, his hands clenched tightly together. 

I didn't know whether to speak or simply wait for him instead.” 

"You look beautiful" he said flatly, like though the words were one he rehearsed. 

I smiled, though the compliment cut me like glass. I felt it wasn't genuine.

"Thank you". I replied.

He hesitated, like he wanted to utter more words but he couldn't. Finally, he stood and muttered something about needing air, and left the room.

I remained standing in my gown confused, glaring at the empty doorway, the silence pressing down like heavy iron. 

I laid down alone that night, still in my wedding dress. Sleep would not come. 

----

Benjamin's study was dim, out only by the amber glow of a single desk lamp. His jacket hung carelessly over the chair, and he leaned over a ledger, though his eyes were distant. The sound of the door creeping open stopped his thoughts. 

Helen. 

She slipped into his study room like silk sliding off polished wood. Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders, her lips curved into a smile that knew too much. Unlike me she was bold. Her dress clung to her curves and her perfume was heady, intoxicating. 

"You shouldn't be here", Benjamin spoke quickly, his voice stranded. 

Helen tilted her head, feigning innocence." Why not?.

I only came to see how my lovely sister's husband is copping on his wedding night". Her eyes flicked to the untouched glass of champagne beside him."Strange,though, isn't it? Audrey is in the room next door, waiting. And here you are, looking like a man who has already regretted taking his wedding vows".

His jaw tightened." I don't regret them".

" You don't"? She gave a smirk, as she stepped closer, close enough for her perfume to smoothen the faint scent of tobacco lingering in the study. She lowered her voice " you're a man of pride and dignity, Benjamin. 

But pride can never keep you warm every night. Audrey... She's soft, yes but soft things are always fragile. She can't fathom men like you".

His eyes flickered, torn between resisting and listening. Helen wasn't blind enough to notice it. 

She leaned in, her hand brushing against his sleeve, light as a promise. "Don't worry, I'll make her easier for you to love." 

Benjamin's breath caught, his fist tightened. He should have told her to leave earlier. He shouldn't have let this conversation continue, instead silence stretched between them, heavy and dangerous.

           —--

“I woke up because I was pressed. Turning to my side, I saw no sign of Benjamin, and worry stirred in me.

 I decided to go check his study.

As I approached,I heard voices from a distance. I stopped and stood in the doorway, unnoticed.

When I saw who it was, I pressed a hand over my mouth, my heart sinking deeper with each breath. I had come in search of my husband, hoping I could bridge the distance between us tonight. What I found instead was Helen's hand resting on his arm. I couldn't believe. My sister. My own blood.”

“The warmth drained my body, leaving me cold, frozen, as though my vows had shackled me to betrayal on the very night they began. 

I remained hidden in the shadows as

I heard Helen whisper words that would haunt me forever: "she's not the one for you, she was never meant for you".