ch. 1 | AS THE SMOKE DISSIPATED

"I'm home!"

I shouted as I opened the door, and there, sitting in the living room was my intoxicated stepmother, her head lazily hanging on the couch headrest while bottles of beer were scattered on the floor.

The rain started to fall, luckily I was home in time.

"Mom Eri?" I sighed as I flopped down into the couch beside her, she then groggily woke up, she wiped her mouth as she drooled in her sleep, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Tired from your previous customer?" I asked as I grabbed one of the beers at the table and flicked it open, gulping as Eri held her forehead and stood up, but her legs wobbled, making her sit back.

My stepmother works as a stripper at the city's largest nightclub, and a huge amount of money was on the way, but my stepmother and I chose to stay in this apartment for a while. I started working as a waiter at the same nightclub when I graduated from college and came to the city to live with my stepmother and work a part-time job that is now my main source of income and employment.

"That humongous shit was eleven inches!" My stepmother Eri shouted as she clapped and laughed. I spat the beer as I looked at her disgustingly.

"What the fuck? Too much information." I rolled my eyes.

Yes, I drink alcohol and work at a nightclub which influenced me to drink at some time, but I told myself that drinking would be my limit.

Nothing more.

I looked around, and it was still the same shabby apartment, with paper-thin walls and narrow corridors.

"Hard being a stripper, that's one thing for sure." Eri said as she grabbed the bag under the couch, zipping it open, she was met with tons of money packed inside the bag.

"That reminds me of before," I mumbled, making Eri look at you with a smug.

"Aren't you grateful for me?" She bantered.

"Of course— I mean yes I do." I scoffed.

"When my parents aren't there for me, you were there, so I don't really know what's the big deal about being dramatic and shit. It's just a pain in the ass." I added.

It's painful to admit, but I miss my biological parents. I haven't heard from them since I was a child. They just abandoned me for some reason that still bothers me. They vanished with no trace, not even a speck of dust.

Rumors spread that they were affiliated with criminal organizations, that they had committed crimes, that they had engaged in illegal gambling, that their wealth had gone down the drain as a result of their gambling addiction, and that they had fallen into a deep abyss.

But I believe none of them.

I wanted to hear it from my parents directly, not through rumors spreading around my neighborhood.

"At this point, I don't even know if they are even alive or dead."

Your stepmother looked at you, she sighed as she bent down and counted her money, a cigarette in her mouth as she puffed a smoke.

"Don't tell me you already gave up finding them."

"Tsk, I don't even know if it's worth finding." Emitting a deep sigh, I stood up to take a bath, but the sudden knock on your door startled the both of us.

"I'll open it." I said as I walked to the door, and opened it.

"Hey!" A lady said with two more women behind her, all wearing revealing clothes.

"Is Eri in there?"

"Ah, yeah, come in." I said, must be her friends from the club.

"Nadia! What made you come here?" Eri said, I sighed as I entered my room, but thanks to the thin walls, I can still hear them chatting. The walls do have one advantage, especially if you're a nosey one. At the very least, I was grateful for the walls.

Not really minding what they were talking about, I went to fix the clothes that were laying on the back of my chair, deciding to be finally productive in cleaning my room.

"Hey, your daughter's name is Allura, right?"

I overheard my name being mentioned, and can't help but listen to their conversation more.

"She's too pretty to be only working as a waiter at our nightclub." One of her friends said.

"Being a stripper like us is perfect for her, I mean her salary will be doubled, and she's working with us and we'll keep her safe. Her safety will be guaranteed while she makes money. A win-win, yeah?"

I scrunched my nose from the idea, me? Working as the same job as them? But I took it as a compliment though.

"C'mon, Nadia. I have different plans for her. I want her to have a bright future, different from us."

"Mhm, you said so, but I hope you don't think too lowly of our job. We may be showing our tits to those old scum men, but rest assured we're making a bank."

Being a waiter, let alone at a nightclub is more than enough, I completely have no problems with the strippers or other women doing those. As a matter of fact, I find them cool, but I just can't imagine myself doing it. Hell, I can't even lift myself up from those poles, and my stamina can't just keep up with it.

Minutes passed, and my mother's friends were still talking in the living room, just some adult stuff that is clearly not my business. Fixing the last clothes, I lazily slopped into my bed, staring at the white ceiling.

"Well then, goodbye Eri! I still have a date." One of the friends said. I heard the door close and the living room fell silent, going back to the usual.

After hearing their conversation, a sudden idea popped into my mind.

"I finished college with a double degree, having a sideline as a waitress while finding a suitable job, financially stable and healthy, yet why am I still living like this?"

"I know I should be grateful but... why?"

"Do I need to rush something, perhaps I should grow up?" I know the idea wasn't good, but after hearing what they said, I couldn't help but feel a little insecure about my life, progress, and social status.

Lifting my fingers, I counted, with the raindrops outside counting with me.

One

I had dignity and sanity bestowed upon me, it can't just be ruined like that.

Two

The clock was ticking, and I felt as if you were running out of time as if I needed to hurry things.

Three

Slapping my cheeks, I groaned as I covered my face while still laying on the bed.

Four

I have no energy, not knowing if is it because of your job or the words that I heard a while ago.

Five

I felt so young as if I needed to grow up. I began to feel ashamed because my stepmother is the only one who reaps a lot of money, and I would usually pay the bare minimum while Eri almost paid for the majority of the expenses. She always tells me to focus on my school and job, and she also mentioned how proud she was of me for working hard. She almost treated me like her real daughter, like I came out of her womb.

Six

Working in a nightclub affected me. I learned about illegal things but never did them. I was astounded at how people do such things like that, risking their life and family. Would it benefit them in some way, or are some people simply blinded by greed?

Seven

Nevertheless, I hate crimes. I despise gangs.

Eight

I never imagined myself being affiliated with some criminal organization. Those rumors can sometimes eat my system up. Play with my mind. 

Nine

Allura Everest Marin, I, has her reasons, and they aren't merely because she feels purity, sanity, or dignity bestowed upon her, a reason which she despises.

Ten

Fog filled the room, with the wind blowing in as the smoke dissipated.

"I'm never going to become like them.”